Halo thar. Been busy doing nothing very much. In all accuracy.
Since my last post I played way more Hearthstone than I should, sorted out my JSA claim to this area, sorted out my HB claim to this hostel, and booked this hostel for the time being consecutively so my accommodation is all but stable.
No real issues. I provided the right information to each relevent agency and party and, apart from a 9am phone call for some putz at the housing benefits office asking me to confirm what was fucking outlined on the fucking receipts I printed out and checked in, everything was swapped over without anything being dropped, especially not a payment, so I didn't have to chase it.
Well, my JSA was slow to come through and I did have to chase that, but I got it sorted out in hours on the day of so no worries. Going to sign on tomorrow and I don't see any issues.
Took a resit exam for my Certificate in Basic Policing Course. Apparently I don't need to do all 17 outstanding questions in one sitting but I do need to do a paper in one sitting. So what I did was 3 questions total, of two different papers, and passed them both, found out today, last Saturday.
I didn't just do all 17 because I spent, and yes I know I'm a damn fool, about two weeks writing games design and playing Hearthstone, then worked up the morale to actually do revision of the material about a day or so before hand.
Stayed awake for 25 hours to get to the exam, ran out of cash so didn't eat for 12 hours, and didn't have the monies for transport so I had to walk for 4 hours to get there.
The four hour walk back...no words to describe how much that fucking hurt. Got into the hostel and just collapsed onto a bench and fell asleep. Took it's now Tuesday and I feel somewhat normal for the first time since.
Essentially the world has stopped being an unfair place that likes to torture me, so I'm now, like a fucking sadist, doing it to myself.
I take full responsibility for it. I should've revised. I should've kept money back. I should've gotten a good nights sleep, arrived, done all 17, and now be smug I passed. And I paid for it. Saturday hurt more than I have in YEARS, no exercise, no trauma, nothing has hurt that much. Yeesh.
Tutor said he could do Thursday so I'm going in to do some more of the papers. 14 questions remaining and 1.5 days to revise.
And I'm not doing it.
Why?
Morale issues basically. I know I should do it, I know things will be better once it's done, and I want to be a policeman, but...meh...
Can't remember if I posted it before but all the crap I've been through up till now just piled on me and that last issue with the job center, the insult, the patronization, the fucking stupidity of it...that's what I'm fighting.
I'm fighting 'Fuck This'. I'm trying to make myself give a damn when it matters, when I've got time, to do the work and finish. To end it. To get my prize at last...
I did it at the end of last week. I'm sure I'll pull my shit together tomorrow.
I know I want to be a policemen though because I love it. I love sitting in this hostel, seeing someone break a pool que and try to hide it, reporting it to the hostel staff and being thanked for it. I love the authority. I love the creeping stealthy predator nature of it. I want to be a policeman and hunt criminals. It's just this part which is killing me...
About the only other thing currently happening right now is, once again, sexual bullshit.
Receptionist in the hostel I'm staying. Cute and slinky lil bint, very nice ass, who get's flustered when I talk to her, checks me out, and is trying to get me to talk to her. Issue? She smokes, and I have a policy.
Third girl I've ever been interested in who smoked. Two were way back when I lived in Oxfordshire and worked in a pub, and this would be the third. One said she loved me, went on date with the second but nothing happened, and this one is lovely but I don't date smokers and thats the end of it.
Like I said last time, I don't have time or headspace for this bullshit but I still want sex. The fact that she smokes makes it 2 to 1 in the negative, but that 1 is about 5 times bigger than the other two combined.
Fucking humanity man. Fucking smoking too.
Downloading League of Legends on this toy laptop I'm using. The recommended specs are way above this 1.5GHz piece of shit, but I can run Hearthstone and want to see if at minimum settings it can manage to run it anyway. Likewise with Visual Studio and Photoshop, which I need for testing and adding graphics to my games design documentation.
That's coming along well too. Written about 10,000 words so far and barely gotten started. Get these exams out of the way and, apart from some general revision of the material I should probably do before getting into training, I should be able to up that by a few 10's of thousands with a Bestiary and racial definitions.
On series five of Boardwalk Empire. It's a period drama of 1920's prohibition in Atlanta, USA. Just my sort of show too. Intrigue plus lots of violence and a central protagonist who is bad ass because of his wit and intellect. An old time Raymond 'Red' Reddington [The Blacklist]. Speaking of, I'm loving The Blacklist at the moment as well. Just coming to the end of the whole Berlin plotline. G fucking G ending.
