Sup. Thursday. Few things happened, although little that's a big deal.
Paid rent and things [things being laundry and buying bulk food items] on Monday. Have to relocate hostels again, again, this coming Monday after everywhere else in central London got mysteriously booked solid in it's cheaper beds.
The whether sours, the summer is over, and suddenly where I had no issues of accommodation over the summer, where it cost me about 60 a week for the crappy 'it's somewhere to sleep indoors' accommodation I'm currently staying in, everywhere is now charging 100-130 per week. Mother fucking assholes.
So I'm now moving out of central London into North East and staying in somewhere which is still costing me 10 more than where I was, about 80. Its going to be a pain in the ass to move, but there's no choice, I need the money.
I especially need the money because on Tuesday, got an email from the police recruitment office reminding me that I never handed in some medical documentation to them. Said medical documentation is simply a form which I filled out and my doctor, who I haven't seen, apart from that fucking chest infection, in ten fucking years, signed and is now charging me £30.00 to buy from him, like it was some sort of effort for the bastard to sign off. No discounts for the unemployed either. Bastards. There was a hint though that unless I get my recruitment with the MPS finished soon then they'll cancel my application, so I have to hand it in and this Monday.
So of course, after that I get a phone call from the recruitment office the job center referred me to asking [See: telling] me to come in for my marching orders the following day at 11am. And like I predicted they told me that 4 days a week, 6 hours a day, I need to be doing some sort of ill-defined job skills training course for 8 weeks, and the other day, Monday, I need to check in with their offices.
So in this hand we have the Metropolitan Police Service telling me to hurry the fuck up with my application.
And in this hand we have the Job Center telling me they're here to get me into work whilst taking the time away I need to finish off my certification course and be prepared for training with a job skills training course which is designed for people who have 1/10th my intelligence if that.
Like usual, my life is organizing itself so what should be a fairly easy task - a few quizzes and a 2 hour exam - is neigh impossible because humanity is trying to help me...and people wonder why I hate humans.
The one bright spot is that this doesn't seem all that hard really.
The college work, after a bit of organization, appears to be no more than 1-2 days hard work. 2/3rds of the remaining coursework quizzes were 0-10 questions long, and I did them. The remaining 3 are 25ish each. Then I just need to answer about a dozen questions in the exams, which shouldn't be too hard once I look up the answers and drum them into my abused skull.
I have time for that little work...I think...though that still leaves me behind in the revision of the materials so I know what I'm about on the first day of training.
I'm not at all confident about this job skills training course thingy though. I've done such things before and what they amount to is a lot of busy work without any real guidance.
What's currently got me at a loss though is that I've told the job center, the job recruitment company, and will tell the people teaching this course they're forcing me to do, about my neigh finished certification course and impending training into the police...and no one seems to care or even noticed...
I feel like a man with a doctorate in some complicated subject who has been told that the start date of his new positing is forthcoming but not yet defined and being told by the job center that by government regulation he needs to take GCSE Maths and English, of the grade they teach illiterate immigrants.
5 minuets from victory the people keeping me alive have decided to cause the maximum damage they're able to snatch it away from me...
Normally I would consider it grossly imprudent and unwise, but when I have the start date and it's all settled and paid for until I actually enter training, I'm going to tell that asshole at the job center who calls himself my 'Job Coach' that he's a fucking bastard for trying to screw me over at the finish.
I mentioned previously that I had stripped a gear and gone apeshit at my college course tutor. I did a stupid, stupid thing and replaced that fucking gear. I need to tare it out and go a bit more apeshit, first on this job skills recruitment company and then at the job center.
The thing is that they haven't crossed that line yet. I can still win this if I get the work done. If it looks like I'm going to fail though because of them, I will let them have it. I have to. I won't lose this, not after everything.
...
Lady friend is OK. Sorta.
A week or two back she had a wire inserted into her guts through a thing called a stoma for some syndrome thingy. The wire went too far in and was hurting her so she got permission to pull it out a bit. This made it come out entirely and she got sick again. Got it put back in this week and it's apparently hurting like hell and she's got a fever and her doctor is making a house call today.
She sent me a pic this morning of herself, deathly pale except for flushed cheeks. The picture was cute and her personality is cuddly. I think I'm being toyed with by the universe again.
Last girl I showed real interest in turned out to be a transsexual [though I'm bi, so thats a non-issue] and insane - she is still cyberstalking me and posting messages addressed to me on the Los Angeles division of Craigslist's Missed Connections boards.
Her name is Brooke Lawson, also known as Brooke Leigh, from Press Heart to Continue. That boyfriend of her's is a cover because she's insane. Either she is dating him and...well, I would say fucking with me, but sane people who are fucking with someone else don't post for 4-5 years now I think, messages on an online message board to someone else, or she is lying about dating him and using him as a cover to maintain plausible deniability about any statement I may make [such as this one].
I don't care really. I hate the fact that I can't have my Twitter unlocked and simply be me anymore without that fucking creeper seeing whatever I post and posting on CL about it though. I did care about her and tried to have some sort of friendship and so on with her, but she's too mad to do anything of the sort with me.
