All Sorted Out...

Feels like it's been a fairly busy three or four days, but it hasn't really, it's just been a lot of traveling interspersed by periods of heavy thinking.

…Damn…looking over my last post I was about two steps from going totally bananas. I’m doing a lot better now. It’s fine.

After I got my claim transferred to my local job centre I was removed from the full time employability skills course. This is to say that my last advisor hasn’t contacted me about not attending it and my current advisor signed me on Wednesday so providing my money is in my account on Monday then there shouldn’t be any issue.

I’ve also handed in all the evidence required to my local housing benefits office to get my claim transferred from the previous housing office to this new one. I’m not entirely happy about this as they said it would take two weeks to process and that’s more time than I have until I need the money to pay my rent at this hostel, but it’s one of those cross checks. Every time they go to pay your housing benefit they check your address with the job centre’s records, and if the two don’t match it isn’t paid.

So yeah, everyone is updated with all the evidence they need and the new job centre isn’t trying to put me on any type of employability skills program here so I have all the time I need to get my revision done for my exam on the 08/11/14.

On the other hand it’s a 50/50 bet if I’ll get my JSA on Monday and my HB on the following Monday. All I can do is get up early and check first my bank and then the offices to find out if there are any issues and if I can get the money that day because the hostel I’m staying in won’t take ‘I’ll have it in a few days’ for payment. ‘No credit’ is literally splattered across the walls of the reception area so…we’ll see what happens come Monday.

For now I’ve gotten plenty of rest, rebuilt my sanity from something like sand to, if not rock, then at least gravel, so I’m not longer giggling like a crazy thing and my left eye hasn’t twitched since I was at the housing office on Tuesday.

Still haven’t sent the bloody medical forms to the MPS. Sorting out the JSA and HB cost me too much in bus fare so there was not enough left to get to my doctors AND pay for the forms.

On the upside, this means that I’ve got plenty of cash to buy food and that with, not that I need it after a super cheap veggie run at a local Morrisons [seriously, those guys are selling veggies at ½ the cost of Sainsburys and Tescos, it’s amazing].

On the downside, I’ve told them I’ll send it to them every Monday for the past three weeks and failed every time because of costs of moving acom, and then that fucking employability skills course being three hours down the road. Next Monday I’ve got bank fees which takes away the money I need, followed the week after by the fees for my resit exam. So two weeks Monday [assuming everything remains stable] is when I’ll be able to actually fucking pay for and send them.

The fact that the forms are basically nothing more than a guy’s signature that confirms I’m in perfect health [not that the Doctor even fucking CHECKED to make sure I was] just pisses me off even more.

Anyway, point is that here and now and until Monday morning I don’t really have any issues [about four days], apart from waking up this morning feeling horrible.

I think the heat in the dorm I’m staying in messed with my thyroid or something because I spent a couple of hours radiating heat from my skin like a patio heater. Didn’t feel too bad after I went out and got a can of Monster caffeine, but you could’ve cooked a side of bacon on my bald head.

Then spent way too long playing Hearthstone after I worked out a somewhat epic build for the Hunter class and was able to get from lv20 [entry] up to lv16. Currently at lv17 because it’s more or less the luck of the fucking draw if you get a good hand or not and I tend to lose about 45% of my matches through bad hands and opponent lucky ones.

Today was the first bit of real morning relaxation I’ve had in a couple of weeks though so I earned it I think.

Just writing this and then going to grab some lunch next. After that I’m gonna add a bit more to my book on computer games design before either doing some revision, or going to have a shower and then doing revision, one of those.

I’m really liking the work I’m doing in my computer games design book actually.

I’ve structured the content in just the right way so as to explain the basic skeletal structure of computer games and then explain in detail the flesh which can be selected to hang from it for the gameplay.

It’s still in the very early stages but what I’ve done so far isn’t just correct but also right, in some fundamental way.

Still need to rewrite the introduction and things though so it’s less ‘raving madman who’s one step from committing his first homicide’ and more ‘professional erudite scholar of computer games design’.