Kinda built a sexual thing for Megan Boone who plays agent Keen too. Downloaded, late, The Fappening via torrents some time ago, and checked for her name in there after they showed her in her panties during a scene. Fucking excellent bootie on that women, and there's nudes of her on a bed in one of the volumes of The Fap.
Emily Bett Rickards [more like Emily BUTT Rickards], who played Felicity Smoak in Arrow is fucking gorgeous too. Showed her in PJs in last weeks episode and there couldn't have been a person who's attracted to women watching that who wouldn't have liked her to lose them.
Eliza Taylor in The 100 as well. FUCK.
Series 2 of The 100, the show picked up in quality and they finally explained how the Skypeople and the Grounders survive both the radiation on the ground and the trip from living in space to living on the ground without suffering from all sorts of illnesses. People who're raised their entire lives in bubbles, like space stations, should not have ability to live on Earth in a tropical rainforest. That really did annoy me when watching S01. And at the start of S02 they did nothing but explain how that happened in an acceptable way. And generally the story telling is several times better than it was.
Eliza Taylor though. That women has gotten all kinds of fucking gorgeous in S02. Character aside, who thinks something like me which is way attractive, she's the same age as me but seems to have hit the gym or something because it's so hard not to imagine her totally butt naked when watching that show. YEESH.
Anyway, new ep of The Blacklist has finished downloading so I'm gonna go watch it and eat dinner. Revise after. That's what I should be doing.
Tomorrow, sign on, revise, and get to the college on Thursday in good order...yeah...that's what's going to happen...sure... O_O
...have a good one.
Showing posts with label todo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label todo. Show all posts
11/11/2014
12/10/2014
The Best Ones Always Show Up The Day After Tomorrow...
Howdy. I guess the nerves hadn't woken up yesterday because most of my muscles are currently complaining about their ill treatment. -.-
... *spends some time staring out of the window in McDonalds* ...
Lady friend has apparently caused more damage to herself. Torn something which sounds like an integral part of her organs and infection has returned or something. Last week the thing that's meant to be healing her or something was dislodged and she opted not to go back to the hospital, mostly, I think, because her friend was visiting this weekend. This is probably going to result in major surgery next week because some holes will have healed up.
I'm too tired to care very much really. Not a very cleaver thing to do, ignoring your doctors and gaining even more hospital time and yet more down time healing.
So there's that.
Why is it that the only mentally compatible individual I've met this one that seems intent on hurting herself...
I'm once again parked in McDonalds. Just for today, and then tomorrow I'm going to the library once I've paid rent, done laundry and shaved my head. Not storing anything more in that damn hostel fridge. Four different thefts occurred this week; two of butter, an entire loaf of bread and four large potatoes.
Started rewriting my computer games thesis in Google Drive along the lines of a technical manual. Think I said yesterday...or I just tweeted it...could be, but anyway, I've organized it into 3 sections - front/body/back matter - in accordance with some of the principles of the Wikipedia article on Book Design. The front and back sections mirror each other with contents/index and so forth. The body section is the big one.
I was just going to write the books content into ad hoc articles and then publish it at the end of the year, which is essentially what I plan on doing still, only modified, and then add to that for the 2015 edition, Doing it this way will build it into a compendium on games design which grows like a fungus and stays current with modern theories and methods for implementation. This is especially handy if I write anything platform or kit specific which is highly transitory and only temporarily relevant to how the industry does it.
I say my method of construction is modified because yesterday I realized how I had set up the thesis and decided to use the same methodology again.
The basic tenant of how to design games in my literal book is that you start with analysis of what already exists. This is to say that you need some way of categorizing computer games which exist right now so your contribution to the industry has a defined type and you can then check out other titles of the same type for general structure, what worked and what didn't, and then implement the best subsystems into your game.
So the way I've laid the book out is so the first section is Analysis [Categorization] which firstly serves to outline the virtual shell of all computer games [there really is an almost (note almost as there are, of course, exceptions) uniform structure to all games as you essentially require the same functionality in the same general format regardless of your game], then secondly follows that up with a redefinition of genre identification [which includes only 5 genre's with subgenres for categorizing anything more specific, and definitively does not include the fucking Action or Adventure genres, which are blatant misnomers carried over from the TV and Movie industry where they are in fact apt].
