On Saterday...

And so it comes to this.

I woke up this morning not in the mood for being alive.

You ever have mornings like that? Where you just wake up and all of 'You' screams in burning agony that reality exists and you're in it? The unfair part is that I don't drink or take drugs of any kind. I just have a genius brain that goes PING occasionally.

Watched some Californication, which I'm really enjoying now it's got to S06 and the crazy nonsense have turned into mad gold. Then crawled to the hypermarket and bought salad and things. Did food shopping for the next week today basically because I ran out of bread and most of my protein type items. Then came home and ate tortillas and chicken, bacon, sweetcorn mayo on seeded bread until I was full.

Wish I had bought more caffeine than a single tin, but low on funds until Monday so. Some coke would've been a good idea though, and I'm in fact sitting here wondering if going for another walk might be a good idea. Probably not though cus the short walk to the hypermarket and back resulted in my lungs trying to evac from my chest.

Fuck I need a doctor to check these things out before I stop breathing. Fortunately I've got an appointment on Wednesday so.

---

Played a couple of League of Legends matches after foods, and that reminded me why I stopped playing that dam shit.

That's why. I've won that game. Won it and should be worshiped as it's presiding god. But see there? Says 'DEFEAT' in big fucking caps at the top of the screen cus my allies are a bunch of mother fucking idiots who don't defend the fucking towers.

---

Hearthstone too, might be single fucking player but fully half of that shit is pure fucking luck, whilst the other half is how much gods dam coin you've spent on buying 'Cards' made of 1's and 0's.

That sort of bullshit annoys the crap out of me. It's one thing to play a physical game and fork over cash for individual bits as each bit needs designing and manufacturing, but art is dirt fucking cheap and digital distribution of software is becoming prevalent over hard copy cus that shit is stupid cheap, so where the fuck you do you get off charging me 1.99 per 6 pack of cards mother fucker?

---

I did just gain closed beta access to Kixeye's new MOBA called 'TOME: Immortal Arena', as I do sometimes because despite appearances I do keep up with new game releases and sign up for beta's like other people scratch.

Haven't played it yet for about three reasons.

The first is my PC is ageing and needs replacing [ah, the wonders of being terminally unemployable] so I'm not sure if it'd even run that well.

The second is that I tried mother fucking Dawngate and found that Waystone are a bunch of idiots who describe their game as a 'Fast Paced MOBA' when their shit is possibly the most convoluted and lacking in focus game I've ever played. And I don't really feel like going through that shit again.

And the third is I should be doing my college work or at least writing games design on Codex Mundus but given my existential crisis [though it was less questioning my value than questioning this universes] I don't feel much like doing anything.

On TOME though, and Dawngate for that matter, these new MOBAs, especially in the case of Dawngate, are pissing me off quite a bit because their developers are effectively ripping off League of Legends, which currently trumps any MOBA out there in terms of gameplay efficiency in the same way World of Warcraft made everyone it's bitch for a good decade.

---

The issue is that their designers have missed a few fundamental points in the design which are essential not only in League of Legends but in MOBA design in general.

They're a bit nebulous, but if I was going to put a name to a few of them I'd say the following:

In character design they've missed one of the key points of fictional mirroring.

Terry Pratchett's Discworld series [where I live half the time in my head] was so successful because he used the narrative design trick of mirroring the real world in fiction. The Last Continent for example was effectively about Australia, but he called it XXXX [a type of beer], and the content of the story was a reflection of what the idea of Australia is in the zeitgeist, the minds of readers.

Riot Games have done the same thing with League of Legends; taking that which exists in the geek and nerd zeitgeist and creating an icon of it to resonate with the gaming playerbase.

These new MOBA's haven't grasped that this concept is the best way to design a 'Legend' character roster.

Riot Game's take meme's and turn them into champions and/or skins, like the Bear Cavalry meme and one of Sejuani's skins.

And then they got vampires, ninjas, pirates, a Lich, a Skaven, an armored bear, a Golem, a Naga, and even a Trent. Those bitches got style mother fucker.

The Dawngate and TOME don't have style. DG has a walking tombstone and an anthropomorphic kitters and TOME have a Satyr, but that's about it.

Even the older MOBA's like HoN and DotA 2 don't usually hit the mark in good champion design, choosing, like the newer ones, to pull something out of their ass and miss the mark entirely.

I'm not saying that originality is a bad thing, but if you want to win this lil game you need to strike a cord, make a 'Legend', populate your roster with both fun to play champions [and they'll always be champions, not shapers or guardians or some stupid shit] but also those which stand out.

