Tempus Fugit...

Sup. Thursday. Few things happened, although little that's a big deal.

Paid rent and things [things being laundry and buying bulk food items] on Monday. Have to relocate hostels again, again, this coming Monday after everywhere else in central London got mysteriously booked solid in it's cheaper beds.

The whether sours, the summer is over, and suddenly where I had no issues of accommodation over the summer, where it cost me about 60 a week for the crappy 'it's somewhere to sleep indoors' accommodation I'm currently staying in, everywhere is now charging 100-130 per week. Mother fucking assholes.

So I'm now moving out of central London into North East and staying in somewhere which is still costing me 10 more than where I was, about 80. Its going to be a pain in the ass to move, but there's no choice, I need the money.

I especially need the money because on Tuesday, got an email from the police recruitment office reminding me that I never handed in some medical documentation to them. Said medical documentation is simply a form which I filled out and my doctor, who I haven't seen, apart from that fucking chest infection, in ten fucking years, signed and is now charging me £30.00 to buy from him, like it was some sort of effort for the bastard to sign off. No discounts for the unemployed either. Bastards. There was a hint though that unless I get my recruitment with the MPS finished soon then they'll cancel my application, so I have to hand it in and this Monday.

So of course, after that I get a phone call from the recruitment office the job center referred me to asking [See: telling] me to come in for my marching orders the following day at 11am. And like I predicted they told me that 4 days a week, 6 hours a day, I need to be doing some sort of ill-defined job skills training course for 8 weeks, and the other day, Monday, I need to check in with their offices.

So in this hand we have the Metropolitan Police Service telling me to hurry the fuck up with my application.

And in this hand we have the Job Center telling me they're here to get me into work whilst taking the time away I need to finish off my certification course and be prepared for training with a job skills training course which is designed for people who have 1/10th my intelligence if that.

Like usual, my life is organizing itself so what should be a fairly easy task - a few quizzes and a 2 hour exam - is neigh impossible because humanity is trying to help me...and people wonder why I hate humans.

The one bright spot is that this doesn't seem all that hard really.

The college work, after a bit of organization, appears to be no more than 1-2 days hard work. 2/3rds of the remaining coursework quizzes were 0-10 questions long, and I did them. The remaining 3 are 25ish each. Then I just need to answer about a dozen questions in the exams, which shouldn't be too hard once I look up the answers and drum them into my abused skull.

I have time for that little work...I think...though that still leaves me behind in the revision of the materials so I know what I'm about on the first day of training.

I'm not at all confident about this job skills training course thingy though. I've done such things before and what they amount to is a lot of busy work without any real guidance.

What's currently got me at a loss though is that I've told the job center, the job recruitment company, and will tell the people teaching this course they're forcing me to do, about my neigh finished certification course and impending training into the police...and no one seems to care or even noticed...

I feel like a man with a doctorate in some complicated subject who has been told that the start date of his new positing is forthcoming but not yet defined and being told by the job center that by government regulation he needs to take GCSE Maths and English, of the grade they teach illiterate immigrants.

5 minuets from victory the people keeping me alive have decided to cause the maximum damage they're able to snatch it away from me...

Normally I would consider it grossly imprudent and unwise, but when I have the start date and it's all settled and paid for until I actually enter training, I'm going to tell that asshole at the job center who calls himself my 'Job Coach' that he's a fucking bastard for trying to screw me over at the finish.

I mentioned previously that I had stripped a gear and gone apeshit at my college course tutor. I did a stupid, stupid thing and replaced that fucking gear. I need to tare it out and go a bit more apeshit, first on this job skills recruitment company and then at the job center.

The thing is that they haven't crossed that line yet. I can still win this if I get the work done. If it looks like I'm going to fail though because of them, I will let them have it. I have to. I won't lose this, not after everything.

...

Lady friend is OK. Sorta.

A week or two back she had a wire inserted into her guts through a thing called a stoma for some syndrome thingy. The wire went too far in and was hurting her so she got permission to pull it out a bit. This made it come out entirely and she got sick again. Got it put back in this week and it's apparently hurting like hell and she's got a fever and her doctor is making a house call today.

She sent me a pic this morning of herself, deathly pale except for flushed cheeks. The picture was cute and her personality is cuddly. I think I'm being toyed with by the universe again.

Last girl I showed real interest in turned out to be a transsexual [though I'm bi, so thats a non-issue] and insane - she is still cyberstalking me and posting messages addressed to me on the Los Angeles division of Craigslist's Missed Connections boards.