So I have a new lady friend...who is ill and will continue to be ill indefinitely because her condition is genetic...like I said, the universe enjoys fucking with me because the only two girls who have shown interest in me as a person rather than as an ambulatory penis were/are ill, in the head and in the body.
I liked them both, but my newer lady friend at least appears to eventually be able to get better and at least talks directly to me instead of by proxy, so it's a step up I guess. Such is my retarded existence.
...
I am now hungry so I think I'm gonna go eat something and then do college work.
Tomorrow I'm going to cover the ongoing development of my thesis come industry journal on games design.
The long and short of that is that I posted on Reddit a link to view the file and some details about my intent and purpose in writing it, and the denizens in the Games Design subreddit reminded me why I don't interact with me so called peers, and hate forums; if you don't run into trolls, you still can't avoid the idiots.
Details to follow.
Good after to you all.
Showing posts with label Doctor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doctor. Show all posts
16/10/2014
28/06/2014
On Saterday...
And so it comes to this.
I woke up this morning not in the mood for being alive.
You ever have mornings like that? Where you just wake up and all of 'You' screams in burning agony that reality exists and you're in it? The unfair part is that I don't drink or take drugs of any kind. I just have a genius brain that goes PING occasionally.
Watched some Californication, which I'm really enjoying now it's got to S06 and the crazy nonsense have turned into mad gold. Then crawled to the hypermarket and bought salad and things. Did food shopping for the next week today basically because I ran out of bread and most of my protein type items. Then came home and ate tortillas and chicken, bacon, sweetcorn mayo on seeded bread until I was full.
Wish I had bought more caffeine than a single tin, but low on funds until Monday so. Some coke would've been a good idea though, and I'm in fact sitting here wondering if going for another walk might be a good idea. Probably not though cus the short walk to the hypermarket and back resulted in my lungs trying to evac from my chest.
Fuck I need a doctor to check these things out before I stop breathing. Fortunately I've got an appointment on Wednesday so.
---
Played a couple of League of Legends matches after foods, and that reminded me why I stopped playing that dam shit.
That's why. I've won that game. Won it and should be worshiped as it's presiding god. But see there? Says 'DEFEAT' in big fucking caps at the top of the screen cus my allies are a bunch of mother fucking idiots who don't defend the fucking towers.
---
Hearthstone too, might be single fucking player but fully half of that shit is pure fucking luck, whilst the other half is how much gods dam coin you've spent on buying 'Cards' made of 1's and 0's.
That sort of bullshit annoys the crap out of me. It's one thing to play a physical game and fork over cash for individual bits as each bit needs designing and manufacturing, but art is dirt fucking cheap and digital distribution of software is becoming prevalent over hard copy cus that shit is stupid cheap, so where the fuck you do you get off charging me 1.99 per 6 pack of cards mother fucker?
---
I did just gain closed beta access to Kixeye's new MOBA called 'TOME: Immortal Arena', as I do sometimes because despite appearances I do keep up with new game releases and sign up for beta's like other people scratch.
Haven't played it yet for about three reasons.
The first is my PC is ageing and needs replacing [ah, the wonders of being terminally unemployable] so I'm not sure if it'd even run that well.
The second is that I tried mother fucking Dawngate and found that Waystone are a bunch of idiots who describe their game as a 'Fast Paced MOBA' when their shit is possibly the most convoluted and lacking in focus game I've ever played. And I don't really feel like going through that shit again.
And the third is I should be doing my college work or at least writing games design on Codex Mundus but given my existential crisis [though it was less questioning my value than questioning this universes] I don't feel much like doing anything.
On TOME though, and Dawngate for that matter, these new MOBAs, especially in the case of Dawngate, are pissing me off quite a bit because their developers are effectively ripping off League of Legends, which currently trumps any MOBA out there in terms of gameplay efficiency in the same way World of Warcraft made everyone it's bitch for a good decade.
---
The issue is that their designers have missed a few fundamental points in the design which are essential not only in League of Legends but in MOBA design in general.
They're a bit nebulous, but if I was going to put a name to a few of them I'd say the following:
In character design they've missed one of the key points of fictional mirroring.
Riot Games have done the same thing with League of Legends; taking that which exists in the geek and nerd zeitgeist and creating an icon of it to resonate with the gaming playerbase.
These new MOBA's haven't grasped that this concept is the best way to design a 'Legend' character roster.
Riot Game's take meme's and turn them into champions and/or skins, like the Bear Cavalry meme and one of Sejuani's skins.
And then they got vampires, ninjas, pirates, a Lich, a Skaven, an armored bear, a Golem, a Naga, and even a Trent. Those bitches got style mother fucker.
The Dawngate and TOME don't have style. DG has a walking tombstone and an anthropomorphic kitters and TOME have a Satyr, but that's about it.
Even the older MOBA's like HoN and DotA 2 don't usually hit the mark in good champion design, choosing, like the newer ones, to pull something out of their ass and miss the mark entirely.
I'm not saying that originality is a bad thing, but if you want to win this lil game you need to strike a cord, make a 'Legend', populate your roster with both fun to play champions [and they'll always be champions, not shapers or guardians or some stupid shit] but also those which stand out.
