Articles

Showing posts with label Strep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Strep. Show all posts

30/06/2014

On Trying...

Evening.

---

Writing this inside Google's Chrome browser instead of FireFox cus I was curious to see which ran better [security isn't really an issue for me, it's getting people to NOTICE me that's the bloody trick] and it did, especially TOME: Immortal Arena, the current MOBA game I'm playing, so I decided to swap to this for now.

Easy enough seeing as Google were smart enough to import all my bookmarks and things from FireFox and included the bookmark tab bar which I use all the time. Missing the drag to scroll extension I have in FireFox sometimes, but this thing works better so, suits me.

---


I'm a goat and just blew up a gas station with an axe...stuck...to...my...tongue... ._. ...*commits suicide*

That's it, he says from beyond the grave, there is no hope left for humanity.

Some people aspire to make whole virtual worlds as computer games where people can almost live inside mystical lands of pure joy and imagination...and then some people make buggy trippy goat simulators and find out that what people really want in a game is to be a goat who wrecks human society with an dexterous mouth appendage.

This is why we can't have nice things. >.<


You know you've seen waaay too much Californication when you find this funny. xD


Found today that I have matching holes in my trainers, and you could say that it's solidarity between those under the heel of the oppressor. :P #suchanerd

---

In darker news; I'm in another fucked up situation [these things are weekly events in my universe].

Got £140 in job seeker benefits this morning and I'm getting another £160 on Monday, leaving me a little less than £300 to cover my new acom costs. I owe my landlady, as of Monday next, £200. I need between £210 and £240 to pay for the deposit and a weeks rent on new accommodation. So either I can pay all the rent I owe here and have nothing to pay for my new living conditions. Or I can pay nothing here and rip my landlady off and have somewhere to sleep next Monday.

Gotta love life eh?

I could probably pay most of what I owe and stay in a hostel, but that's a living death and I'd rather piss her off than go doing that again.

So she's buggered as I need to pay for somewhere to sleep, but asides from not wanting to do it to her, I also might not get away with it because she might at least try to kick me out in the next seven days. It would still be a dam stupid thing to do as she'd miss out on any chance of getting £200 in rent, but she could do it and leave me up shit creek.

I wonder if coppers need to be good liars because I've had more than a little practise. Fortunately it's not hard to sell the lie really as I've waited a week or two before paying my rent in full before so saying that and 'I'll settle up when I go' isn't that odd for me.

I just don't have a better option right now, so this is the way it's going to be. Regret and sorrow are for those who don't get shit on by humans on a weekly basis, however. I don't feel much of anything about the situation [thank the fucking hell for that], I'm just doing whatever I can to keep afloat until I finish my college course and get hired by the police [assuming that fitness instructor didn't blow that shit up with her complaint, but I should be able to appeal it if she does...for crying out fucking loud humanity].

---

Sent the seventh or eighth letter to the student loans company about section 4 of my 24+ Student Loan application, giving them the same information those assholes have already been given by me AND confirmed on their own system.

I'm allowed the fucking loan, but they needed a copy of the form with the boxes checked, and sent me a letter with the request and my details on it and everything. So I went to the library, printed off the relevant page, three fucking times mark you, filled out each and sent it back to em with a message saying 'Process it in 2 weeks or it's time for the lawyers'.

I don't see why this shit was so fucking hard to get done, I really don't.

---

Dropped about half a dozen pairs of jeans off at a heart health charity shop as I couldn't sell them and am in no mood to try. Got thanked much for the donation [it was just jeans people, wow] and ran away. I just didn't know what the fuck else to do with em. *shrug*

Never buying wholesale shit again and trying to sell it. I'm a magus, not a merchant. I couldn't sell a glass of water to a desert dweller, though I could probably tell him where he is and what type of sand he's standing on after a while.

---

Downloaded The Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne, which is meant to be in the same genre as one of my favourite audiobook series called The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher.

I get the impression that it's a bit mediocre as these things go, but I saw it years ago when the first one came out and, as I apparently don't ever forget things I don't forget on purpose which will later come back to bite me in the ass, I'm curious about it now.

Going to finish off the last few of The Watch novels, a sub-series in The Discworld Chronicles by Terry Pratchett, to round up my umpteenth listen of all 40 odd Discworld novels, and then give it a go.

---

I've got this picture of this A-List celebrity called Maggie Grace on my desktop, who's this goddess blond chick who played the love interest in S06 of Californication, and the teenage sister in Lost.

Beautiful women, but usually I ignore celebrities because they tend to be the modern equivalent of aristocrats; elite social society who're totally out of touch with the common troll in the street due to their wealth, fame, and socialist life style.

Occasionally though I get interested in the buggers because sometimes they turn out to be real human beings who're just incidentally uber famous and have actually have some genuine talent.