The content still has an edge to it that implies that if you don’t understand what I’ve written then you have no fucking business designing a computer game, but hey, that’s what makes it good.

I’m no elitist, I don’t care who studied what and where, but I don’t tolerate fools and the industry is full of them.

I’ll write it. I’ll call the readers idiots on every other page. And then when said idiots take offence, I’ll enjoy [in my sick and perverted way of thriving on ‘The Fight’] laughing at their ire. I’m a fucking genius morons, and you are not. I am right, and you are wrong. Just because that’s a fact doesn’t mean you get to be angry about it.

No, it’s not the right fucking professional way to go about doing business with a lot of people, but it is the way someone abused and ignored for three decades takes his small revenge on the masses; being a passive aggressive dick whilst also being uncontestably right about everything everyone else gets wrong.

Fuck everyone. The last couple of weeks have taught me one simple fact; if I want to get anywhere in life then someone else is going to have to pay for it. In time, energy, money or simple fury, someone else is going to have to cough up if I want to rise because otherwise people will just keep shitting on me. And enough is ENOUGH.

Clawing out my insides with hunger right now so wrapping this up. Still listening to Papa Roach. Still enjoying it immensely, especially Alive [N Out of Control]. Wanna go get some exercise today but probably tomorrow because my vision just went funny [seriously fucked up morning]. Watching ‘How to Get Away with Murder’ which is surprisingly interesting for its pacing and content flashing backwards and forwards like it does.

OH: Stopped talking to that lady friend of mine. One day last week she started telling me about a friend of hers that just released a computer game into the market, and then about it’s bad reviews.

So you’re telling me, whilst I’m currently more angry than I’ve been in my entire life, about someone with the money to do the thing I’m best at in the world who released a whole actual game who fucked it up.

Yeah, we’re not friends anymore. I mean, I don’t need people, I really don’t, and at a time when I’m hating them more than usual this person stabs me in the heart without even realizing.

Plus her medical issues have gotten worse and don’t appear to be getting better any time soon. Plus after I stopped making efforts to contact her she didn’t make any effort to contact me.

I want sex. I want someone around, actually around, not just online, who can provide me real help and interaction who doesn’t piss me off. Who isn’t a fucking moron.

I don’t need it though. Hell, I don’t think right now is even the right time for that kind of thing given the work I need to get done. It’s just a distraction that messes with my head and emotions. But it’s also a base desire of being a human.

I want sex. And having someone around might be handy and make me feel good, and I can help them and care for them too.

The issue is that anything the same shape as myself causes me nothing but headaches and raised blood pressure. Humans are the enemy. There isn’t one in existence who would be a partner to me, only a trusted enemy who I would have to fucking babysit most of the time to curb their stupidity. A drag. A weight. Another problem.

It’s just the way it is. Better off alone...but I want sex.

Fucking humans man. Fuck being one too.

Anyway, getting edibles…

Sexy Beast and Womennip...

Good afternoon. :P

Busy busy. Got home yesterday after the library after nearly telling me lady friend that I haz a crush on her [I didn't because it's dumb] but decided to just leave it alone because neither of us can act on it.

Was so tired and hungry that I forgot that I still had laundry to dry and new bedding to lay before I could sleep. Went out whilst the drier was going and bought some jooce and got hit on by a dirty haired blond lady in Tescos.

Then woke up this morning and found out that the communal showers in the new hostel are occupied by guys who have no issue stripping entirely naked before showering, so I tried not to stare at three twenty something entirely naked toned athletic wet guys strolling around...I'm bisexual...naked young dudes...they were wondering why I was embarrassed and thankfully didn't put 2 and 2 together. That was a fun shower though, hehe.