The next five sections then serve to identify and categorize the various systems and information which are iconic to any given genre. The Strategy [Information] section for example serves to identify the base quantified attributes of anything and everything within a virtual interactive environment - what, why, when, where, who, and how essentially. Then the Roleplaying [Setting] section serves to identify the representation of those attributes in a presented form - the last section quantifies the figures, whilst this one presents it graphically. Platforming [Environs], Racing [Interface], and Combat [Interactions] build upon these principles until you have a fully functional virtual interactive system. To change the game you just need to define or not define where the goal posts are in terms of need and objective.
I'm still kind of unpacking information from the back of my personal library - think of it like unlocking layered zip files...seriously, I write one layer down in Google Docs and then a few more zip files decompress and dump a fuck ton of information back into the forefront of my consciousness. Apparently that's how my brain does business. It stores absolutely everything but so as not to drive me bugfuck insane it compresses a fuckton [which are proper units of measurement don't cha know] of it and puts it in storage until I try to recall it and then it spools back out into active memory. Yesterday when I started the process of recall and documentation it felt like someone was frying my forebrain with electrodes and I went to bed with a headache.
The human brain is an amazing place, and either mine's a special one or other people just don't try to think about the world around them. :P
Gonna go widdle, have a drink, play a few matches of Hearthstone and then focus on getting the last of my coursework done. I'm probably just tired and not especially in high spirits due to the crappy food and caffeine I've been getting lately [if healthy veggies and a fuckton of pasta can be considered crappy anyway].
Get some proper fruit, cheese, bread and stuff tomorrow, some Monster Assault, and start revising for my exam resit. That's the ticket. And focus on getting into the police force. My lady friend's activities are her own concern for now. I've always thought it was too soon to be so focused on one person, but she's the only one around who seems to give a shit about me at the moment so.
That's the point really. For all the women and a few men who've shown sexual interest at me over the last few weeks, only one has shown real concern and offered to buy me food, rather than what I could give them. She might be a bit silly, not traditionally the type of girl I'm interested in physically, and not nearly on my level mentally, but she puts up with my batshit crazy and actually gives a flying fuck about my well being.
At the end of the day, what matters more?
See you on and on...
... *spends some time staring out of the window in McDonalds* ...
Lady friend has apparently caused more damage to herself. Torn something which sounds like an integral part of her organs and infection has returned or something. Last week the thing that's meant to be healing her or something was dislodged and she opted not to go back to the hospital, mostly, I think, because her friend was visiting this weekend. This is probably going to result in major surgery next week because some holes will have healed up.
I'm too tired to care very much really. Not a very cleaver thing to do, ignoring your doctors and gaining even more hospital time and yet more down time healing.
So there's that.
Why is it that the only mentally compatible individual I've met this one that seems intent on hurting herself...
I'm once again parked in McDonalds. Just for today, and then tomorrow I'm going to the library once I've paid rent, done laundry and shaved my head. Not storing anything more in that damn hostel fridge. Four different thefts occurred this week; two of butter, an entire loaf of bread and four large potatoes.
Started rewriting my computer games thesis in Google Drive along the lines of a technical manual. Think I said yesterday...or I just tweeted it...could be, but anyway, I've organized it into 3 sections - front/body/back matter - in accordance with some of the principles of the Wikipedia article on Book Design. The front and back sections mirror each other with contents/index and so forth. The body section is the big one.
I was just going to write the books content into ad hoc articles and then publish it at the end of the year, which is essentially what I plan on doing still, only modified, and then add to that for the 2015 edition, Doing it this way will build it into a compendium on games design which grows like a fungus and stays current with modern theories and methods for implementation. This is especially handy if I write anything platform or kit specific which is highly transitory and only temporarily relevant to how the industry does it.
I say my method of construction is modified because yesterday I realized how I had set up the thesis and decided to use the same methodology again.
The basic tenant of how to design games in my literal book is that you start with analysis of what already exists. This is to say that you need some way of categorizing computer games which exist right now so your contribution to the industry has a defined type and you can then check out other titles of the same type for general structure, what worked and what didn't, and then implement the best subsystems into your game.
