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Showing posts with label Perception. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Perception. Show all posts

01/07/2014

On Operations...

Hai! :O

Just realized what time it is, 10pm, and that I've not made a blog post yet. Also got a doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon which I can't forget about too [hint, hint to self], especially seeing as I'm wiping spit off my bloody monitor from explosive coughing right now.

Let's make this quick cus I'm vadeing college work at the moment to write this and I need to get the hell on with that...

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SHEL - When The Sky Fell (Official Music Video)

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Watched 24 S09E10 this morning, which is all kinds of epic. Really enjoying that at the moment and wish there was 12 more episodes [24 with only 12 episodes is just weird] but what they've done is quite cool.

It was weird seeing her from The Red Wedding playing the bad guy, but it's so very, very epic seeing Jack in 'That was me being polite, I'll do whatever the hell I want when I want and we both know you can't stop me doing it' mode. In all the other seasons he was working under authority, and now he's still doing good but authority of any kind can kiss his ass, it's awesome.

That's the kind of freedom I want out of the world; I know best and will do what I think is right and not only should you not stop me doing it but trying to stop me once I set my mind to it is impossible.

Some day.

In other TV news: been trying to remember for several days now where I've seen the actor who plays the protagonist in Perception before, and then remembered it was Will and Grace, a US sitcom where he played this gay guy as a lawyer I think.

Gay guy lawyer in sitcom to FBI consultant paranoid schizophrenic brain specialist. GG. And he's hot too [no homo...well, half homo cus I'm bi, but I'd hit that].

It annoys me though that this thing is on it's third season now and Lie to Me got cancelled after two. Granted it went off the rails at the start of season two, but I'd rather have a continuation of season one than this. But Perception isn't a bad watch, though it does seem like every other show is a...what do they call them? Police procedural isn't it? But I've not seen a show about a paranoid schizophrenic before, and the self-reflective episodes appeal to me because half the time I think I'm several ants short of a picnic.

There was a show in 2013 called Dracula. It was a supernatural period piece featuring a rework of the traditional Dracula story. And I thought it was fucking excellent. The story was good, the action was awesome, his struggle to hide his nature was epic, the whole wireless electricity idea was very steam punk, and the black Igor was inspire. And then it got shit canned by ABC after one season. I fucking hate it when that happens. And it didn't deserve it.

Revolution got cancelled after two seasons, which was understandable because it went right off the rails after the first season, but there was nothing wrong with Dracula. Someone should pick that shit up as a novel concept and go to town, they'd make millions for the rework of the classic.

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I mean, it's a comparative analysis. You walk around not thinking like other people, you see what they don't, they tell you that you should feel this with this stimulus and you start to wonder what's broken inside your head when disassociated people tell you the same thing.

If sanity is measured by the consensus, and I don't think like everyone else, who is the madman here; me or the rest of the world? Personally I believe I'm functionally dysfunctional; I might not be like everyone else, but I'm not unhappy about that and I do get my work done [when I have any to do anyway], so what's the harm?

Well the harm is that sometimes I run into annoying lil troublemakers who decide that the big freak is too freakish to be allowed and his entire existence must be questioned and ostracised. There's a price you pay for originality, and that is rejection by your peers. Doesn't matter if it's in terms of social behaviour or professional conceptualization, if you don't measure up to someone else's standard of normal sometimes people give you a lot of grief over it in the belief that unless you're like the rest of the apples you must be poisonous rot, rather than a banana.

That's humans, and people wonder why I'm misanthropic and oh so cynical.

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With my adoption of Google 'Chrome' as my browser of choice at the moment after years of using Firefox I decided to go check out the rest of Google's product range.

This was after I restored the drag scroll functionality I have in Firefox to Chrome anyway with the 'Scrollbar Anywhere' extension. This should be included by default in all browsers as it's the best way to precisely control scrolling when you're reading for example and want a slow slide down the page.


I've adopted 'Docs', 'Sites' and 'Drive' from this list.

Docs is basically MS Word online and saves the files to Drive, online cloud storage. Sites can be set up to be like an editable PDF document, so you write a chapter introduction, and then write each sequential part under it. Automatic headings you could say and a great way to categorize content of a book or something. I think it might be useful for writing my computer games development thesis rather than Codex Mundus maybe.

I can see why the meme about Google becoming our new overlords was made after looking at this list cus let's face it, if you go around making a lot of high quality free online software which works neigh perfectly you're going to go a long, long way.

If they made Google 'Games', a computer games studio with their own console I'm sure they could corner the fucking games market easily.

Strangely though you never really hear about their products. Everyone knows about the search engine, the translator, and maybe even the blogger, and Google+ pops up every now and again, but a lot of this stuff isn't well known I don't think. I've not seen it in the places where I hear about associated online services like them anyway.