Her name is Brooke Lawson, also known as Brooke Leigh, from Press Heart to Continue. That boyfriend of her's is a cover because she's insane. Either she is dating him and...well, I would say fucking with me, but sane people who are fucking with someone else don't post for 4-5 years now I think, messages on an online message board to someone else, or she is lying about dating him and using him as a cover to maintain plausible deniability about any statement I may make [such as this one].

I don't care really. I hate the fact that I can't have my Twitter unlocked and simply be me anymore without that fucking creeper seeing whatever I post and posting on CL about it though. I did care about her and tried to have some sort of friendship and so on with her, but she's too mad to do anything of the sort with me.

So I have a new lady friend...who is ill and will continue to be ill indefinitely because her condition is genetic...like I said, the universe enjoys fucking with me because the only two girls who have shown interest in me as a person rather than as an ambulatory penis were/are ill, in the head and in the body.

I liked them both, but my newer lady friend at least appears to eventually be able to get better and at least talks directly to me instead of by proxy, so it's a step up I guess. Such is my retarded existence.

...

I am now hungry so I think I'm gonna go eat something and then do college work.

Tomorrow I'm going to cover the ongoing development of my thesis come industry journal on games design.

The long and short of that is that I posted on Reddit a link to view the file and some details about my intent and purpose in writing it, and the denizens in the Games Design subreddit reminded me why I don't interact with me so called peers, and hate forums; if you don't run into trolls, you still can't avoid the idiots.

Details to follow.

Good after to you all.

Hate and Love, Rage and Passion

SUP. :O

Lots to discuss today. Writing this to the sound of a Drum n Bass artist called Kraddy, with such epic tunes as this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkWlNSxa4zk&index=19&list=RD8ojHf5rdYwE

Want to discuss the mercantile opportunities offered by the acquisition of other people's lost luggage and shipments via auction houses, but first the personal crap. :P

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2808
https://twitter.com/jephjacques

I really do enjoy reading this webcomic. It's called Questionable Content by a chap known as Jeph Jacques, and deals with the life and times of Martin something-or-other [I can't remember the guys last name and can't be asked to look it up]. Essentially Martin and he mates live and work and the comics deal with their social interactions. Latterly these have included Martin's courting of a transsexual women he works with in his library.

Being bisexual I obviously support non-heterosexuality [not in a 'I'm a feminist' type of way, just 'its totally normal for people to be like this' type of way] and it's great to see an webcomic artist taking a serious and logical stance on the subject.

Alright, so the only transsexual person I've ever met [my current cyberstalker btw] is 9 types of batshit insane, but overall I hold the educated man's view on sexuality - that if it feels right, do it, and everyone has a right to do whatever they want so long as it hurts no one else, and they're are plenty of orphans and that in the world and they could do much worse than a loving gay couple as parents - so anything which promotes those views and handles them in a totally reasonable way is GG in my book.

Don't know if I mentioned this last blog post but some of my food - a loaf of bread - got stolen from my sealed and named bags in the hostel fridge I'm currently staying in. Like someone would've had to first tear them open knowing they don't own them to get the goods out of them.

I thought my food was safe as I'm currently on a veggies and pasta kick to assist in recovering after a lot of physical stress and ongoing mental trials. People staying in hostels aren't anywhere near that healthy. Pizza, microwaved meals, and cans are generally their thing, not fresh fruit and veggies.

And I was right, my veggies are entirely safe, but not, as it turns out, the butter [two spoonfuls of butter were taken on Monday], a loaf of bread [which totally vanished yesterday] and, as I found out this morning four large potatoes which I was going to eat for dinner last night [this morning].

In total I've lost all of £2.50 in food to thieves, and there's no way to track them. Trap them though, I could. All I'd need to do buy 2 loaves of bread, some rat poison, open the bags and ensure I don't use enough to mar the taste and wait for the ambulance to arrive. When you have vermin getting into your food stores, that's how you deal with them, even if said vermin are larger than the usual verity.

Can't do that though. Get the dose wrong, or if they eats too much and I kill someone [not that I'm against killing humans you understand] and it get's traced back to me [I made too much noise about it to the useless idiot hostel staff when I found out about the bread] then I can kiss my policing career goodbye over £2.50.

Can't be helped, lesson learned, keep bread, eggs and anything people actually like to eat upstairs and out of their reach. Still...I'd love to catch one of them in the act. Bruises fade, although it might take a while after I get through kicking them. It's just that given I don't have even £2.50 to replace my stolen property I find this an especially vehement fuck you.

I'm not starving though. I've got a £3.00 giant bag of pasta, and they're not touching the veggies, so I won't go hungry before Monday, and that's the main thing, even if I'm angry enough to hospitalize them if I catch them at it.