Surprisingly, but not surprisingly as it's fucking Blizzard, Heroes of the Storm by Blizzard is getting it right with their roster which made of every icon from their uber long running RPG and RTS franchises Warcraft and Starcraft.

That's how you fucking design a MOBA cast, though I admit they had a distinct advantage given that they're drawing on the popularity of their own IP's. All they had to do was identify the most popular characters and go to town.

---

I hear though that they cocked up the storyline in HotS by explaining how the champions work together and why they're fighting in the game's universe as 'It's all magic, trolololol'.

League of Legends ain't perfect, but at least they gave it the ole college try, and I would've expected more from Blizzard. Other MOBA's either phone in their backstory [give it a half-hearted go or try to make it unique and special and producing something totally ignorable] or do what I heard Blizzard did and simply provide an excuse.

Stories in MOBA's are tricky things. The idea behind the game is to produce a strategic combat simulator. But the origins of the MOBA genera are RTS games [Defense of the Ancients, the original MOBA, being a mod for Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos] which are a blending of topdown combat and a campaign story.

MOBA's need a campaign story which supports both the reasons these champions exist, and why they keep fighting on the same field of battle, and why death doesn't mean the champion is dead.

In League of Legends this is because the champions are avatar's for political powers, and on the fields of justice they're merely copies from the physical template of the individual that are under the command of a Summoner.

Makes sense and there's a certain story there that the player can look into which is never really developed or included in the actual client.

Fine, that's sufficient, but if you go beyond that then you're getting into realms of the RPG and it's not really required for your game. You need some sort of setting, but it only needs to cover the system, not be a standalone component of the design.

---

I said above that The Dawngate was slow, and it is, but it's ethos on 'Breaking the Meta' is also responsible for it's massively snow bally matches and lack of gameplay focus. Plus the clarity of the maps is almost non-existent.

Play a match of DG and, after you've chosen a non-iconic champion, you'll enter into a match whereby there is no flow to the gameplay.

League of Legends [as I said, the thing is epically designed so it is my first port of call for a reference, the only real issue is that Riot Games are mismanaging the fuck out of it] you do your pre-match and then you play a match and review it in post-match. Or you choose a champion you want to play in a given role, you play a match in that role, and you're prep and skill determine the outcome.

This process isn't well defined in DG. When I played it I couldn't find the Summoners Rift process of Blue > Wight > Wolves, Red > Wraiths > Golems. There're just monsters all over the place, a big bad in the center of the map, and then alters to consider, and towers, and everyone moves really slowly and BLAAAH...there's no flow to the gameplay.

Towers, alters AND jungling on one map makes each DG match almost as long as as an LoL match for each component, so like 3 times as long easily, but then they made the towers regenerate, the alters recoverable, and added in twice as many monsters on either side of the map as they're are in all of Summoners Rift, the biggest LoL map.

Someone took a good look at LoL and thought, 'that all works really well, so we'll take some of that shit and add in more of it for even more fun'. That's like saying, hey football is a well loved sport on this planet, so let's take it, add in two more goals on the top and bottom of the pitch, and make it so every player has a ball and there're 2 goalies for each goal...oh, and each match goes on until one side is 50 goals above the other side, so if they're evenly matched the game goes on for days, like a game of fucking Quidditch.

Fucking long dull chaos man...or at least it would be as the matches I played usually ended when one side simply snow balled and walked over the opposition.

That sometimes happens in League of Legends, but at least you can see why cus someone cocked up and fed or allowed the other side to feed. It doesn't happen as a matter of bloody course.

I stopped trying to play Dawngate however after I got sick of the lack of map clarity. League of Legends recently announced a redesign of their premier map for clarity in graphical presentation, and the preview screen shots look all kinds of fucking epic. You need to be able to tell whats what and where you're going and what you're doing. It needs to be quick, it's needs to be snappy, and it needs to be efficient.

Dawngate isn't. DotA 2 isn't. I'm not fucking touching HoN. Haven't played HotS yet, but want to. And I might install TOME but I don't think it's going to run properly for me.

UPDATE: I tried playing TOME: Immortal Arena after I wrote this. Turns out it's a browser title, quite snappy, no BS, closed beta so a couple of bugs. And I prefer stand alone clients rather than a system built on a system on a system, game > java probably > FireFox, but it was playable and I enjoyed it, so GG.

Few flaws in the UI design, no champion grid, odd rune/mastery champion customization system. On the other hand the auto-buy was nice, the lack of last hitting was actually pretty good even if it makes the gameplay too easy [just cus it's typically annoying, doesn't make it bad games design; some things are difficult, annoying AND fun by way of challenging], plus the stand-out-of-combat-for-HP regen made the gameplay much more efficient.