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After thinking about this for a while I did realize how virtual computing could work though.

I mean, if you had a device with great graphical processing capacity and display plus a powerful on-board router which could access over the internet something like Google 'Docs' and 'Drive', then you wouldn't need a PC with it's own hard disk drive and processor, you'd just access Google 'PC' for example and they'd do the operations and send the results to your screen.

Alright, so that comes with a whole bag of complications ranging from a spectrum of privacy issues, both in regards to your host searching your files for information combined with inception of files on route between the host server and your work station, and operational issues, including what programs you run, what files you access, and your personal activity history.

A centralized mass database of not just user details but user PC's would be the holy grail of hacks, and nothing online could ever be considered unhackable.

Then you need to consider acts-of-god. One accident and 10,000 PC's and people's virtual lives are destroyed at worst in made in accessible at best for an indefinite amount of time.

You could do it and it'd probably be awesome to be able to access from anywhere and run super high powered programs that would take a £10,000 PC to run yourself for a low monthly fee or something, like internet access. But you would lose quite a lot freedom and run quite a lot of risk in so doing.

Centralization makes things much more efficient, but decentralization makes them much safer.

As with most things, a lil of a both are probably a good idea; keep the PC but some things, like games for example, could be turned into virtual services where the processing is done somewhere else and you just get the gameplay. If you can make the wifi efficient enough anyway, but that's improving all the time.

It's an interesting concept anyway.

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Opened Gumtree sometime this afternoon and put some credit onto my phone. Sent out about six texts to various ads asking for viewings. Got two replies and a bunch of places I need to visit to consult with them about available properties to rent in London. Going to look into it and make phone calls tomorrow and doing college work today.


And by doing college work I mean looking like this a lot of the time whilst reading and making a copy of the course materials into a 600 page [so far] word document.

It's so stupid. They have this online website called Moodle. All the college course materials for my certificate in basic policing course are on there, plus several dozen online quizzes which I need to complete in order to pass the course. The rest of the marking criteria consists of exams done from week 5 through to week 10. I aced, by my own surprise due to sleeplessness and flu, the week 5 exam. Got two on Saturday for the week 6 exam.

And basically what I've been doing is opening each annotated presentation, handout, and eWorkbook, as they call them, on Moodle and copying them into a giant word document, which means copy, paste into notepad to shred the website formatting, paste into word and adjust for double returns and bullet points, etc..

After that the online quizzes are simply a matter of reading the question list and using the search function to find the answer in the word document, writing it down and then selecting the right answer from the multiple choice quiz. Easy.

The issue is that copy, paste, adjust for formatting task takes fucking ages and is dull shit.

Granted to get through week 1-4 I basically watched all of 24 whilst copying and pasting, except for those bits where I needed to do the quizzes and revise for the exams, which was fun, but it stills boring as hell.

This course should be taught as activities. Or given to each person in a giant lump that they can search through and read as required to answer questions. This 'do a lot of reading' approach is laborious nonsense.

And the tutor just tells us information that's in the presentations during the 8 hour fucking tutorials as well. Badly presented nonsense I could do without. Exams, OK, but I'd rather spend 8 hours reading the course materials, which I hate doing, than sit there being told what's in the course materials verbally.

Le sigh. Gotta do it if I want to pass the course and get hired though, so only 10 more weeks to go and then I'll be free to review the material as needed for whatever the actual police training will require me to know. Doing it in practise will be a hell've a lot easier for my practical minded brain to absorb than reading it I can tell you that.

I just wish whomsoever wrote my course materials understood the concept of the paragraph because no case study should be a half A4 page of solid text, ye gods.

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I am having a slight issue with the concept of dispute management.

It doesn't seem like you're allowed to express anger even when it's a justifiable emotion. Someone does you wrong and any normal human being should be angry and express it as a signal of behaviour on the part of someone else which isn't acceptable.

But as a policeman it seems the most you can do is state deadpan your point of view to maintain calm in the situation. Logically I can see why, and I'm rarely angry about anything, even in the face of blatant rudeness. I treat events as information and not as emotional generators by default, it's just who I am.

On the other hand, anger serves a purpose in conversation the same way words do; to imply meaning through emotion is as essential as stating information.

I have full right to be angry at the fitness instructor who totally lacked empathy for my situation during my Day 2. But I doubt I would get away with expressing that with my reasoned point of view, especially given that she reprimanded me on the basis that my attitude was off. Her behaviour was unacceptable, and that point should be made, but deadpan delivery doesn't express my point of view, it simply states the facts. She offended me deeply for what she did given the circumstances and anger is the appropriate response. I'm not seeking resolution to the circumstances, I just want to convey that she acted like a right stone cold bitch without actually saying it. I don't care about apologies either. I just need to make sure she hasn't disabled my application, and appeal if she has.