Surprisingly, but not surprisingly as it's fucking Blizzard, Heroes of the Storm by Blizzard is getting it right with their roster which made of every icon from their uber long running RPG and RTS franchises Warcraft and Starcraft.
That's how you fucking design a MOBA cast, though I admit they had a distinct advantage given that they're drawing on the popularity of their own IP's. All they had to do was identify the most popular characters and go to town.
---
I hear though that they cocked up the storyline in HotS by explaining how the champions work together and why they're fighting in the game's universe as 'It's all magic, trolololol'.
League of Legends ain't perfect, but at least they gave it the ole college try, and I would've expected more from Blizzard. Other MOBA's either phone in their backstory [give it a half-hearted go or try to make it unique and special and producing something totally ignorable] or do what I heard Blizzard did and simply provide an excuse.
Stories in MOBA's are tricky things. The idea behind the game is to produce a strategic combat simulator. But the origins of the MOBA genera are RTS games [Defense of the Ancients, the original MOBA, being a mod for Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos] which are a blending of topdown combat and a campaign story.
MOBA's need a campaign story which supports both the reasons these champions exist, and why they keep fighting on the same field of battle, and why death doesn't mean the champion is dead.
In League of Legends this is because the champions are avatar's for political powers, and on the fields of justice they're merely copies from the physical template of the individual that are under the command of a Summoner.
Makes sense and there's a certain story there that the player can look into which is never really developed or included in the actual client.
Fine, that's sufficient, but if you go beyond that then you're getting into realms of the RPG and it's not really required for your game. You need some sort of setting, but it only needs to cover the system, not be a standalone component of the design.
---
I said above that The Dawngate was slow, and it is, but it's ethos on 'Breaking the Meta' is also responsible for it's massively snow bally matches and lack of gameplay focus. Plus the clarity of the maps is almost non-existent.
Play a match of DG and, after you've chosen a non-iconic champion, you'll enter into a match whereby there is no flow to the gameplay.
League of Legends [as I said, the thing is epically designed so it is my first port of call for a reference, the only real issue is that Riot Games are mismanaging the fuck out of it] you do your pre-match and then you play a match and review it in post-match. Or you choose a champion you want to play in a given role, you play a match in that role, and you're prep and skill determine the outcome.
This process isn't well defined in DG. When I played it I couldn't find the Summoners Rift process of Blue > Wight > Wolves, Red > Wraiths > Golems. There're just monsters all over the place, a big bad in the center of the map, and then alters to consider, and towers, and everyone moves really slowly and BLAAAH...there's no flow to the gameplay.
Towers, alters AND jungling on one map makes each DG match almost as long as as an LoL match for each component, so like 3 times as long easily, but then they made the towers regenerate, the alters recoverable, and added in twice as many monsters on either side of the map as they're are in all of Summoners Rift, the biggest LoL map.
Someone took a good look at LoL and thought, 'that all works really well, so we'll take some of that shit and add in more of it for even more fun'. That's like saying, hey football is a well loved sport on this planet, so let's take it, add in two more goals on the top and bottom of the pitch, and make it so every player has a ball and there're 2 goalies for each goal...oh, and each match goes on until one side is 50 goals above the other side, so if they're evenly matched the game goes on for days, like a game of fucking Quidditch.
Fucking long dull chaos man...or at least it would be as the matches I played usually ended when one side simply snow balled and walked over the opposition.
That sometimes happens in League of Legends, but at least you can see why cus someone cocked up and fed or allowed the other side to feed. It doesn't happen as a matter of bloody course.
I stopped trying to play Dawngate however after I got sick of the lack of map clarity. League of Legends recently announced a redesign of their premier map for clarity in graphical presentation, and the preview screen shots look all kinds of fucking epic. You need to be able to tell whats what and where you're going and what you're doing. It needs to be quick, it's needs to be snappy, and it needs to be efficient.
Dawngate isn't. DotA 2 isn't. I'm not fucking touching HoN. Haven't played HotS yet, but want to. And I might install TOME but I don't think it's going to run properly for me.
And I think I'm about done here. Tired of writing [see inverted existential crisis]. Going to...in fact the name of my games thesis is current League of Legends Redux cus I never got around to changing it before making these blogs, but anyway, I'm going to base my game thesis MOBA on League of Legends cus it's just that fucking good.
---
Right now I'm gonna watch some more Californication and then do some college work at last. Write more nonsense tomorrow and maybe even do some programming plus college work.
Monday I start the search for new accommodation, moving out a week tomorrow. A week today I have 2 exams on my police course so I really must hit the books soonest. Wednesday I go to the fucking doctor for my throat, and hopefully haven't died of whatever it is by then.
Yup.
I woke up this morning not in the mood for being alive.
You ever have mornings like that? Where you just wake up and all of 'You' screams in burning agony that reality exists and you're in it? The unfair part is that I don't drink or take drugs of any kind. I just have a genius brain that goes PING occasionally.
Watched some Californication, which I'm really enjoying now it's got to S06 and the crazy nonsense have turned into mad gold. Then crawled to the hypermarket and bought salad and things. Did food shopping for the next week today basically because I ran out of bread and most of my protein type items. Then came home and ate tortillas and chicken, bacon, sweetcorn mayo on seeded bread until I was full.