That's the thing with new MOBA's; everyone wants theirs to be quick and dynamic, but if you make it quicker you make it less complicated. League of Legends has this balance between speed and depth which doesn't diminish either. That's my view anyway.

League of Legends is teh shit. It badly needs some customization of champions and maps. And the ranked system needs seriously fucking rebooting for rewarding individual play rather than team effort cus I'm fucking beyond sick of being demoted cus of ELO Hell and all the fucking noobs. And Riot Games can rot in the hell for being more about the money these days than the craft. But it's the best MOBA out there pro tem.

And I think I'm about done here. Tired of writing [see inverted existential crisis]. Going to...in fact the name of my games thesis is current League of Legends Redux cus I never got around to changing it before making these blogs, but anyway, I'm going to base my game thesis MOBA on League of Legends cus it's just that fucking good.

---

Right now I'm gonna watch some more Californication and then do some college work at last. Write more nonsense tomorrow and maybe even do some programming plus college work.

Monday I start the search for new accommodation, moving out a week tomorrow. A week today I have 2 exams on my police course so I really must hit the books soonest. Wednesday I go to the fucking doctor for my throat, and hopefully haven't died of whatever it is by then.

Yup.

On Friday...

Starting this post early with good news.

--- // ---

Around 10am right now, just woke up, checked my email from the manager of my certificate in basic policing course, and he told me I aced [scored 100%] on my Week 5 exam. xD

That's amazing. I had the flu, had been awake since 1am, tail end of the weekend from hell, and yet I was still able to roll up in that class and word vomit out all the answers to a freaking exam.

On the one hand, I wanted to die and left the class early and barely made it home to bed before passing out. And on the other hand, I aced an exam in the middle of it when I nearly fell asleep on the desk three or four times that day.

There are distinct advantages to being an abused genius, not least that my brain is GENIUS BRAIN and still operates rather well despite being the universe's favorite chew toy. xD

Not bad.

I am going to get to college this weekend on a full nights sleep, solid revision and well fed before my next two exams. Highly confident [he says this now and JINXES it] that the next two will be no problem.

Good morning. ^-^

 ---

...Good grief, some people need a grow a sense of the dramatic. xD

Said to my course tutor, 'I can't believe I passed that with 100%, that weekend was a nightmare' in an email, and he replied back with 'I have double checked the results [totally deadpan] and it is 100%'...awesome...thanks...didn't mean you to do that you piece of bloody cardboard, THANKS THOUGH. xD

Taking enjoyment in your work, being casual, playing along, to me it's what makes doing anything worth doing it, but with some people they just can't see the rub.

--- // ---

Now around 12:30, just got dressed and about to clean my abode some before a photographer comes by after 4 tonight to take pictures for the estate agents.

Bit unsure what they're going to make of the fact that I've covered the vent in my room with duck tape after it grew these tendrils of dust or something and I didn't want to be breathing whatever it was spewing into my room. On the other hand though it's the landlady's issue and not mine. By law it's her responsibility to look after those types of things. I've not directly damaged the walls, the mold got there by itself by the properties design, so I've got nothing to worry about in terms of repairs.

 ---

In passing I emailed my college to see if my 24+ Student Loan has gone through to pay for my Certificate in Basic Policing course.

It hasn't.

Applied for it more than twelve weeks ago, missed section 4.1.1 and 4.1.2 [why yes, I have memorized the fucking numbers thank you so very much], and ever since they've refused to process it.

I've phoned them, Student Finance England, and had them confirm my identity and ask them why it hasn't been processed. Then when they said it was because they hadn't confirmed if I was in arrears with my full time student loan [section 4, two boxes] I said I didn't think so and asked them to check their systems. They did and confirmed that I wasn't, but said they needed it in writing. So I sent them a letter with the information in it with my signature. I filed a complaint when they still failed to process it via email and the complaints department at SFE checked with the 24+ Student Loan department and they confirmed I was allowed it, but they needed the actual form. So I sent them the actual form. Just after I sent it, a letter arrived titled 'We Need More Information From You'. I had just sent them the actual form so I decided to let that stand for my reply. More than two weeks later, now, I check and they still haven't fucking processed it. So tomorrow I need to fill out this fucking letter form and try again.

Just asked them to pass my complaint to the independent assessors, which is stage 2 of their complaints procedure [customer service, complaints department, independent assessors] to see if they will process it.

After that, we're onto the lawyers.