So the way I've laid the book out is so the first section is Analysis [Categorization] which firstly serves to outline the virtual shell of all computer games [there really is an almost (note almost as there are, of course, exceptions) uniform structure to all games as you essentially require the same functionality in the same general format regardless of your game], then secondly follows that up with a redefinition of genre identification [which includes only 5 genre's with subgenres for categorizing anything more specific, and definitively does not include the fucking Action or Adventure genres, which are blatant misnomers carried over from the TV and Movie industry where they are in fact apt].
The next five sections then serve to identify and categorize the various systems and information which are iconic to any given genre. The Strategy [Information] section for example serves to identify the base quantified attributes of anything and everything within a virtual interactive environment - what, why, when, where, who, and how essentially. Then the Roleplaying [Setting] section serves to identify the representation of those attributes in a presented form - the last section quantifies the figures, whilst this one presents it graphically. Platforming [Environs], Racing [Interface], and Combat [Interactions] build upon these principles until you have a fully functional virtual interactive system. To change the game you just need to define or not define where the goal posts are in terms of need and objective.
I'm still kind of unpacking information from the back of my personal library - think of it like unlocking layered zip files...seriously, I write one layer down in Google Docs and then a few more zip files decompress and dump a fuck ton of information back into the forefront of my consciousness. Apparently that's how my brain does business. It stores absolutely everything but so as not to drive me bugfuck insane it compresses a fuckton [which are proper units of measurement don't cha know] of it and puts it in storage until I try to recall it and then it spools back out into active memory. Yesterday when I started the process of recall and documentation it felt like someone was frying my forebrain with electrodes and I went to bed with a headache.
The human brain is an amazing place, and either mine's a special one or other people just don't try to think about the world around them. :P
Gonna go widdle, have a drink, play a few matches of Hearthstone and then focus on getting the last of my coursework done. I'm probably just tired and not especially in high spirits due to the crappy food and caffeine I've been getting lately [if healthy veggies and a fuckton of pasta can be considered crappy anyway].
Get some proper fruit, cheese, bread and stuff tomorrow, some Monster Assault, and start revising for my exam resit. That's the ticket. And focus on getting into the police force. My lady friend's activities are her own concern for now. I've always thought it was too soon to be so focused on one person, but she's the only one around who seems to give a shit about me at the moment so.
That's the point really. For all the women and a few men who've shown sexual interest at me over the last few weeks, only one has shown real concern and offered to buy me food, rather than what I could give them. She might be a bit silly, not traditionally the type of girl I'm interested in physically, and not nearly on my level mentally, but she puts up with my batshit crazy and actually gives a flying fuck about my well being.
At the end of the day, what matters more?
See you on and on...
11/10/2014
Ouchies from Running, and A Journal of Computer Games RnD
Good afternoon people, I hurts in places I didn't even know I had places.
Apparently when you do a fuckton of fast walking, take a few days off, catch up on your sleep, and eat a lot pasta, you heal up and get a LOT stronger. I surmise this on the basis that I went running last night, took flight on the first length, then my lungs tried to implode before the second because my muscles can outpace my ability to take in oxygen and expel carbon dioxide, and then I made the full length of the run at a pace higher than normal without really thinking about it.
The effect of this is to leave me in quite a bit of pain today because I basically pushed muscle and bone weighing 90 kilos 20 miles at speeds most people ride bicycles at. xD
It was a fucking good run, I now just feel like a ton of zombie bits held together with caffeine.
Just parked in McDonalds instead of the library today so I can download some stuff the library blocks and stay here most of the day instead of going home at 17:00.
Listening to some Muse, the 2nd Law, which I've never heard before. Their older stuff, like Hysteria, was better than their newer stuff where they went more majestically epic instead of developing their harsher rage and screamo stuff but I'm always willing to give a band a second chance. That said the last and final My Chemical Romance album was dreadful apart from two songs and they decided to shut down the band before they totally crashed and burned in my view.
Anyway, plan on getting several hours of college work done today as soon as I'm done writing this and constructing the formatting for my new Computer Games Design journal in Google Drive.
I keep meaning to write my thesis and publish it as a technical manual on the basics of proper and correct computer games design, but asides from lacking the time to put my effort into it I keep losing it to computer's breaking down and running out of money to pay for the website where it's hosted or whatever.
Google Drive is a cloud service though and it's tied to a 'professional' email address I've held with Google for several years, and this time I'm not trying to write a formalized publication.