All in all, it's not my methodology I'm questioning here you understand, it's the perspective of those who will be evaluating and training me in law enforcement. I have methods and those methods will probably work, but will they match the marking criteria written by a lesser mind who believes protocol supersedes context?

Will I be failed based on someone's perception, regardless of the effectiveness of my actions? It's happened before, but given the amount of work I'm putting in here I don't want it to happen again.

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In a lighter note: when I become a copper I'll be a constable, or police constable, or PC. I'll be PC Miles. I'll evolve into a computer, lol. They said I could become anything, so I because a personal computer.

And yes, I am such a freaking nerd. xD

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And that's about it.

Got a customer survey from the guys behind TOME: Immortal Arena, and replied with my professional opinion about some aspects of the game. Already wrote about them here and been writing this for an hour and half now so I don't wanna rehash.

I did realize though that the male voice [which is unusual for games which normally go in for female voice actresses] they use during play to announce towers being attacked and things is actually Bruce Campbell, the fucking bas ass mother fucker who played Ash in the Evil Dead franchise.

It's quite possible I'll never forget the line 'Your top tower thingy fell down'. xD

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OH: and I also looked into maybe doing some freelance writing and things.

A helpful human, @JoeThreepwood on Twitter, gave me some tips in that area, like don't work for free, cover games editors don't already know about, like indie titles, and write pitches to send to editors, not whole articles.

Might be an interesting writing sideline to working for the police seeing as I write a hell've a lot anyway [I mean, look at these blog posts], but I don't have time right now seeing as I need somewhere new to live on Monday and have not one but two exams on Saturday.

Right now though I'm starving hungry and want to get a couple more hours of college work done before snooze and going to the doctors tomorrow where they'll hopefully tell me what the blood hell this throat issue is and how to cure it. I need some fucking exercise for crying out loud.

Have a good one.

26/06/2014

On Thursday...

...WAT... :O

Currently somewhere between food coma and oxygen deprivation.

Went to the hypermarket, bought a french stick, a tin of soup, and some crisps, with some premix chicken, bacon n sweetcorn mayo. Then ate quite a lot of all of it between coughing my lungs up cus for some reason the cold air made my lungs fill with fluid.

Can't fucking wait for the doctors on Wednesday when hopefully they'll be able to give me something so I stop coughing when I move about a very short walk.

Used to run 20 miles as a matter of course. Now I wheeze and cough up fluid when I take a short stroll to the hypermarket. Fucking life man, it sucks.

*takes caffeine pills* Leets do dis...

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Listening to Linkin Park's newest album called The Hunting Party, which I had no idea had come out 2 weeks ago. I don't listen to music that often and remember to check to see if the few bands I like have released anything new lately about once every six months, if that. Takes me a few gos to decide if I like it or not, and am usually not impressed by the first play through, and currently I'm thinking this is drivil, but I always think that. I know me...Guilty All The Same sounds pretty cool though...

Need to restore iTunes is what cus without a music equalizer for Rock music just don't sound right.

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Still watching Californication despite what I said, which isn't surprising. What I said was that it was hollow nonsense for stoners, but it grows on ya, and the creators have found their feet now and actually inserting some drama into it around S03-4 where Hank has a lot of relationships and then it comes out he boned a 16 year old and he hits rock bottom.

Wouldn't say it's inspired poetry or anything but it's better than the only other thing I have on my plate at the moment called 'Perception', which is a generic cop show with a twist of neuroscience. *shrug*

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Shaved my face, head and naughty regions this morning.

Face cus I have uber stiff wire beard and it's like termites are trying to eat me if it grows beyond a few millimeters, so beards are out of the question.

Head because otherwise you can see this halo around my head where the tops thinning out and it looks really stupid, and because no hair is best for exercise, although that's a non-issue until I get my lungs sorted out. And

And naughty bits because I hate public hair. It's uncomfortable, it's heating, and chafes. Plus sexual activity is just easier without it in the way. The only issue with this is shaving every 5-6 days results in a sandpaper effect everywhere you shaved. This is cool on the face and scalp, but not so much on your nads. Worth it though in my view.

Each to their own, but I roll with my lawn mowed.

The irony of course is that I'm an ape everywhere else, and have a mane on my upper back which is kinda neat. Excess testosterone is probably why I'm going bald, but also why I'm strong and usually healthy, and I've never liked having hair on my head, so it's all for the best probably.

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What else...

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From my todo list I'm taking some me time today to update my blogs. This post, art assets, URL cleanup, and some programming, which incidentally I'm now blogging about in the Codex Mundus [Book of the World].