Wish I had bought more caffeine than a single tin, but low on funds until Monday so. Some coke would've been a good idea though, and I'm in fact sitting here wondering if going for another walk might be a good idea. Probably not though cus the short walk to the hypermarket and back resulted in my lungs trying to evac from my chest.
Fuck I need a doctor to check these things out before I stop breathing. Fortunately I've got an appointment on Wednesday so.
---
Played a couple of League of Legends matches after foods, and that reminded me why I stopped playing that dam shit.
That's why. I've won that game. Won it and should be worshiped as it's presiding god. But see there? Says 'DEFEAT' in big fucking caps at the top of the screen cus my allies are a bunch of mother fucking idiots who don't defend the fucking towers.
---
Hearthstone too, might be single fucking player but fully half of that shit is pure fucking luck, whilst the other half is how much gods dam coin you've spent on buying 'Cards' made of 1's and 0's.
That sort of bullshit annoys the crap out of me. It's one thing to play a physical game and fork over cash for individual bits as each bit needs designing and manufacturing, but art is dirt fucking cheap and digital distribution of software is becoming prevalent over hard copy cus that shit is stupid cheap, so where the fuck you do you get off charging me 1.99 per 6 pack of cards mother fucker?
---
I did just gain closed beta access to Kixeye's new MOBA called 'TOME: Immortal Arena', as I do sometimes because despite appearances I do keep up with new game releases and sign up for beta's like other people scratch.
Haven't played it yet for about three reasons.
The first is my PC is ageing and needs replacing [ah, the wonders of being terminally unemployable] so I'm not sure if it'd even run that well.
The second is that I tried mother fucking Dawngate and found that Waystone are a bunch of idiots who describe their game as a 'Fast Paced MOBA' when their shit is possibly the most convoluted and lacking in focus game I've ever played. And I don't really feel like going through that shit again.
And the third is I should be doing my college work or at least writing games design on Codex Mundus but given my existential crisis [though it was less questioning my value than questioning this universes] I don't feel much like doing anything.
On TOME though, and Dawngate for that matter, these new MOBAs, especially in the case of Dawngate, are pissing me off quite a bit because their developers are effectively ripping off League of Legends, which currently trumps any MOBA out there in terms of gameplay efficiency in the same way World of Warcraft made everyone it's bitch for a good decade.
---
The issue is that their designers have missed a few fundamental points in the design which are essential not only in League of Legends but in MOBA design in general.
They're a bit nebulous, but if I was going to put a name to a few of them I'd say the following:
In character design they've missed one of the key points of fictional mirroring.
Terry Pratchett's Discworld series [where I live half the time in my head] was so successful because he used the narrative design trick of mirroring the real world in fiction. The Last Continent for example was effectively about Australia, but he called it XXXX [a type of beer], and the content of the story was a reflection of what the idea of Australia is in the zeitgeist, the minds of readers.
Riot Games have done the same thing with League of Legends; taking that which exists in the geek and nerd zeitgeist and creating an icon of it to resonate with the gaming playerbase.
These new MOBA's haven't grasped that this concept is the best way to design a 'Legend' character roster.
Riot Game's take meme's and turn them into champions and/or skins, like the Bear Cavalry meme and one of Sejuani's skins.
And then they got vampires, ninjas, pirates, a Lich, a Skaven, an armored bear, a Golem, a Naga, and even a Trent. Those bitches got style mother fucker.
The Dawngate and TOME don't have style. DG has a walking tombstone and an anthropomorphic kitters and TOME have a Satyr, but that's about it.
Even the older MOBA's like HoN and DotA 2 don't usually hit the mark in good champion design, choosing, like the newer ones, to pull something out of their ass and miss the mark entirely.
I'm not saying that originality is a bad thing, but if you want to win this lil game you need to strike a cord, make a 'Legend', populate your roster with both fun to play champions [and they'll always be champions, not shapers or guardians or some stupid shit] but also those which stand out.
Surprisingly, but not surprisingly as it's fucking Blizzard, Heroes of the Storm by Blizzard is getting it right with their roster which made of every icon from their uber long running RPG and RTS franchises Warcraft and Starcraft.
That's how you fucking design a MOBA cast, though I admit they had a distinct advantage given that they're drawing on the popularity of their own IP's. All they had to do was identify the most popular characters and go to town.
---
I hear though that they cocked up the storyline in HotS by explaining how the champions work together and why they're fighting in the game's universe as 'It's all magic, trolololol'.
League of Legends ain't perfect, but at least they gave it the ole college try, and I would've expected more from Blizzard. Other MOBA's either phone in their backstory [give it a half-hearted go or try to make it unique and special and producing something totally ignorable] or do what I heard Blizzard did and simply provide an excuse.
Stories in MOBA's are tricky things. The idea behind the game is to produce a strategic combat simulator. But the origins of the MOBA genera are RTS games [Defense of the Ancients, the original MOBA, being a mod for Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos] which are a blending of topdown combat and a campaign story.
MOBA's need a campaign story which supports both the reasons these champions exist, and why they keep fighting on the same field of battle, and why death doesn't mean the champion is dead.