God dam it, I swear no one else has to go through this ridiculous shit but me.

---

I still can't fucking believe I passed that exam. xD

I was just so fucked up that weekend, what with the flu and the sleeplessness and everything.

Epic.

--- // ---

Cleaned up. Did washing up. Had foods. Very full. More cleaning. College work.

--- // ---

I've taken about 9 caffeine pills in the last 3 hours, and still feel tired. And each one is worth about 2 large cans of Red Bull...I think I have a fucking epic level of immunity to my favourite stimulant.

--- // ---

North Korea threatens war on US over Kim Jong-un Movie
- http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-28014069

The biggest joke of a nation on Earth, North Korea, decided that a movie about assassinating their tyrant made by the biggest sartorial nation on earth [in the sense of having the sense of humor of five year old boys], the US, is an act of terrorism.

Do these human beings know that the rest of the world thinks their government is hair-on-fire crazy?

I mean, it's one thing to hate the US and Americans in general and it's one thing to find something offensive and say so, but when you can barely feed your own population and can't invade the South end of Korea when you're the North, it's not a show of good form to threaten a world super-power with war.

Jus sayin.

Mad.

---

Cleaned the dust up, tried to extract as much mottled dust from the interior of my PC as possible, and now watching Californication and cleaning my bedside table.

Still really tired for some reason, but doing college work after this.

--- // ---

Got tired of not being able to use iTunes which has all my music on it when I wanted to listen to my Linkin Park albums with an equalizer applied for rock [everything from music to audiobooks sounds better with it enabled] so finally checked into why the program was crashing a few seconds after launch.

First I thought it was a plug-in from Last.FM called Scrobbler, which is designed to categorize what you listen to and then make recommendations on new music. But after running it in safe-mode which disables all plug-ins, it took a few more seconds than usual but it still crashed.

So I went hunting for answers again and found out that iTunes 11 or something is set to try to connect to this Apple cloud service, and if it can't then the program crashes.

...that's just genius Apple, total genius. Let's install a cloud service component across all platforms of one of our flagship pieces of software, and then have it break the program a few seconds after start up if it doesn't find anything to connect to.

GENIUS.

Disabled it and it's been running now for longer than 4 minuets so I think we're good.

Fucking genius though. xD

---

Chap came from the estate agents to take some photos of the flat, but it seems he took only a few; the kitchen, bathroom, main bedroom and the living room, none of which I occupy.

Not that my room didn't need cleaning, but that photographic event had nothing to do with me.

Whatever.

---

Not feeling quite as tired as I was and getting on with some writing. Changing gears to college work shortly.

--- // ---

Updated Codex Mundus, my games design thesis blog, with sections for the primer, part 1 and part 2.

I like it so far. Pure information. Just got to do some programming now to update the blog side, but I got police college work to take care of and I'm hungry now [19:40] so I'm gonna go get some foods.

---

Feel like I've been on edge for several days now. Ever since last weekend. It was a rough weekend. Big panic and now ease of life. That's what I think it is.

Well, I say ease. Just spent several minuets wondering if my moving out is going to go smoothly. Despite not paying my rent in a timely fashion I'm wondering if I'm going to have enough to get new acom and eat reasonably over the next two weeks.

The answer is to keep going until I hit a wall, and then try to plow through it.

Getting food and then, taking a nap maybe or something cus I'm really damn tired.

--- // ---

Yeah, that's about it for today I think. Going to bed early at 10pm.

Didn't do any college work today [whoops]. Must get on with it tomorrow.

On Thursday...

...WAT... :O

Currently somewhere between food coma and oxygen deprivation.

Went to the hypermarket, bought a french stick, a tin of soup, and some crisps, with some premix chicken, bacon n sweetcorn mayo. Then ate quite a lot of all of it between coughing my lungs up cus for some reason the cold air made my lungs fill with fluid.

Can't fucking wait for the doctors on Wednesday when hopefully they'll be able to give me something so I stop coughing when I move about a very short walk.

Used to run 20 miles as a matter of course. Now I wheeze and cough up fluid when I take a short stroll to the hypermarket. Fucking life man, it sucks.

*takes caffeine pills* Leets do dis...

---

Listening to Linkin Park's newest album called The Hunting Party, which I had no idea had come out 2 weeks ago. I don't listen to music that often and remember to check to see if the few bands I like have released anything new lately about once every six months, if that. Takes me a few gos to decide if I like it or not, and am usually not impressed by the first play through, and currently I'm thinking this is drivil, but I always think that. I know me...Guilty All The Same sounds pretty cool though...