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I'm basically rebuilding my games engine and adding in some of the new concepts I've been thinking about for a while, such as base program structure of primary/secondary UI's aaand spherical voxel based environments which can be customized by the user. I'll add those in as soon as I've disemboweled my quaternion based camera perspectives demo which showcases every possible perspective of 2D projected computer games.

Essentially what I'm making here is something between League of Legends and Landmark/Everquest Next which is an evolution of Minecraft.

Notch was a bloody pillock who knew and probably still knows all about programming but didn't and doesn't know games design, Sony are making all the same mistakes he did plus a bunch of new ones as they know graphics but not games design, and Riot Games can suck my cock for their mismanagement of an admittedly great MOBA.

I know more than they do because I'm smarter than they are. They are just luckier than I am which is why they have the money to build this shit.

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What I fucking want more than anything right now is for someone to pay me money to build games so I could build a working prototype of my games thesis and then call these AAA studios and cultural icons a bunch of useless fuckers.

Among the philosophical issues with this notion is this; building the best game of all time, the most efficient, the most fun, the most well crafted doesn't actually mean shit because if and when I do it I'm going to be so pissed that I had to and did it under these circumstances that I'll insult anyone willing to produce it to the point of rejection.

I day dream of being given an award for building the best game of the year or some shit and then smashing it to bits with a hammer or something on stage and calling these people who've never thought about what they're doing properly idiots who have no right to pat me on the back for proving their lack of insight.

A craftsmen, an artisan, a genius doesn't care for the opinions of no-less-men. He only cares about the work. But the fact is:

  • Notch is an idiot and produced shit for kids. But those kids love Minecraft.
  • Sony are a bunch of amateurs and are congratulating each other for their fine work. And people join in because they're the only game in town.
  • Riot are so far up their own ass they're looking out through their own nostrils. And people worship them as despite being assholes their MOBA is the best MOBA available.

That's just it really; these assholes don't know what they're doing, but they're in the position to do it, whereas I know what I'm doing, but no one wants to be shown that their hard work and effort is effectively an elephant's painting compared to a Picasso.

I just hate humanity, and in that special way that only those who actually know how fucking wrong everything is can hate it.

Whatever.

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Tomorrow I need to get on with college work and then look for new acom at the start of next week before doing 2 exams for my certification in policing course on the weekend, and moving into new acom at the start of the following week.

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Skipped the Tribunal today.

I know I made a big fuss over going anyway but I needed a shave, I needed to clean my shit up, I needed some me time, I didn't need to go to a tribunal and try to explain myself to a bunch of assholes who weren't going to believe me in any case.

The whole reason I wanted to cancel the tribunal was to get on with my own nonsense which once taken care of will get me employed with the police.

Taking time out from that in any respect is simply a waste of time. Chillax today, college work tomorrow, not waste time today, chillax tomorrow, and then college work on the weekend.

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Some idiot contacted me about buying my vinyl weights set. Offered me a good price for them and then realized that they were vinyl and said that his mate's set cracked during 80kg deadlift and he got injured. Personally I find this utter nonsense. Had these things three years, used them for all kinds of exercise and never had an issue. Pillock.

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...Thank fuck for that, the caffeine is finally kicking in.

And that's it really.

Cleaning my room and catching up on my laundry, updating my blogs with art and info, looking forward to doctors on Wednesday, college work tomorrow, no specific drama at the moment so long as I can focus and get the job done. Have a look at Codex Mundus for my programming work, please do.

GG.

Have a good one.

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PS: Been trying to work out why I keep swearing and I think it's because I'm subconsciously quite angry over the tribunal fiasco. I'm right, they're wrong, and there's no way I can resolve it in my favor because no one gives a shit.

The thing with me is that my thoughts are logical and walled off from my emotions, so if I'm cogitating substantially I don't feel very much on the surface. My diction however belies that.

When injured I swear sulphurously, not because I mean the words but because the words are tied into my emotions. The logical part of my brain is processing the injury and trying to work out what to do about it, to mitigate and control the pain, etc. Reason and consciousness is latched to the information of my senses. The emotional part of my brain however is feeling pain, and as my diction is latched to my emotions I swear without feeling. My mouth runs but my consciousness isn't associated with what's being said.

Maybe it's because I'm a genius but I've always found that when I'm in one area of my brain - programming, for example, requires logical processing - I'm disassociated with other areas - I hardly ever laugh or feel pleasure because I spend most of my time employing reason for example.

Compartmentalization. Being in the zone. The warrior and the scholar.

I wouldn't say this role mechanism is unique to me, but it is something I'm better at then most people.

Anyway, I was just wondering what the fuck I was pissed off about. Probably the tribunal. Shit happens. Shit passes. It's cool.

Fin.