In League of Legends this is because the champions are avatar's for political powers, and on the fields of justice they're merely copies from the physical template of the individual that are under the command of a Summoner.
Makes sense and there's a certain story there that the player can look into which is never really developed or included in the actual client.
Fine, that's sufficient, but if you go beyond that then you're getting into realms of the RPG and it's not really required for your game. You need some sort of setting, but it only needs to cover the system, not be a standalone component of the design.
---
I said above that The Dawngate was slow, and it is, but it's ethos on 'Breaking the Meta' is also responsible for it's massively snow bally matches and lack of gameplay focus. Plus the clarity of the maps is almost non-existent.
Play a match of DG and, after you've chosen a non-iconic champion, you'll enter into a match whereby there is no flow to the gameplay.
League of Legends [as I said, the thing is epically designed so it is my first port of call for a reference, the only real issue is that Riot Games are mismanaging the fuck out of it] you do your pre-match and then you play a match and review it in post-match. Or you choose a champion you want to play in a given role, you play a match in that role, and you're prep and skill determine the outcome.
This process isn't well defined in DG. When I played it I couldn't find the Summoners Rift process of Blue > Wight > Wolves, Red > Wraiths > Golems. There're just monsters all over the place, a big bad in the center of the map, and then alters to consider, and towers, and everyone moves really slowly and BLAAAH...there's no flow to the gameplay.
Towers, alters AND jungling on one map makes each DG match almost as long as as an LoL match for each component, so like 3 times as long easily, but then they made the towers regenerate, the alters recoverable, and added in twice as many monsters on either side of the map as they're are in all of Summoners Rift, the biggest LoL map.
Someone took a good look at LoL and thought, 'that all works really well, so we'll take some of that shit and add in more of it for even more fun'. That's like saying, hey football is a well loved sport on this planet, so let's take it, add in two more goals on the top and bottom of the pitch, and make it so every player has a ball and there're 2 goalies for each goal...oh, and each match goes on until one side is 50 goals above the other side, so if they're evenly matched the game goes on for days, like a game of fucking Quidditch.
Fucking long dull chaos man...or at least it would be as the matches I played usually ended when one side simply snow balled and walked over the opposition.
That sometimes happens in League of Legends, but at least you can see why cus someone cocked up and fed or allowed the other side to feed. It doesn't happen as a matter of bloody course.
I stopped trying to play Dawngate however after I got sick of the lack of map clarity. League of Legends recently announced a redesign of their premier map for clarity in graphical presentation, and the preview screen shots look all kinds of fucking epic. You need to be able to tell whats what and where you're going and what you're doing. It needs to be quick, it's needs to be snappy, and it needs to be efficient.
Dawngate isn't. DotA 2 isn't. I'm not fucking touching HoN. Haven't played HotS yet, but want to. And I might install TOME but I don't think it's going to run properly for me.
UPDATE: I tried playing TOME: Immortal Arena after I wrote this. Turns out it's a browser title, quite snappy, no BS, closed beta so a couple of bugs. And I prefer stand alone clients rather than a system built on a system on a system, game > java probably > FireFox, but it was playable and I enjoyed it, so GG.
Few flaws in the UI design, no champion grid, odd rune/mastery champion customization system. On the other hand the auto-buy was nice, the lack of last hitting was actually pretty good even if it makes the gameplay too easy [just cus it's typically annoying, doesn't make it bad games design; some things are difficult, annoying AND fun by way of challenging], plus the stand-out-of-combat-for-HP regen made the gameplay much more efficient.
That's the thing with new MOBA's; everyone wants theirs to be quick and dynamic, but if you make it quicker you make it less complicated. League of Legends has this balance between speed and depth which doesn't diminish either. That's my view anyway.
League of Legends is teh shit. It badly needs some customization of champions and maps. And the ranked system needs seriously fucking rebooting for rewarding individual play rather than team effort cus I'm fucking beyond sick of being demoted cus of ELO Hell and all the fucking noobs. And Riot Games can rot in the hell for being more about the money these days than the craft. But it's the best MOBA out there pro tem.
And I think I'm about done here. Tired of writing [see inverted existential crisis]. Going to...in fact the name of my games thesis is current League of Legends Redux cus I never got around to changing it before making these blogs, but anyway, I'm going to base my game thesis MOBA on League of Legends cus it's just that fucking good.
---
Right now I'm gonna watch some more Californication and then do some college work at last. Write more nonsense tomorrow and maybe even do some programming plus college work.
Monday I start the search for new accommodation, moving out a week tomorrow. A week today I have 2 exams on my police course so I really must hit the books soonest. Wednesday I go to the fucking doctor for my throat, and hopefully haven't died of whatever it is by then.
Yup.
22/06/2014
On Renting...
Sup.
Still Sunday [two in a day, but I missed Saturday due to flagellation...look that shit up bitches] and sometime around mid-afternoon I found enough of me to shower and go to the hypermarket for foods, of which I've not yet eaten cus my flatmates are camping in the kitchen, as usual.
In the meantime I've been looking over the next few days, which are probably going to annoy the ever loving shit out of me.
---
My landlady is expecting £165 tomorrow plus £90 for the next week, or £255.