Need to restore iTunes is what cus without a music equalizer for Rock music just don't sound right.

---

Still watching Californication despite what I said, which isn't surprising. What I said was that it was hollow nonsense for stoners, but it grows on ya, and the creators have found their feet now and actually inserting some drama into it around S03-4 where Hank has a lot of relationships and then it comes out he boned a 16 year old and he hits rock bottom.

Wouldn't say it's inspired poetry or anything but it's better than the only other thing I have on my plate at the moment called 'Perception', which is a generic cop show with a twist of neuroscience. *shrug*

---

Shaved my face, head and naughty regions this morning.

Face cus I have uber stiff wire beard and it's like termites are trying to eat me if it grows beyond a few millimeters, so beards are out of the question.

Head because otherwise you can see this halo around my head where the tops thinning out and it looks really stupid, and because no hair is best for exercise, although that's a non-issue until I get my lungs sorted out. And

And naughty bits because I hate public hair. It's uncomfortable, it's heating, and chafes. Plus sexual activity is just easier without it in the way. The only issue with this is shaving every 5-6 days results in a sandpaper effect everywhere you shaved. This is cool on the face and scalp, but not so much on your nads. Worth it though in my view.

Each to their own, but I roll with my lawn mowed.

The irony of course is that I'm an ape everywhere else, and have a mane on my upper back which is kinda neat. Excess testosterone is probably why I'm going bald, but also why I'm strong and usually healthy, and I've never liked having hair on my head, so it's all for the best probably.

---

What else...

---

From my todo list I'm taking some me time today to update my blogs. This post, art assets, URL cleanup, and some programming, which incidentally I'm now blogging about in the Codex Mundus [Book of the World].

---

I'm basically rebuilding my games engine and adding in some of the new concepts I've been thinking about for a while, such as base program structure of primary/secondary UI's aaand spherical voxel based environments which can be customized by the user. I'll add those in as soon as I've disemboweled my quaternion based camera perspectives demo which showcases every possible perspective of 2D projected computer games.

Essentially what I'm making here is something between League of Legends and Landmark/Everquest Next which is an evolution of Minecraft.

Notch was a bloody pillock who knew and probably still knows all about programming but didn't and doesn't know games design, Sony are making all the same mistakes he did plus a bunch of new ones as they know graphics but not games design, and Riot Games can suck my cock for their mismanagement of an admittedly great MOBA.

I know more than they do because I'm smarter than they are. They are just luckier than I am which is why they have the money to build this shit.

---

What I fucking want more than anything right now is for someone to pay me money to build games so I could build a working prototype of my games thesis and then call these AAA studios and cultural icons a bunch of useless fuckers.

Among the philosophical issues with this notion is this; building the best game of all time, the most efficient, the most fun, the most well crafted doesn't actually mean shit because if and when I do it I'm going to be so pissed that I had to and did it under these circumstances that I'll insult anyone willing to produce it to the point of rejection.

I day dream of being given an award for building the best game of the year or some shit and then smashing it to bits with a hammer or something on stage and calling these people who've never thought about what they're doing properly idiots who have no right to pat me on the back for proving their lack of insight.

A craftsmen, an artisan, a genius doesn't care for the opinions of no-less-men. He only cares about the work. But the fact is:

• Notch is an idiot and produced shit for kids. But those kids love Minecraft.
• Sony are a bunch of amateurs and are congratulating each other for their fine work. And people join in because they're the only game in town.
• Riot are so far up their own ass they're looking out through their own nostrils. And people worship them as despite being assholes their MOBA is the best MOBA available.

That's just it really; these assholes don't know what they're doing, but they're in the position to do it, whereas I know what I'm doing, but no one wants to be shown that their hard work and effort is effectively an elephant's painting compared to a Picasso.

I just hate humanity, and in that special way that only those who actually know how fucking wrong everything is can hate it.

Whatever.

---

Tomorrow I need to get on with college work and then look for new acom at the start of next week before doing 2 exams for my certification in policing course on the weekend, and moving into new acom at the start of the following week.

---

Skipped the Tribunal today.

I know I made a big fuss over going anyway but I needed a shave, I needed to clean my shit up, I needed some me time, I didn't need to go to a tribunal and try to explain myself to a bunch of assholes who weren't going to believe me in any case.

The whole reason I wanted to cancel the tribunal was to get on with my own nonsense which once taken care of will get me employed with the police.

Taking time out from that in any respect is simply a waste of time. Chillax today, college work tomorrow, not waste time today, chillax tomorrow, and then college work on the weekend.