Point is that I'm misanthropic already. This shit is only confirming my world view. Finish my police course. Get my badge and cuffs. Take it out on every thief that takes away something someone else NEEDS. And don't get suspended for GBH. Tricky that...

I just HATE thieves.

Currently also angry at my gods damn phone service provider. I went into one of their stores a few weeks ago and asked for their best PAYG data package because all ever do on my phone is email and check the net for info. The prepubescent gay teen adviser was apparently too busy trying to flirt with me to know what he was actually selling because he told me the £15.00 PAYG top-up was unlimited data for a month. Just checked my phone's text's and I topped up on the 22nd of September so it took two and a half weeks to burn through 15 quid's worth of data because it's NOT unlimited. Stupid bastard.

I really need to sign up for a contract thing or something and ensure that it's unlimited. I'll do that as soon as I've got more money coming in but I can't guarantee payment month to month at the moment so that's not an option.

Currently sitting in a McDonalds freezing my ass off. Would be in the library but I need to download some more Dresden Files audiobooks [would download some TV but with my phone's data having expired I can't access Kick Ass Torrents for the magnet links on it].

Like I said a few posts back, there's no issue with using torrents in my playbook. In this instance specifically I have no issue downloading my entire audiobook library because I paid for the entire lot more than five years ago. I'm now just trying to rebuild the library that's sitting in stasis on my tower PC with the broken power adapter that uneconomical to repair and which I can't afford to be replace.

They say piracy is illegal. I say that once you buy media you shouldn't be limited to the seller's own branded device, and shouldn't have to rebuy the media just because the device you were using to use and store it on or the online store you bought it from has since closed down it's servers.

I paid for this stuff once. I'm not paying twice because you have unethical business practices designed to charge people multiple times for the single product.

Read Reddit, where I'm currently enjoying a thread about 'If you were suddenly found to be living in the last game universe you were playing, what would happen' and taunting anyone who posts about ruling the fields of justice in the League of Legends universe. :P

Wrote this blog post, obviously.

Checked my emails, where I've got a really long one from my lady friend. Still not 100% sure that's a good idea. It's recently become very apparent that asides from lacking my physical faculties due to a genetic disease she isn't strong mentally either. She is very nice though and doesn't seem to get tired of my crazy genius bullshit or the fact that I'm a fucking train wreck personally.

The question is what do I need from a girlfriend? The answer is someone caring and patient who gives a fuck about my existence, isn't a direct challenge to my predator brain who sees anyone near my equal as a threat, and is physically attractive and fuckable. She fills that criteria. I mean, I could explore a lot more people and it's not like I don't have options given that I'm hot apparently, and sane. But for starters this one seems to match up with what I'm looking for.

Current issue is that she has a guy friend, who she says is entirely platonic, coming to see her for a few days from today. He's just like her apparently, only rich [family business], intelligent [speaks half a dozen languages], and as nice as she is [just like her]. Whereas I at some point raided a Mummy's Tomb and caught a curse which is making my life a living hell.

She says they're just friends, and I can't see a point in being jealous.

I mean, she's sent me videos of her touching her admittedly really fine looking tits and pussy [she's uber sensitive, a squirter, and loud, and submissive, which is all a turn on as far as I'm concerned] and I've sent her videos and pics of me which she liked, and she lives in the UK and few hours north. It's a good setup.

I don't think she's playing me, but you never can tell can you? As far as I know she's not just sending those to just me and this trip for him isn't just visiting a sick friend.

But on the other hand what does mistrust gain me? Nothing good. Extending trust until proven otherwise is the best course because if she is telling the truth then I get, at minimum, a lot of sex. *shrug*

The point, the key point, is that I can't act on it yet anyway. I need to get into training and things first. After that and I'm stabilized then either I can meet her and if we're attracted in person then...well, x-rated shit will go down. If not then throw a rock seeing as when I try I get all the attention anyone could want. And more after I put on some muscle from a gym, which is what I intend to go grab sometime soon.

The job center backed off by the way. Went to see my adviser yesterday and, well, it essentially appears that he lost his shit last Wednesday, had me come in for four check-ins to no real purpose, and sign up to some recruitment program. Since I complied with that though he's now backed off till next Wednesday so I can get on with my coursework [fucking dripping ass monkey], which I should, with any luck, have bagged up and handed in by the end of the month. They say I've passed in writing and I should be able to give that to the Met Police and get a training start date. It's just a matter of getting the world done now basically.