James Spader for example. I've seen a shit ton of media in my time and the way he acts and the parts he plays makes him something special in the field. Don't know about him in her personal life, bar what's on Wikipedia, but the guy can fucking act man. Peter Dinklage too. That guys a fucking legend for his work in Game of Thrones.

Anyway, my point here was that Maggie Grace's Twitter stream is filled with quotes and things...fuck, actually here and now they seem like pretentious nonsense, like most quotes really.

People take the statements of the professionally witty, remove them from their context and use them to make some abstract point no one except for them really understand. Or they end up sounding like a motivational poster, and I hate that shit. Those are the modern equivalent of 'Hang In There Baby' cat posts, and just as empty and meaningless.

SHE'S FUCKING HOT, that's my point. She's hot and for a moment I thought she might be intelligent but it's more likely that she's just a pretender, like the rest of her actor ilk.

---

I keep checking out Craigslist Los Angeles missed connections for these posts being made by this closet-transsexual girl called Dodger who is a vlogger from YouTube [most of them are being posted by her, and you'll see it after a while of reading them that they all share a similar theme and structure] who I'm beyond in love with [the type of love that the sight of them makes your melt into a puddle, where they can do no wrong, and you'd eat your own arms to touch them with a toe] and is, in case you haven't gathered, a mad as a spoon.

She posts on there due to crippling social-anxiety which prevents her from having normal relationships, or maybe she's just trying to fuck with me, I've never quite clarified that really.

Point is that I'm never going to email her ever again, but I do check it from time to time. Not entirely sure why really. Probably out of 'love', but that shit is toxic and so's she so I'm staying far away from her for my own benefit. It's not a healthy situation, and she's not mentally healthy. Doesn't stop me feeling how I do, but just because the poison tastes nice doesn't mean you should drink it.

I want someone to love and be with, but I'm too damaged, too much of a freak, too intelligent in the wrong way to ever achieve that. It's just nice to think that someone out there desires my company and is on my side sometimes, even if they should be institutionalized for being terminally batshit.

[This is one of those things that you shouldn't try to contact me about...if I put contact details anywhere on this site anyway...because I know what the truth is, and that's all that matters. I have nothing to prove here.]

---

SOHYEH: swapped to Chrome over FireFox, teehee, ripping off my landlady so I have somewhere to sleep, student loan companies are fucking annoying [if I owed them money they'd be on my ass like fireants], selling shit is hard, listening to the Iron Druid Chronicles after The Discworld, Maggie Grace is hawt, and I'm still playing TOME. Also gotten used to the new Linkin Park album, The Hunting Party, and quite enjoying it now.

Going to get some sammitches and eat some fruit and then do college work for five hours.

I've sent out a bunch of emails to various leasers but they probably won't reply to them. Gotta put some credit on my phone tomorrow and start calling people.

When I went out today I didn't cough as much as I thought I would, but I do think it's a bad case of strep because when I exerted myself [which is pretty dam easy because I've not gotten any exercise in weeks] I started coughing my guts up, so I expect anti-bios will be able to take care of it.

Doctors. Wednesday. GG.

And that's it; college work, searching for acom. Day 1

Post again tomorrow.

Good evening.

10/06/2014

On Minds...

Sup, it's 00:44 Tuesday, I've just finished running, and thought of a couple of things I wanted to blog about so I'm taking care of Tuesday's post now.

---

Firstly, yup, went running.

Ten minuets in I could barely draw breath. It wasn't gradual either. Runni-jogging, jogging just fine and then it was like trying to breath through glue in all of thirty seconds. Walked for 20-30 minuets and got to the Hospital ER, which is on my longer running route anyway, and tried to see a doctor. 40 minuets or so later and I was breathing normally at rest. It's like cold activated pneumonia, if pneumonia is what I think it is and is fluid in your lungs as a response to cold.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pneumonia/pages/introduction.aspx

...In fact, if I'm reading this right, I've had pneumonia caused by a streptococcus infection.

Go running in the cold night air, generate lactic acid, this causes me to get low grade pneumonia, which I fight against as I do with strained muscles. The strep fed off the lactic acid and infected my bronchial tubes, giving me a wicked cold for a few days and then settling down into bad tasting coughs. I haven't been eating and sleeping right and stopped running, so I've not had the white blood cells to kill it. After I killed the bacteria with a better diet and the new meds I've just started taking, the cold air tonight just made the pneumonia flare up which made me choke for half an hour tonight.

Bad diet, lack of sleep, dust in my room, running in the cold, and not taking meds which attacked the bacteria in my lungs. That's why I've been low grade ill for a good two months.

Idiot. I should notice this shit by now. I'm meant to be intelligent. Keep taking Benylin, eat more, sleep at night, run to invigorate my blood's resistances and I should be fine. Dumb ass.

ALSO: Maybe get a flu shot from now on designed to resist strep. I don't want this happening again.