---

Some idiot contacted me about buying my vinyl weights set. Offered me a good price for them and then realized that they were vinyl and said that his mate's set cracked during 80kg deadlift and he got injured. Personally I find this utter nonsense. Had these things three years, used them for all kinds of exercise and never had an issue. Pillock.

---

...Thank fuck for that, the caffeine is finally kicking in.

And that's it really.

Cleaning my room and catching up on my laundry, updating my blogs with art and info, looking forward to doctors on Wednesday, college work tomorrow, no specific drama at the moment so long as I can focus and get the job done. Have a look at Codex Mundus for my programming work, please do.

GG.

Have a good one.

---

PS: Been trying to work out why I keep swearing and I think it's because I'm subconsciously quite angry over the tribunal fiasco. I'm right, they're wrong, and there's no way I can resolve it in my favor because no one gives a shit.

The thing with me is that my thoughts are logical and walled off from my emotions, so if I'm cogitating substantially I don't feel very much on the surface. My diction however belies that.

When injured I swear sulphurously, not because I mean the words but because the words are tied into my emotions. The logical part of my brain is processing the injury and trying to work out what to do about it, to mitigate and control the pain, etc. Reason and consciousness is latched to the information of my senses. The emotional part of my brain however is feeling pain, and as my diction is latched to my emotions I swear without feeling. My mouth runs but my consciousness isn't associated with what's being said.

Maybe it's because I'm a genius but I've always found that when I'm in one area of my brain - programming, for example, requires logical processing - I'm disassociated with other areas - I hardly ever laugh or feel pleasure because I spend most of my time employing reason for example.

Compartmentalization. Being in the zone. The warrior and the scholar.

I wouldn't say this role mechanism is unique to me, but it is something I'm better at then most people.

Anyway, I was just wondering what the fuck I was pissed off about. Probably the tribunal. Shit happens. Shit passes. It's cool.

Fin.

On Wednesday...

...zzz...zzz...zzz...*wakes up, gets bowl of cereal at 17:15, and takes caffeine pills*...

...long...few days, really.

---

Woke up at 10am, went to job centre to check in for my benefits and was kept waiting for more than half an hour cus my adviser is terminally bloody disorganized.

---

Got out of there without issue and went down the road to the hospital, and after walking the length of the dam facility, one way to the toilet and the other way to the department I actually needed, I had some blood drawn for a test for Hep B.

I've not actually got it, but apparently, and I can't remember if I mentioned this previously, coppers are at risk for it, so you need to get immunized. Blood test to see if I'm immune naturally [hardly anything ever makes it through my alien system; I like to think my biological systems are guarded by adamant lil jerks just like the thing they're protecting] and then get £75 worth of injections over a couple of months in £25 quid shots which the police will pay for once I'm employed with them so what the hell?

I was going to make this joke about being attacked by a vampire and being surprised that they don't bite you, they just stick you with a needle, and they don't crumble to dust when stabbed in the heart, they just scream and bleed a lot, but I escaped before it could catch me.  :P

But I forgot about it. xD

---

Dropped off the jeans I was going to sell online as the local heart health charity store.

I've tried a couple of times to buy goods and sell them online, but no one will buy anything I spend money on buying wholesale so I'm never trying it again. Waste of freaking time.

Going to take the garden forks to a DIY store and see if they'll take them off my lands for like a fiver each or something. Like with the weights, I'm not shipping them to my new acom so if they'll give me tuppence for em that's fine.

---

Tottered back home and got my ass handed to me in Hearthstone about 5 times in a row. For some reason my uber priest build got me from lv20 to lv15 in ranked and then stopped working, although to be fair playing against a guy with nothing but 4 attack cards and have all 4 of my 'if under 3 or over 5 attack, kill instantly' cards is the client making me lose, not my lack of skill.

---

After that I spent a few minuets trying to find something worth watching on TV cus Californication just isn't for me. After S01 the guy stops being an abject misanthropic asshole and, well, I'm sure the show is enthralling to stoners but not to scholars.

Also I can't work out why the fuck I downloaded The Great Gatsby, although I think I was under the impression it's protagonist was played by Leonardo DiCaprio [mother fucking Wolf of Wall Street] and not Toby fucking Maguire [ya know, the bad Spiderman]. And as for something called...

...dam, forgot to download the new episode of Longmire. D: #HOW

ANYWAY: And as for something called Sleeping Beauty who seemed to be a B movie about witches and zombies in medieval times I think, I don't think I did my usual vetting there of the quality of what I was downloading.

---

Listening to The Used: Vulnerable as I write this too via teh YouTubes. Love that shit, especially the lateral part of the album around Kiss it Goodbye and Hurt No More.