OK, this has run a bit longer than I thought it would so I'm calling it here. Not much should happen between now and tomorrow so I'll cover buying stuff from London auction houses and selling it on eBay tomorrow.

Going to go see if I can't play a match or two of Hearthstone, which is about the only game I can play on this toy laptop, and then get on with some college work...as soon as I reply to that email from my lady friend. xD

Have a good one.

You Know It's Going To Be A Good Day...

...when upon waking up you find a 10 quid note someone dropped and no one claims. :D

Got a Subway for breakfast, had some coke flavored caffeine called Monster Assault, tasty stuff, bought some caffeine pills, listened to some Dresden Files: Wight Night [that's what it should be called so unless you write it down it sounds like 'White Knight' or good hero instead of 'Wight Night' or soul vampire night], had a shower, got to the library and now just procrastinating before doing some college work.

Didn't go running last night because last weekend really did a number on me, I left it too late, and today I feel great, so go do an epic run tomorrow and it'll be far more productive.

Kinda annoyed at the skin on my hands at the moment because they got freeze dried by the cold autumnal air and the epidermis is dry and tight. Freaking annoying, though minor relief comes from licking them. Need some moisturizer or something but I hate how oily that shit makes my hands for hours. I once tried to power through that shit though and my knuckles are badly scarred from where the skin dried out and cracked and bled so.

Currently trying to listen to My Chemical Romance's final album called 'Conventional Weapons' which I've only found one or two good songs on - Boy Division and Kiss the Ring. The rest are just awful bland things which only serve to evidence that some bands should bow out before their fire burns out.

There is some pop music out currently which is sticking in my head, but I've no clue what the songs are called, only heard them when moving between shops which play the stuff, and have no desire to wade through the utter crap in the top 40 to find maybe two or three songs total which appeal to me.

Lady friend is kinda annoying me at the moment because sometimes she seems hot and sometimes she seems cold and I'm not sure where I stand, and I hate not knowing where I stand. Of course this laptop is slowly reducing my care of anything which isn't pure information.

The way my brain works is semi-psychopathic; I see the world as an assemblage of information. I don't usually feel emotion, not because I can't, but because there's so much momentum behind my thoughts that I get into specific head spaces of mental thought, and analysis and deduction of incoming and outgoing information is one of my favorite head spaces. I could be emotional, or I could be creative, or I could be rational, or whatever depending on what I focus on. To get work done, to interact with computers, to play games, I don't feel emotion or use imagination, I just see, think and do. And that's where my head's at right now.

For relationships of any sort this is problematic as my lady friend talks to me and I try to rationalize and solve what she is saying instead of caring. And when she's not talking to me and off doing other stuff I don't really care about her existence. I probably should care really, but I don't because I'm occupying a head space that makes me hyperational and want to be there instead of worrying about relationship bull shit.

I'd do very well to find someone who understands this sort of thing, has as much intelligence [roughly defined as memory, deductive ability, etc.], and can run in the same sort of mode and doesn't expect me to be all warm and caring and isn't all warm and caring when on the job.

The issue of course is that I'm so weird that my sort of weirdness isn't prolific enough to make finding someone like me likely. I have to try to make do with what is available in the human population.

My lady friend isn't an ideal mate, but I don't know anyone else that's better at the moment. That's the basis of most human relationships really. Imperfect but what you've got to work with.

No call back from the recruitment company the job center referred me to last week. Going to go see them tomorrow morning before checking in with the job center.

Watching S08E03 of Doctor Who. The Promised Land is starting to reveal itself, which is interesting, and the bickering between The Doctor and Robin Hood was funny. The issue is that I've seen multiple versions of the Robin Hood tale, including the Kevin Costner full motion picture, and found it a bit lackluster so. It's still not quite matching up to the first episode of the series though. Started on a high note, and the last few episodes will probably be excellent, but the center seems a bit underwhelming.

A while back when I had nothing to use but my iPhone I got into using an online forum called Reddit.

Normally I am loath to use forums because the people who use them have the mental functions of pet rocks and the moderators are a breed of Nazi that believes that if they can get away with it then who the fuck cares about rationality or reason when they can abuse their power and ban you for breathing.

However, since I started using it, apart from the occasional troll, being banned once for 'Slap Fighting' from Ask Reddit because a flamebaiter kept harassing me*, and once being accused of stealing porno pictures and reposting them on Tumblr and infringing on copyright theft** I've enjoyed using the site overall.

* Yeah, I got banned because someone went through my post history posting insulting and nasty replies when all I said to him was that I was not going to engage him and asked him why he was doing it. Like I said, mods are universally assholes who don't care about contextual circumstances. It's in their job description to not give a fuck.