What I owe is actually £30 less than that as she's charging me £10 more than I care to pay for the room at a rate of £100 a week, when it's worth only £80 according to the council, and I'm paying £90 out of choice because I like living here. It's a cheek anyway because she was charging me £70 when I moved in and we increased it by mutual consent until I dropped it to £90 from £100 once I learned what it was actually worth.
I will only have about £210 available so she's not getting £255. Plus I need to eat this week so £180 is more accurate a figure of what she's getting. Although frankly I'm entertaining thoughts of paying £0.00 and moving everything into storage and paying for a hostel bed until I can move into this £55 a week place [assuming they're fully booked as of now].
---
On the one hand, she's been better than any other landlady or lord I've ever had so I don't want to do that. On the other hand, over charging me for one and half years means she owes me more than that. I'm honest and fair, and if you're not then I make you pay for it.
That's how I deal with people who mess me about. My parents never cared about me, so I stopped caring about them; I just disowned them and left them confused as to why I vanished.
It's so much easier and cleaner to be passive-aggressive than outright aggressive, especially as it's much harder to counter effectively once performed. Sneaky sneaky is always a winner.
---
Besides anything else though my landlady can't do anything to me by law in the time remaining except complain.
To evict me she'd need a court order, which she'd have to pay for and acquire which would take more than 2 weeks. If she blocks my access to the property then I could have her and anyone who assists arrested for theft [taking of my property unlawfully] or assault and battery [prevention of lawful access and physical force to prevent access to the property].
She might not know her rights, evidenced by believing that she's responsible for repairing the kitchen window for example because that is actually the property owner's responsibility, but I know mine.
I don't want to go through all this you understand, but I'm trying to ensure my application to the police goes through, and I need money to do it, and that means my rent is late.
My life sucks ass and in trying to make it suck less, and in so doing someone has to suffer to pay for it. I'm trying to spread that suffering around a bit so no one get's too much. It's just how life works.
---
That said, she gave me this big speech on being hard-done-by, oh we've got a baby, oh we've got bills to pay, my husband has to cover it all cus I'm on holiday [ye gods, what's one of them?], oh our rent is going to be unpaid and we won't have a good reference, WAAA, well...
Is that a wide screen TV I see in your living room? The kid has waaay more toys than I did as a child, even though this was 25 years ago. He has £10 dolls, £50 plastic rideable cars, and a £100 playhouse in the garden. I had trees. You have a fish tank too. I don't have more than 2 sets of shoes. BBQ tonight is it? That's nice. How nice for you that is. I'll be lucky to eat egg for protein this week. That mobile you're using to send me bitchy texts, that a newest model iPhone is it? FUCK.
I hate it when people try to lie to me.
I can tell when people are lying based on the tone of their fucking voice for crying out loud. I'm a fucking epic liar and know all about 'just enough truth to rot the claim to the core whilst keeping it believable' method of lying, and you stand there and give me the hard-up spiel!?
...Good grief...I've learned, oh hells bells have I ever learned. I've learned about assholes and how to play the game of bugger the other bloke, and although she's smarter than I gave her credit for she's got no cards in her hand.
I've not paid my rent on time in the last few weeks because I'm damn used to landlords and landladies trying their best to fuck me over on my way out the door.
She's not got a deposit from me, she's got rent owed from me, and she's got no legal recourse against me to stop me going or claim the money. This keeps her honest. She doesn't dare try to throw me out because she'll get nothing if she does. She doesn't piss me off either in case I go and don't pay up. If I paid her that would let her do whatever she wants. I'm using debt as a power, weakness for control.
No. All she's got is my honesty. Now, that will get her the money for the time I spent here, eventually, but I'm not going to starve or be homeless to do it. Granted for that piece of bull about being hard-up I'm tempted to screw her over as poetic justice, but there's no real need to as she can't boot me out using force by the law so.
Human empathy. Consideration. Care.
It's amazing how these qualities are so lacking in so many so called people, and how the effect bounces around. The property owner doesn't care so my flatmates pay for it, who then bitch at and annoy me but find resistance, who then annoy the property owner by not paying, and around and around we go.
Besides that, it's amazing how people rent property and then lose all interest in it. It's just money. Don't worry who is living there and why, don't worry about building maintenance, don't worry about circumstances or show human consideration to the people living there, it's just money. If it's coming in, gravy, if not, evict em and find someone else who'll pay consistently.
That's landlords in my experience, and I expect most people would say the same. I wouldn't think like that if I had property. I've been on the ass end of that attitude for way too long.
---
What I wanted was to leave her cleanly, all debts settled, all my things in a taxi and moved to my new like-for-like accommodation.
What I have instead is almost the opposite of that.
If I don't kill myself trying to get into the police [this weekend being a near-miss] then maybe my next acom will be like that. I get training pay, I can do the work, I just need this lung issue resolved and about 3 months...and maybe remain calm at my Day 2 appeal because of that bloody fitness instructor's complaint. FUCKING ASSHOLES MAN, that gods dam fitness instructor.
---
Going to go make noodles and pizza and do some cleaning and maybe do a little college work before getting a good nights sleep.
Tomorrow doctors, pay some rent, cancel tribunal, book room at the inn [£55 a week place], maybe move stuff into storage that I don't need ready access to, and write up revision materials for Week 6 exams.