For some reason I've been hit with the iTunes bug which is causing it to crash about a minuet or so after loading. I don't own an iPod anymore so I only use it for playing music, and I don't do that often so I've not invested the time in researching why the fuck the programs crashing. I did have a brief look about when it started, and it's a common issue apparently, but I didn't have time or something to see what the resolution was. *shrug* I just uninstalled it for now.

---

Posted my weights set on Gumtree.

Did this yesterday with a total absence of brain and posted the price as 'best offer' without defining what weights were actually in it [as I said, I don't function well in the heat]. Before Gumtree took it down for lacking a defined price I got about 20 contacts consisting of emails, phone calls and texts asking if I was serious about practically giving it away and what weights there were precisely.

Best offer really means whomsoever comes to me with a reasonable price, maybe one quarter to one half retail. A best offer for goods which don't degrade with wear seeing as they're heavy and durable weights you could store in a basement for a century or two and still use.


I reposted the ad with what weights and a price of about 2/3rd retail. Fine.

Got an email about 20 minuets after doing that from this bloody pillock who read enough of the ad to understand that I would take offers for the individual weights but not enough, apparently, to understand the part where I categorically stated that the buyer must be willing to collect. As an aside he also asked if the weights were cast iron when I included a stock picture of vinyl weights in the ad.

The police are drumming into recruits like me that understanding and tolerance are the first principles of community policing.

I've got no practical issues with this, but I feel it's a disservice not to call people like this moron an idiot as a learning exercise.

Fuck.

---

OH: On my way into the job centre to check in right, I had shit tons of papers and things in my pocket, and my appointment card, which you have to show the security guards before being allowed access to the building, was in amongst them.

I pluck the thing out and hold it out to the guard. He looked at it and asked me what it was for.

...I just looked at him, and in total sincerity he told me that I should ask him to check the card...

Why the fuck would I be handing the fucking card to you to check in the lobby of the building when you know damn well why I would be doing so seeing as you stepped in front me as I sauntered through the door?

I don't need to ask, because you know why I'm holding it out to you, fucking putz.

---

Doctor's receptionists are rude, security guards are morons, and people buying shit don't think.

I'm putting it down to the heat personally because I don't want to live in a world where idiots like this get employed easily and get to live their lives happily when I need to join the police before anyone will pay me for honest work.

---

Going to watch Longmire, cut this badger off my fucking head, and then do some police college work for a while.

Tomorrow I've got to go to the doctors for the medical history signature form, and then go to this housing benefits tribunal which is going to consist of 2 actions; asking them why they don't believe what I've told them about where I was and what I spent the money on, and then telling them I'll just repay the money as I prefer to invest my time and energy in joining the police rather than disproving this.

As I've said, I've got a severe lack of confidence in their so-called justice. Easier to just repay what I was entitled to rather than try to win a rigged game at this point. Invest my time in a worthwhile pursuit.

And that's it till next week when I'm going to the doctors for my persistent wheezy cough issue.

Sleep somewhere might be nice too. Don't know if it was the blood drawing or my activity over the last few days or something else but I've been awake for 8 hours and feel really tired. -.-

Post again tomorrow when I get back from this freaking tribunal.

On Monday...

YEEE GAWDS, I feel like a roast pig without the spit pole. -_-

Woke up at 8 this morning, coughed up a lung [I have a doctors appointment on the cards, I'm getting it checked, shut up], got dressed and went out. Bought breakfast, got on a train, went two stops, and started walking the length and breadth of the borough.

10am till 6pm, walking in the hot sun, stopping every once in a while to either a] buy a drink, or b] perform an errand. Must have been 20 bloody miles in total.

---

Got an appointment with the opticians [cus it's been more than 2 years since I got my balls checked, teehee] and doctors [cus if I don't I might die in my sleep when I stop breathing].

Didn't get my doctors form signed though cus when I went to go print it off cus I had forgotten to bring my other copy with me, the buggers in the library said they wanted 2 quid for a replacement library card and wouldn't give me my account number again.

Just so you understand, they couldn't give me an 8 digit number even though I only ever use the library for print outs and dropped like 10 quid in there to print off my police forms, but would be happy to charge me 2 quid for a replacement card cus I forgot to pick the thing up twice in a row now when trying to give them money.

Bastards. And I don't normally do this, but Peckham Library, 4th floor, staffed by mammonite assholes.

Plum forgot about cancelling the dam Tribunal hearing for that housing benefit issue right up until I was an hour down the road and didn't want to walk back. That's on the 26th so I'm doing it tomorrow before it comes and goes [whoops].