** I do repost porn pictures from a subreddit called Gone Wild on Tumblr under another name, but only ever 1 image from any one person, I link to where I found it, and the people who post them don't give a flying fuck about who downloads and reposts them elsewhere anyway.

One of the subreddits is called No Sleep, and it's where people post scary and creepy stories from a first person perspective. OK, so it's rules [each subreddit has it's own ruleset] are retarded because you can't say...

"Good story, but insert critique of your narrative and compliment on structure here."

...without it being removed by the mods. You have to go use NoSleepOOC for that. No, in the subreddit itself you have to act like all the stories are totally legit and the posters are talking about real events as a form of ongoing roleplay. It's stupid, retarded, and ill conducive to proper feedback on creative work, but, like with Wikipedia, I have no control to make idiots grow the fuck up and see reason, so I live with it.

The reason I mention it is because what I thought would be a good idea some time ago is to turn the stories in No Sleep into anthology collections, books which could be constructed with artwork and sold in shops and online as eBooks, via Kindle and that maybe.

Some of them really are quite worth the read, and the entire process isn't that complicated for someone already trained in the design of computer games and their concomitant artistic assets.

You simply built the necessary artwork in photoshop, collect and edit together a whole bunch of stories once you have the authorization of their authors, and then publish the book via Lulu or any one of the self-publishing websites who take your money and publication dat and hand you a printed book in bulks of a thousand or so.

When I posted this I naturally started at the above base principles and got in return from other users a whole bunch of utter tripe way beyond a base concept about contracts and royalties and how it's a far better thing for a single author to seek self-publication [a hellish task which I understand requires 10,000 pitches and ten times that many rewrites or more before someone says yes, we'll take this] rather than contribute to a collected anthology, as though a novice writer doesn't need nor want to appear beside other works which encourage people to buy the volume because they know one writer and get recognition and cred.

I mean, I even got told by some stupid bastard that any author with brains wouldn't use a publisher or contribute to an anthology because the professional job role of publishers is to make money off the work of creative people.

Which is entirely true, if you take away a publisher's entire functioning workload of finding halfway decent authors, collating and editing their work, ensuring they deliver on time, making sure their work is advertised and distributed properly, etc. etc. Ya know, the entire role of administration of a creative work doesn't need to be paid for, and every author is naturally skilled in the task without any outside aid whatsoever.

I am a games designer and I design games. When you have publishers or anyone else, including programmers or artists, trying to do my job, they cock it up royally because they are not skilled in the task like I am. Likewise I don't really care about the majority of their job/s, constructing a creative artifact from a verity of sources not withstanding.

It's one thing to be a creative genius, but it's another to understand administration of creative artifacts, and someone has to pay for that service, and it's going to have to come from the revenue generated by the proliferation of the creative artifact, either to the author for doing a half assed job of it or to someone else for professional execution.

Anyway someone directed me to an eBook put together by, I think, the mods of the subreddit itself.

- http://nosleepebook.wordpress.com/2014/07/13/2014-ebook-issue-2/

I would download this and give my professional opinion on it's design, but the library I'm in doesn't allow for downloads from Mediafire [fucking idiot should not have used that when Lulu is free and available to anyone once they've made an account] but from what I remember when I checked it out on my phone a professional media designer like myself could do a lot better than this.

The point is that like most things I have an idea for making something and a lot of people show up to tell me it can't be done for a lot of bullshit reasons, think they're helping, and instead are just confirming my conviction that most of humanity needs to be fucking nurtured.

The issue I have with executing this idea here and now [apart from the obvious limitations on my time at present] is that this toy PC here can't handle running photoshop so I can't make the art assets. I can however run around No Sleep and pull together a whole bunch of stories and make a prototype then post that as a proof of concept idea on the forums.

If the authors have one iota of sense they will see my work and get on board. If they don't, and let's face it that I'm expecting that they won't, they'll go apeshit and tell me not to publish their work on the assumption that I'm trying to profit from it, because people are irrational morons.

NOTE: I'm making this note here as a preemptive I told you so [HAI DUDE FROM PAST SELF!] because from past experience I have the abilities of a prophet so I want to make it very clear that I saw this bullshit coming and have no intention of profiting from other peoples work, I'm just trying to create something here.

I'll still form the book, because if nothing else it'll look good in my portfolio as 'I made an anthology book, isn't it uber cool' even if the morons who wrote the content won't allow me to publish it so we can both profit from it's distribution out into the world.

Like I've always said, I can but try, and also like I've always said, the universe usually sneers at anything I try and tries to kill it with prejudice. Doesn't stop me from trying though, as evidenced by the fact that I'm still breathing.