Then went to McDonalds for breakfast after KFC turned out to be closed for refit. Got food, sat down, and realized that I was being eyed up by an elegant blond women with rather epic funbags 2 seats down, which was made plane when she asked me a really obvious question and waited for me to introduce myself. I didn't though because I meant what I said - I'm focusing on work and not having any more relationship drama right now - but damn it, why am I such sexy catnip to these people? xD

Nooo, I know what I want and it won't be found by picking up a passing stranger in a hostel or fast food joint. Still not entirely sure if it's my sexy hospitalized female friend yet though...whatever, I have work to do.

Came to library after that and currently trying to download some more audiobooks and iTunes...why am I downloading iTunes...I know there was a good reason but I can't remember what it was...

Also posted on Reddit a request in the favor forums to access someone's wifi to download Hearthstone and a few other things onto my new laptop because it uses P2P protocols to download and update which are blocked by most public wifi hotspots.

A mod then PMed me asking if I was after someone's wifi to download pirated software. Of course I am, uTorrent could replace all my paid for and lost media sitting on my broken computer and I was asking for access to download Hearthstone as cover. But shit, I wrote my post specifically defining that I wanted Hearthstone, a game, and this guy had no business jumping to that conclusion.

I called him an idiot for not reading my post properly and another mod said 'Cool. You're gonna play like that, please ask elsewhere'. My thoughts on that sentence right there are: arrogance and petty asshattery, thy name is forum mod. I hate everyone in that job role more than most other human beings.

Anyway, I can't for the life of me think of how to access the free web unfettered by fucking blocks so Im resorting to the filth of the internet and download Netflix to see if, once downloaded, I can watch movies and TV for 6-7 quid a month. It's better than nothing.

LOL, I love the hubris of big companies like Google/YouTube. They spend probably millions on putting in place a download lock so FireFox add-ons can no longer download videos. So in about 2-3 minuets I download a plug in for FireFox, from FireFox's own website, which disables it and download a music video in HD onto my laptop to listen to offline. xD

Idiots.

Their company may be big, it may be worth millions or even billions of any major first world currency, and they might have all the power in the world, but if ya fucking userbase wants to do something against your TOS, then you might as well not even bother trying to stop them, because they will do it and make your IT department look like fucking amateurs whilst they're about it. ;D

...Alright, so half the point is that I'm a geek and a lot of their users aren't and not everyone is going to walk past it or even Google the solution, but it seems fairly pointless to tech savvy me.

YA KNOW, I was meant to be getting my college work done today. Its now 18:19, the library closes in an hour and a half and it's not even entered my head to go and actually do some work. -.- #idiot

Got an uber run tomorrow and I never make it to the library afterwards so I won't get any work done then either. So stupid.

Alright, I'm gonna go focus on getting something productive done instead of browsing Reddit and downloading things.

Before I go though, I fucking hate Audible, the online retailer of cheap audiobooks.

I found a credit for an audiobook on one of my Audible accounts and decided to grab Tricked, book 4 of the Iron Druid Chronicles, seeing as I've been listening to books 1-3 for a few months and would love to hear no4.

From the get go it didn't sound right, the voices were off, but I read somewhere that they had switched publishers so I waited it out and tried to enjoy it anyway, planning to see if there was a higher quality copy available online later when I have full access to the internet. After cringing at Oberon's altered doggie voice and Granuaile sounding like an epically ditzy Cali blond though I checked who the fuck was narrating it.

Apparently Christopher Ragland did it, as he did the first three, according to Audible's website. I looked around a bit more and found that the one I had listened to, the good one done by a competent voice actor, was done by Luke Daniels, and that there are TWO recordings, and Audible has the fucked up one.

...SIGH. I finally get a new PC like object. Can't access unfettered wifi, can't play games, can't download any TV or movies, and can't even get good copies of audiobooks to listen to. All I can do, is work...boring, boring, dull, boring ole...work.

I do fucking hate this universe sometimes.

But yeah, speaking of work, I had better go do some. I shall return tomorrow for more tales of ignoring sexual possibilities and how the universe thinks I'm it's personal chew toy.

Might raid me some Reddit and post some nonsense from there too, so stay tuned. :)

Good morning and good evening and good night.