Booked a sign-on time on Wednesday with my job adviser to check in and be paid my job seekers and housing benefits. Took all of 2 seconds.

Then tried to book a bed in this inn I mentioned the other day which costs £55 per week. Trouble is that it's summer and fully booked, which wasn't a complete surprise really. Lady said there weren't many people leaving so don't expect a bed [though my instincts said she was lying, although either way I wasn't getting a bed there], so now I've got to find somewhere else to stay in 2 weeks.

This resulted in some thought in another library down the road and some calculation.

Paid what was owed for last week to my landlady, in full and more than she was technically entitled to, £165 instead of £135, which is £100 per week for the last 4 weeks now, but I've not paid for this week or my last week which will be next week, so I'm hoping paying what she wanted for last will keep her quite for now.

Besides, it's sheer sense that she's not going to evict me sooner than 2 weeks from now. She wants the 200 for the next two weeks, and I don't bother her, and chances are that I will pay it eventually. No point in chucking me out now for the stress and the 200 she would then have to pay.

...granted, she's not getting it as I need to cover the costs of new acom, one way or another, but she doesn't know that. *shrug* I'm still considering it asshole tax for the stupid lie about being hard-up. People who don't have money don't drop 15 quid on charcoal when their pay as you go hot-water gas boiler runs out of credit.

Fact is that I can either keep everyone satisfied and nobody happy or I can make a few people happy and few people angry, and I'm opting for the former.

I'm not ruining my one-every-six-months application to the coppers cus my landlady doesn't want to use her savings to cover the last fortnight's rent on her flat.

I've paid something, and the rest will be [only it won't be] forthcoming so she'll just have to deal with it.

It's student season around now so I shouldn't have any issue finding a new place to stay. There's lots of rooms for rent online for around £60-80 per week, so I should find somewhere easily enough, and if shit does hit the fan I'll just stay at a hostel for week or two. I really don't want to be doing that last one, but I might not have an option.

I did look into putting my stuff into storage, but Big Yellow wants about 90 quid a month to do it up front. Do that and there goes my deposit for a new room so that's a non-starter.

Asides from all that I also did my food shopping. Not a lot really except salad seeing as firstly I'm moving soon and don't want to take it with me and secondly don't have time or energy to make anything more complicated. Must get some tuna at some point as well.

---

Tomorrow I'm going back to the doctors for that form, the housing office for the tribunal, and a few places which might be willing to buy my weights, some garden forks and some jeans off me, none of which I want to take into my new acom due to weight and all of which would've gone into storage.

Right now though I'm playing today's quests in Hearthstone, then getting egg and bacon salad, and doing some college work as soon as I've made notes on my todo list for tomorrow.

OH: I also need to go have a shower cus I smell and my shirt is covered in salt stains from where I leaked all over it today. Also I need a shave cus the ring around my head from where my headline is receding is visible. I wish all my hair would just fall out and stay like it so I don't need to shave anymore.

---

Also, I've said it in the past but I'll say it again, the one good point about summer is the women.

Wandering around so much today, everyone going at the same leisurely pace, I spent about 20 minuets basically mesmerised by a really fine black bootie.

I don't normally like black chicks, there's just something slightly off about their appearance, my preferences being amazonian white women, like the atypical Texan blond [sans the fake boobs and bleached hair of course].

The apex example of my tastes is Dianna Dahlgren who's so dam cute and built out of spring steel which could only be better if she was a transsexual as I'm bi and prefer dick to pussy, although her torso is awesome.

Harry Treadaway, if I was naming attractive guys, would be a good example of my tastes there. Checked Google and he looks like a hipster in most of his pics and as for the hair...but he's cute in Penny Dreadful though.

Point is that black chicks have a certain elegance of form and feature, and their skin makes me think of lush chocolate. I have a new appreciation of them from today's ambulations.

---

OK, woke up, got cooked, did things, did my best, do more tomorrow. Yup.

---

OHOH: Started watching Californication...and I just got why it's called that cus of CaliFORNICATION.

Bit stupid to start with but it got better eventually when it turned out the guy was sleeping around cus he's a hyper cynical, misanthropic writer who uses sex and drugs to dull the pain of existing with better perceptions than other people.

Just like me really except I exist by trying to ignore the world instead of bathing myself in distractions...except for maybe writing excessively long blog posts and playing games, but that's better than booze, drugs and pussy...I think...although I wouldn't mind trying the last with a side order of dick too... *shrug*

---

Whatever.

Game time.