Right, I need a widdle and maybe a drink and I really need to get some college work done, so I think I've rambled on enough for one day.

The above eBook and a few other projects [including buying merchandise from airport lost and abandoned luggage sales from auctions held in London, UK, and selling it on eBay] will have to wait until I have more time and money to invest in doing it.

Hope anyone reading this is having a nice day like me. :)

Sexy Beast and Womennip...

Good afternoon. :P

Busy busy. Got home yesterday after the library after nearly telling me lady friend that I haz a crush on her [I didn't because it's dumb] but decided to just leave it alone because neither of us can act on it.

Was so tired and hungry that I forgot that I still had laundry to dry and new bedding to lay before I could sleep. Went out whilst the drier was going and bought some jooce and got hit on by a dirty haired blond lady in Tescos.

Then woke up this morning and found out that the communal showers in the new hostel are occupied by guys who have no issue stripping entirely naked before showering, so I tried not to stare at three twenty something entirely naked toned athletic wet guys strolling around...I'm bisexual...naked young dudes...they were wondering why I was embarrassed and thankfully didn't put 2 and 2 together. That was a fun shower though, hehe.

Then went to McDonalds for breakfast after KFC turned out to be closed for refit. Got food, sat down, and realized that I was being eyed up by an elegant blond women with rather epic funbags 2 seats down, which was made plane when she asked me a really obvious question and waited for me to introduce myself. I didn't though because I meant what I said - I'm focusing on work and not having any more relationship drama right now - but damn it, why am I such sexy catnip to these people? xD

Nooo, I know what I want and it won't be found by picking up a passing stranger in a hostel or fast food joint. Still not entirely sure if it's my sexy hospitalized female friend yet though...whatever, I have work to do.

Came to library after that and currently trying to download some more audiobooks and iTunes...why am I downloading iTunes...I know there was a good reason but I can't remember what it was...

Also posted on Reddit a request in the favor forums to access someone's wifi to download Hearthstone and a few other things onto my new laptop because it uses P2P protocols to download and update which are blocked by most public wifi hotspots.

A mod then PMed me asking if I was after someone's wifi to download pirated software. Of course I am, uTorrent could replace all my paid for and lost media sitting on my broken computer and I was asking for access to download Hearthstone as cover. But shit, I wrote my post specifically defining that I wanted Hearthstone, a game, and this guy had no business jumping to that conclusion.

I called him an idiot for not reading my post properly and another mod said 'Cool. You're gonna play like that, please ask elsewhere'. My thoughts on that sentence right there are: arrogance and petty asshattery, thy name is forum mod. I hate everyone in that job role more than most other human beings.

Anyway, I can't for the life of me think of how to access the free web unfettered by fucking blocks so Im resorting to the filth of the internet and download Netflix to see if, once downloaded, I can watch movies and TV for 6-7 quid a month. It's better than nothing.

LOL, I love the hubris of big companies like Google/YouTube. They spend probably millions on putting in place a download lock so FireFox add-ons can no longer download videos. So in about 2-3 minuets I download a plug in for FireFox, from FireFox's own website, which disables it and download a music video in HD onto my laptop to listen to offline. xD

Idiots.

Their company may be big, it may be worth millions or even billions of any major first world currency, and they might have all the power in the world, but if ya fucking userbase wants to do something against your TOS, then you might as well not even bother trying to stop them, because they will do it and make your IT department look like fucking amateurs whilst they're about it. ;D

...Alright, so half the point is that I'm a geek and a lot of their users aren't and not everyone is going to walk past it or even Google the solution, but it seems fairly pointless to tech savvy me.

YA KNOW, I was meant to be getting my college work done today. Its now 18:19, the library closes in an hour and a half and it's not even entered my head to go and actually do some work. -.- #idiot

Got an uber run tomorrow and I never make it to the library afterwards so I won't get any work done then either. So stupid.

Alright, I'm gonna go focus on getting something productive done instead of browsing Reddit and downloading things.

Before I go though, I fucking hate Audible, the online retailer of cheap audiobooks.

I found a credit for an audiobook on one of my Audible accounts and decided to grab Tricked, book 4 of the Iron Druid Chronicles, seeing as I've been listening to books 1-3 for a few months and would love to hear no4.

From the get go it didn't sound right, the voices were off, but I read somewhere that they had switched publishers so I waited it out and tried to enjoy it anyway, planning to see if there was a higher quality copy available online later when I have full access to the internet. After cringing at Oberon's altered doggie voice and Granuaile sounding like an epically ditzy Cali blond though I checked who the fuck was narrating it.