---

OK, secondly, when I was in the Hospital ER a girl came in from a car crash badly shaken up.

There were two things about this for me personally.

The first was good; empathy. I wanted to help her and felt sorry for her on reflex. I know about bad injuries.

I've cracked my skull open in two places at the same time, shredded my left bicep, damaged my knee caps, and shattered my left wrist in my time, plus broken both my legs in my teens [not at the same time], and crushed both my toe nails.

These days a car crash would've been an invigorating experience for me instead of requiring therapy like that girl will probably need.

Advised her to put her head down when she said she felt dizzy to help clear it, but that's all I could do for her.

I think if I can respond to road traffic accidents with the same need to help and care about the victims in the same way but actually be able to be the first response assistance and do some real good, I should do just fine as a copper.

The second though was...I don't know what to make of the second to be honest. The girl was young and attractive. And lately I've been rather interested in others.

Fun fact, I'm bisexual, which basically means an attractive girl or guy is perfectly acceptable as a sexual partner. Not that I've ever had any you understand.

People with my intellect find it hard to relate to others, and people with my background of social abuse find it hard to like and trust others. Empathy, care, consideration for others, those are reflexive, but for me, I need to feel something for someone else before I could let them touch me and touch them back.

And the combination of feeling something for someone and actually liking and trusting them and getting the same in return has just never happened for me. I don't expect it to really, but that doesn't stop your automatic urges from kicking in when you see something that makes you horny.

She, the girl in shock, was attractive and needy and just a part of me was thinking 'help, protect, gain trust of, fuck and make babies'. I've had girls present themselves naked to me and try to get in my pants before and that's the same voice I heard and ignored then, but it's slightly disgusting that it activated in response to a girl in shock after a car crash.

Cave man at heart I might be, protect the young and the womenfolk I might believe in at my core, but ye gods, time and a place.

Last Saturday on the way to college for example, hot girl with big melons rushes giggling by me, I stared openly and made her blush [don't like it, wear a sweater or something lady], but in an ER like that, down boy, seriously, down.

I like Mr. Brain who replied with 'Oh that poor young girl, we must do what we can to ease her suffering'. The part that wanted to assist so we could get in her pants, not so much really.

Yes, dear reader, I am that honest. I know what is and what isn't and what the difference is, as that's all that counts at the end of everything, knowing.

I know what I am, and because of this I'm better than other people who do what they do because they don't think they have a choice. There's always a choice. Even if the only thing you want in the whole world is to do this thing right now, you can choose not to. You don't have to do anything, or not do anything. But only those who realise they have an option can take it. And I do.

---

Getting tired now so I'll wrap this up with this: gotten to the terrorism section of my certificate in basic policing college course, and suicide bombers are hair on fire raving madmen.

'How beautiful it is to kill and to be killed...for the lives of the coming generations'.
- Mohammed Al-Ghoul, June 18th 2002

How freaky insane do you have to be to believe that?

Destruction of any kind is a failure. Yours because you failed the humanity test and shamed your species by destroying the effort of labor of your peers. And someone else for never teaching you that to destroy the work of anyone is a corruption of the very principle that makes you a human being.

We are a tool using species, creators one and all, and if you use this gift of intelligence to burn the world then it only goes to show that you're a monster, worse than animal who doesn't know any better and still doesn't actively hunt and kill it's own species for an imaginary friend.

If there is a God, Allah or anyone beyond the veil responsible for this mess, I hope that He patiently teaches these creatures why what they did was such a betrayal of their own existence.

If not...well, that explains why it happened in the first place really.

---

Gods dam it, YES, also worked out emergency accommodation for when I move out of my current residence if I can't find anywhere else to live.

I stayed in a hostel a few years ago for more than a year. Low cost, weekly rent, good location, in the same borough I'm in right now.

Since I stayed there last they dropped their rent by about 20 a week whilst only renting beds for weeks at a go too. Move in and stay there pro tem until I find another privately rented room to transfer to.

At around 3/5ths what I'm currently paying in rent I'll have extra money for travel and that too so no worries.

Focus on getting my college work done and I shouldn't have any issues with the exam. Pass that and my Day 2 whilst staying in this inn of sorts and become a police constable on full time pay.

Those are the main things: somewhere to sleep and employment.

---

ALRIGHT, DONE, FINISHED, going to sleep.

Doing college work tomorrow, collecting papers and forms on Wednesday whilst checking in with the job center and cancelling that fucking Tribunal and making arrangements to repay housing benefit I was entitled to.

Thursday > Sunday focus on getting my college work done.

Monday get stuff into storage via taxi that I don't need in the Inn. Then college work, including exam revision until the 20th when I have my Day 2, and the 21st when I have my week 5 exam.

Somewhere in all of that try to find new acom and move out before the 20th for preference.

I might actually be able to sort this fucking mess out actually...

GG then.