Two exams, writing up the revision materials ASAP so I can spend an hour a day drumming them into my skull for 2 weeks. Then just spend the remainder of the time doing the coursework. My major catch up last week whilst ill got me through most of the work itself but not the quizzes, but those are comparatively short, it's the reading and that which takes up most of the time.
But that's it; move and course/work revise...WELL, except for a couple of bits of information that I was lacking from the Day 2, like the doctors sign health sigh-off signature but that's just errand work.
Once I've been to the doctors and gotten some anti-bios or something for this persistent lung issue I can do college work and exercise no worries. And the extra money from lower rent costs can be used to buy new clothes and things.
---
Was considering if the vent that I've sealed up with duck tape caused my persistent cough. My flatmates have told me about mold in their room and things which has given their kid health issues, so I wonder if the same has impacted my lungs and will only clear up once I've left.
If that's true, and I can find a law which stages that vents are the property owners responsibility than I could sue her for making me sick in a civil suit.
Bit tenuous though that. I'd need to prove that whatever is in my lungs got there from exposure to whatever is living in the flat. This would probably cost more to check than I could get from winning, and might not even have been what is causing it.
I think it's strep personally. Cold air running fed lactic acid to strep bacteria and that's why it flares up when I exert myself and makes it hard to breath due to pneumonia. I need anti-bios to kill it which is why it's not gone and why I got flu recently by trying to power through it.
Probably not the mold here that caused it, even if it's not helping in getting rid of it. I just suspect it since it got bad about 2-3 months ago when the whether changed from winter to summer.
Move and doctors for anti-bios and I should be OK. It was just a bugger with the fitness test, but I got through it anyway.
Watevs...
---
Just give me three months and I should be in fine condition to start training as a copper.
Gonna try anyway.
FOOD. :O <<<
Still Sunday [two in a day, but I missed Saturday due to flagellation...look that shit up bitches] and sometime around mid-afternoon I found enough of me to shower and go to the hypermarket for foods, of which I've not yet eaten cus my flatmates are camping in the kitchen, as usual.
In the meantime I've been looking over the next few days, which are probably going to annoy the ever loving shit out of me.
---
My landlady is expecting £165 tomorrow plus £90 for the next week, or £255.
What I owe is actually £30 less than that as she's charging me £10 more than I care to pay for the room at a rate of £100 a week, when it's worth only £80 according to the council, and I'm paying £90 out of choice because I like living here. It's a cheek anyway because she was charging me £70 when I moved in and we increased it by mutual consent until I dropped it to £90 from £100 once I learned what it was actually worth.
I will only have about £210 available so she's not getting £255. Plus I need to eat this week so £180 is more accurate a figure of what she's getting. Although frankly I'm entertaining thoughts of paying £0.00 and moving everything into storage and paying for a hostel bed until I can move into this £55 a week place [assuming they're fully booked as of now].
---
On the one hand, she's been better than any other landlady or lord I've ever had so I don't want to do that. On the other hand, over charging me for one and half years means she owes me more than that. I'm honest and fair, and if you're not then I make you pay for it.
That's how I deal with people who mess me about. My parents never cared about me, so I stopped caring about them; I just disowned them and left them confused as to why I vanished.
It's so much easier and cleaner to be passive-aggressive than outright aggressive, especially as it's much harder to counter effectively once performed. Sneaky sneaky is always a winner.
---
Besides anything else though my landlady can't do anything to me by law in the time remaining except complain.
To evict me she'd need a court order, which she'd have to pay for and acquire which would take more than 2 weeks. If she blocks my access to the property then I could have her and anyone who assists arrested for theft [taking of my property unlawfully] or assault and battery [prevention of lawful access and physical force to prevent access to the property].
She might not know her rights, evidenced by believing that she's responsible for repairing the kitchen window for example because that is actually the property owner's responsibility, but I know mine.
I don't want to go through all this you understand, but I'm trying to ensure my application to the police goes through, and I need money to do it, and that means my rent is late.
My life sucks ass and in trying to make it suck less, and in so doing someone has to suffer to pay for it. I'm trying to spread that suffering around a bit so no one get's too much. It's just how life works.
---
That said, she gave me this big speech on being hard-done-by, oh we've got a baby, oh we've got bills to pay, my husband has to cover it all cus I'm on holiday [ye gods, what's one of them?], oh our rent is going to be unpaid and we won't have a good reference, WAAA, well...
Is that a wide screen TV I see in your living room? The kid has waaay more toys than I did as a child, even though this was 25 years ago. He has £10 dolls, £50 plastic rideable cars, and a £100 playhouse in the garden. I had trees. You have a fish tank too. I don't have more than 2 sets of shoes. BBQ tonight is it? That's nice. How nice for you that is. I'll be lucky to eat egg for protein this week. That mobile you're using to send me bitchy texts, that a newest model iPhone is it? FUCK.
I hate it when people try to lie to me.
I can tell when people are lying based on the tone of their fucking voice for crying out loud. I'm a fucking epic liar and know all about 'just enough truth to rot the claim to the core whilst keeping it believable' method of lying, and you stand there and give me the hard-up spiel!?
