Currently Im up to my nostrils in deep, thick, brown kak.
Can't remember what I posted last about 3 days ago, and Im not going to go check cus its annoying to do so on an iPhone, but this is where I am now:
I've arranged accommodation in a hostel. And except for a slight issue with this weekend I've been able to book it so I can stay here for the whole week concurrently so long as I book a week in advance. I would've booked this with the management, but the assholes who run this reasonably priced place said that they're always fully booked and only do bookings online. Hail the age of automation, where no one can think for themselves and no one cares so long as the money keeps coming in. Trading your humanity for efficiency and the precious, precious coin.
The price of acom changes from week to week, next week being 97 and the following week being 101 for example, and its more than I was paying, and my diet is suffering accordingly, but Ive got enough money to not be hungry.
That's a bed to sleep in and food to eat, the basics anyone needs from day to day.
Now for the shit storm...
My PC broke after I updated my media on my mobile devices on Monday, so I've got only the first 3 Iron Druid Chronicles audiobooks and first 3 Dresden Files until...well some point in the future when I can get a new PC.
I've seen cheap laptops running Windows XP on Gumtree and that would do to let me download my audiobooks and that from places like Audible, I just need to find 50-75 quid from somewhere to make everything a lot more bearable.
Asides from this, I obviously can't do any college work in the hostel, only at the college itself. I should be there right now but I exhausted myself running across central London yesterday to check in with the job centre and don't feel like moving, much less running for an hour south to the college campus.
(My music player ran out of battery shortly before I went out the door, so Im writing this and charging it.)
And due to one of those stupid protocol before sense situations, again, again, I could find that the money I'm using to sleep indoors and eat with could vanish, and the first I would hear about it would be the same day I need to spend it. It just depends on how much attention people are paying to me.
This is fucking hilarious because the only time people ever pay me any attention is to fuck my shit up. When I really need help they ignore me, but when I need them to ignore me to help me they might as well be The Demon with 10,000 eyes.
If I'm ignored for 8-10 weeks, and I do my college work, then at best I'll be hired by the police, job done. And the training pay, which is greater than full time, will allow me to get proper accommodation and a life.
If not then I may, at worst, end up homeless and unable to finish my certification and therefore unemployed and on the street.
The phrase 'Dangerous Game' comes to mind. The one bright spot is that there's only a slim chance that the shit will hit the fan, but given that this is my life I'm expecting it to go to shit in about 3 and a half days.
I'm doing nothing illegal you understand, its just the nature of the government aid that at one and the same time is propping up my pathetic excuse for an existence and may snuff it out in passing if I'm not careful.
My aim currently is to get my college work done and maintain my acom, and that's it.
8-10 weeks of learning policing, being bored out of my skull, and worrying about my position collapsing and then Ill be employed with the money to take care of everything.
Just have to make it that far. The finish line. The boss battle. The last mile. It's a bitch. But at least it'll be the end, one way or the other.
Because if this shit falls apart I'm walking into fucking traffic the day after.