Apparently Christopher Ragland did it, as he did the first three, according to Audible's website. I looked around a bit more and found that the one I had listened to, the good one done by a competent voice actor, was done by Luke Daniels, and that there are TWO recordings, and Audible has the fucked up one.

...SIGH. I finally get a new PC like object. Can't access unfettered wifi, can't play games, can't download any TV or movies, and can't even get good copies of audiobooks to listen to. All I can do, is work...boring, boring, dull, boring ole...work.

I do fucking hate this universe sometimes.

But yeah, speaking of work, I had better go do some. I shall return tomorrow for more tales of ignoring sexual possibilities and how the universe thinks I'm it's personal chew toy.

Might raid me some Reddit and post some nonsense from there too, so stay tuned. :)

Good morning and good evening and good night.

Well, that was a most unpleasent little interlude...

Hai. I'm back online. Got a crappy little toy laptop with a duel core 1.2Ghz processor and 2 gigs of RAM this morning for about £50.00.

It runs Windows 7 so if I can find a fucking wifi connection that will let me access uTorrent and a few other things I can at least update my fucking devices with new audiobooks, and use Google Drive and Firefox to finish off my college work. Those two factors alone are worth 50 fucking quid because a] I am SO DONE doing my gods damn college work on my fucking phone, and b] if I have to listen to the first 3 audiobooks of the fucking Dresden Files and Iron Druid Chronicles [the only audiobooks I had on the devices when my tower PC broke] one more time I'm going to EAT the gods damn Sansa I'm using out of spite.

It's several steps below having a real PC [an entire flight of them maybe], but it's one step above having fuck all, so it'll do for about a month until I get into police training and can upgrade to something which, incidentally, can run fucking League of Legends [gods how I miss playing that fucking game] and TOME: Immortal Arena, which this one cannot [2.0Ghz minimum].

Between when I last posted regularly and now, what happened?

Well, the PC broke so I ended up doing 75% of my police coursework in the local library using my phone. Got about 95% done, but my morale took a pasting after, due to shit happening, I missed the resit date for my exams and my course tutor told me that the examining body wouldn't take them again for 6 weeks. Took me a while to get over that.

Then I decided to investigate on what I've been missing out on in terms of human to human interaction. For some reason [maybe it's all the running or something] but I appear to be catnip to the opposite sex [and the same sex who happen to be gay or bi, which is good because I'm bi too]. In the last few weeks I've had a women start touching herself in a hostel dorm bed opposite me to try to get me to fuck her, several people have tried to flirt with me in and around hostels, and just yesterday when I was soaked from running a blond lass AND a red head stud tried to flirt with me.

Naturally I showed them both no mind, and instead hit on a girl who was 10 years younger than me [19 to my 29], already dating someone else for 6 months, and a total brain dead idiot who didn't even know what the hell VOIP is...well, I said 'hit on', where what I actually did was try to make friends with her when she said she was seeing someone, which worked right up until Friday when my heart went nuts when thinking of talking to talk to her, and then Sunday when she sat down to say hello and talk to me, I froze up and got all embarrassed and had to admit [somehow I convinced myself I could just be her friend] that I was really attracted to her. She hasn't spoken to me since, person or email, and I don't blame her one little bit.

Asides from that I really got into browsing Reddit's forums. It's an excellent website, for both social interaction and things like No Sleep where people post creepy stories. It's got some really stupid ass rules at times, like in No Sleep you have to pretend like the stories are totally legit and you're talking to someone who has actually experienced the events in the narrative, which itself is told from the first person perspective [I went to the window, that kind of thing]. Also in Ask Reddit, some guy showed up and decided to try to flamebait me - insult me for the purposes of making me angry and insult him - and when I told the mods [gods how I hate mods] they took a look at his insults, my rational replies, and banned us both for 2 days for 'Slap Fighting'...yeah, because I was totally the bad guy here, and in 2 days I'm not going to be back writing calm rational replies like I just fucking did, DICKS. But overall it's an interesting waste of time and something to do when you've only got an old iPhone and unlimited 3G wifi to entertain yourself.

The reason I mention Reddit right after flirting and being flirted with is because I met this lass in the UK who I've got this daily email communication flow with. Not entirely sure how that happened but she posted in Need a Friend I think as her mates had abandoned her when she went into hospital with complications from a kidney syndrome thingy. I'm not sure what precisely her issues are as she tends to be purposely vague about stuff due to abusive past relationships [notably her ex who, and I don't say this with my usual hyperbole, I actually mean this sincerely, needs to be stabbed a lot and thrown to rats, preferably whilst he's still alive enough to know he's being eaten].