...Good grief...I've learned, oh hells bells have I ever learned. I've learned about assholes and how to play the game of bugger the other bloke, and although she's smarter than I gave her credit for she's got no cards in her hand.
UPDATE: 00:33, 23/06/14: Ya know, I thought about it some and realized that they probably have savings. I mean, how stupid would you need to be to go around buying things like widescreen TV's and not keep a few hundred aside for emergencies.---
I don't cus I live week to week, but these guys have their own apartment so surely they've got enough to cover it. And she gives me the hard-up speech? Pff.
Tomorrow when I go to the bank I'm just going to pay a reasonable amount, probably 2 weeks at £90, and use the rest to arrange the new acom and that.
If she asks me why I've not paid in full, start with 'Because I didn't get it all back from the buggers who took it out last week', then onto 'It's in your own interests to wait for the rest next week' and finally 'Look, according to UK law you can't evict me without a court order, and you won't get one in 7 days, and if you try it's technical theft and you can be arrested'.
Precise run down of the situation from my perspective; either she buys my extended technically true lie, the fact that if she evicts me she'll get nothing more, or the abject fact that she literally can't evict me without being arrested for trying.
I've not paid my rent on time in the last few weeks because I'm damn used to landlords and landladies trying their best to fuck me over on my way out the door.
She's not got a deposit from me, she's got rent owed from me, and she's got no legal recourse against me to stop me going or claim the money. This keeps her honest. She doesn't dare try to throw me out because she'll get nothing if she does. She doesn't piss me off either in case I go and don't pay up. If I paid her that would let her do whatever she wants. I'm using debt as a power, weakness for control.
No. All she's got is my honesty. Now, that will get her the money for the time I spent here, eventually, but I'm not going to starve or be homeless to do it. Granted for that piece of bull about being hard-up I'm tempted to screw her over as poetic justice, but there's no real need to as she can't boot me out using force by the law so.
Human empathy. Consideration. Care.
It's amazing how these qualities are so lacking in so many so called people, and how the effect bounces around. The property owner doesn't care so my flatmates pay for it, who then bitch at and annoy me but find resistance, who then annoy the property owner by not paying, and around and around we go.
Besides that, it's amazing how people rent property and then lose all interest in it. It's just money. Don't worry who is living there and why, don't worry about building maintenance, don't worry about circumstances or show human consideration to the people living there, it's just money. If it's coming in, gravy, if not, evict em and find someone else who'll pay consistently.
That's landlords in my experience, and I expect most people would say the same. I wouldn't think like that if I had property. I've been on the ass end of that attitude for way too long.
---
What I wanted was to leave her cleanly, all debts settled, all my things in a taxi and moved to my new like-for-like accommodation.
What I have instead is almost the opposite of that.
If I don't kill myself trying to get into the police [this weekend being a near-miss] then maybe my next acom will be like that. I get training pay, I can do the work, I just need this lung issue resolved and about 3 months...and maybe remain calm at my Day 2 appeal because of that bloody fitness instructor's complaint. FUCKING ASSHOLES MAN, that gods dam fitness instructor.
---
Going to go make noodles and pizza and do some cleaning and maybe do a little college work before getting a good nights sleep.
Tomorrow doctors, pay some rent, cancel tribunal, book room at the inn [£55 a week place], maybe move stuff into storage that I don't need ready access to, and write up revision materials for Week 6 exams.
Two exams, writing up the revision materials ASAP so I can spend an hour a day drumming them into my skull for 2 weeks. Then just spend the remainder of the time doing the coursework. My major catch up last week whilst ill got me through most of the work itself but not the quizzes, but those are comparatively short, it's the reading and that which takes up most of the time.
But that's it; move and course/work revise...WELL, except for a couple of bits of information that I was lacking from the Day 2, like the doctors sign health sigh-off signature but that's just errand work.
Once I've been to the doctors and gotten some anti-bios or something for this persistent lung issue I can do college work and exercise no worries. And the extra money from lower rent costs can be used to buy new clothes and things.
---
Was considering if the vent that I've sealed up with duck tape caused my persistent cough. My flatmates have told me about mold in their room and things which has given their kid health issues, so I wonder if the same has impacted my lungs and will only clear up once I've left.
If that's true, and I can find a law which stages that vents are the property owners responsibility than I could sue her for making me sick in a civil suit.
Bit tenuous though that. I'd need to prove that whatever is in my lungs got there from exposure to whatever is living in the flat. This would probably cost more to check than I could get from winning, and might not even have been what is causing it.
I think it's strep personally. Cold air running fed lactic acid to strep bacteria and that's why it flares up when I exert myself and makes it hard to breath due to pneumonia. I need anti-bios to kill it which is why it's not gone and why I got flu recently by trying to power through it.
Probably not the mold here that caused it, even if it's not helping in getting rid of it. I just suspect it since it got bad about 2-3 months ago when the whether changed from winter to summer.
Move and doctors for anti-bios and I should be OK. It was just a bugger with the fitness test, but I got through it anyway.
Watevs...
---
Just give me three months and I should be in fine condition to start training as a copper.
Gonna try anyway.
FOOD. :O <<<