Shes about my age, beautiful [though currently a bit cubby due to the doctor telling her to put on weight for ICU style surgery, but I've seen older pictures and she is hot], interesting eyes, a little shy maybe [she has issues arguing back] but a cuddly personality. She also worked/works [got fired on medical grounds, but probably going to get rehired] for a high court up north, and seeing as I'm going to be a policemen, we're basically studying the same rulebook, only I hunt and capture whilst she locks em up. I like her. And she apparently likes me, even with my crazy which I've exposed her to more than once or twice.

And we have this weird sexual thing going on. She sent me tit pics [even overweight her chest puppies are just amazing], I uploaded a bunch of images off my phone into a drop box and gave her a link [I'm not one to judge my own body, but there are apparently images in there plenty of others want to see from me wearing thin tees and jeans, so can't be too bad and she's asked for more but I've been too busy].

Point is that she knows I'm a virgin, we're the same age, we're both attractive people, we both work in similar areas, we've talked about sexual kinks [she's into a form of BDSM called forced orgasms, and I'm into dominant sex where I've got control and possession of another, so we're compatible], she's not into geeky stuff like me, but...I don't know, we talk and it works somehow, and we share a history of mental abuse so we understand and make allowances for crazy...

...I'm just going to say it, I'm fairly sure that...I don't know. I can't define our relationship even to myself and sometimes she seems sexual and it's a shared thing and sometimes she seems like just a good friend, and she talks to other guys, one of whom is coming to visit her next month, stay in a hotel and hang out for a couple of days, she says they're just good friends, like the mirror image of each others personality, but she shares sexual stuff with me, but won't seem to commit to anything [which is understandable given her exs] and I'm not sure if I want her to...

To say our relationship is muddled is an understatement, but the fact is that I can't act on it on right due to joining the police, and she's currently on disability allowance from the government due to her illness which I'm not entirely sure if she's going to get over and be healthy like normal again.

If she were fit and healthy, and I wasn't still a train wreck, I wouldn't say no to a hotel room, some take out [we both love KFC], some rope, and some epically kinky sex with a person even I, the misenthropic bastard that I am, would have to call a friend.

But the qualifiers to that event aren't there, and I don't really know how she feels. Given the attention I've been getting I also feel I would be [even more] of a fool than I have been lately with regards to other people not to take up some of these other offers I keep getting, but the issue, at least from my perspective, is that I want my first time, with my personality and at this age, to be with someone I trust and like. Someone I can explore with and who'll be patient because she or he cares about me.

In the typical fashion of my stupid fucking existence, what I've got in this regard is someone who would probably give me what I want and probably need, but can't, and offers from those who see a pretty man and want but would get what they don't expect and wouldn't want to handle [OK, so that's cynical but I see no reason not to think the worst here].

So I'm putting a moratorium on the whole damn business and setting back down to get on with my college work. No reason not to chat and get to know people, from the hostel I'm in or online, because someone else may come along who is even better suited to me than the above women, but wait until I've got my own place, restored my wardrobe and devices to reasonable levels, and have settled into being a copper, and then I'll see about adding relationship drama into that. By then, if my lady friend is healthy and we still want in each others undies, then I'll press my intentions, if not, I don't see any reason I can't boink someone else I meet in mean time or after. It's the smart way to go.

Fucking starving right now, but only got about 5 hours sleep last night and cant be asked to move from this library chair. -.-

Anyway, met a few bastards, made a few friends, discovered I'm crack to the opposite sex, wasted some time, living in a cheap hostel so should be able to upgrade some of my shirt shortly, nearly done with college, OH, and getting some temp work after I've finished off the last 5-10% of my course to give me bonus monies which I really does needs

And got a crappy PC which is about an infinity times better than my aging fucking iPhone.

YUP.

Still adding links to Firefox, downloading a few programs, going to go hit Audible for my Discworld audiobooks shortly, and find a way to download torrents so I can get the remainder of the Iron Druid Chronicles onto my Sansa and some TV on my HDD to watch this evening. Come back to library tomorrow after a good nights sleep and revise for resit exams, check in with the job center on Wednesday, and on with college work for the rest of the week.

Try and post about something else tomorrow, like I did before. Did also have ideas about getting an entirely new online ID [the other one which is the main one I use, that I don't use here]. Just think it's time. This wouldn't change as it's not linked to me personally except by access, but my other ID would be wiped and I'd start over with a new project database. A new slate, as it were...

For now though, I'm off to get something to eat before I start eating library patrons. Bai.