Given the ongoing persistence I've displayed with this blog [apart from when I lacked a PC or PC like object and this became a pain in the ass to update on a regular basis] this time I'm going for an A5 and design formatted [see Wikipedia link below] document in Google Drive which I update daily with articles on various games design topics. Then on a yearly basis I can publish or disassemble that document and reassemble the content into an organized industry journal on the subject.
Meanwhile I regularly produce volumes of research for the industry to make use of, gain a continual stream of revenue from their publications, and construct a portfolio of work from their writing.
If I ever wish to actually work in the industry, even as a consultant as I dislike working on singular projects as they're usually too narrow to hold my interest, few heads of few studios would turn me away if I slapped down on their desk half a dozen thick volumes covered in quotes by industry vets saying things like 'this man literally wrote the book on games design'...alright, that might be blowing my own brass horn on the subject but I do know what I talk about when I talk about games design.
So there's that.
My lady friend is currently shacked up in a hotel room with her man friend.
One of her sentences included the line "He has nipped out to get some lunch so I'm sprawling out on the bed" and that she was sore, which my paranoia presented me with an image of her laying languidly satisfied after athletic sex and awaiting nourishment. Probably not that, like, at all, but that's paranoia for you.
I like my paranoia. Given the universe I occupy, and the planet I'm on, and the species I belong to, it's a wise and friendly adviser. But in this case I have little choice but to accept what she says as the truth because it's not like I can find out otherwise. *shrug*
...yeesh, I am totally running out of gas and I've only been here 2 hours. More caffeine I think but I'm done here.
Switched back to Kraddy about 2-3 songs into that Muse album because it was bland drivel and Kraddy's baselines sync with my soul. :P
Couple of matches of Hearthstone, polish off the formatting of my games design journal and then do college coursework till around 11 tonight. More of the same tomorrow.
Bai peeps.
Apparently when you do a fuckton of fast walking, take a few days off, catch up on your sleep, and eat a lot pasta, you heal up and get a LOT stronger. I surmise this on the basis that I went running last night, took flight on the first length, then my lungs tried to implode before the second because my muscles can outpace my ability to take in oxygen and expel carbon dioxide, and then I made the full length of the run at a pace higher than normal without really thinking about it.
The effect of this is to leave me in quite a bit of pain today because I basically pushed muscle and bone weighing 90 kilos 20 miles at speeds most people ride bicycles at. xD
It was a fucking good run, I now just feel like a ton of zombie bits held together with caffeine.
Just parked in McDonalds instead of the library today so I can download some stuff the library blocks and stay here most of the day instead of going home at 17:00.
Listening to some Muse, the 2nd Law, which I've never heard before. Their older stuff, like Hysteria, was better than their newer stuff where they went more majestically epic instead of developing their harsher rage and screamo stuff but I'm always willing to give a band a second chance. That said the last and final My Chemical Romance album was dreadful apart from two songs and they decided to shut down the band before they totally crashed and burned in my view.
Anyway, plan on getting several hours of college work done today as soon as I'm done writing this and constructing the formatting for my new Computer Games Design journal in Google Drive.
I keep meaning to write my thesis and publish it as a technical manual on the basics of proper and correct computer games design, but asides from lacking the time to put my effort into it I keep losing it to computer's breaking down and running out of money to pay for the website where it's hosted or whatever.
Google Drive is a cloud service though and it's tied to a 'professional' email address I've held with Google for several years, and this time I'm not trying to write a formalized publication.
Given the ongoing persistence I've displayed with this blog [apart from when I lacked a PC or PC like object and this became a pain in the ass to update on a regular basis] this time I'm going for an A5 and design formatted [see Wikipedia link below] document in Google Drive which I update daily with articles on various games design topics. Then on a yearly basis I can publish or disassemble that document and reassemble the content into an organized industry journal on the subject.
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_design
Meanwhile I regularly produce volumes of research for the industry to make use of, gain a continual stream of revenue from their publications, and construct a portfolio of work from their writing.
If I ever wish to actually work in the industry, even as a consultant as I dislike working on singular projects as they're usually too narrow to hold my interest, few heads of few studios would turn me away if I slapped down on their desk half a dozen thick volumes covered in quotes by industry vets saying things like 'this man literally wrote the book on games design'...alright, that might be blowing my own brass horn on the subject but I do know what I talk about when I talk about games design.
So there's that.
My lady friend is currently shacked up in a hotel room with her man friend.
One of her sentences included the line "He has nipped out to get some lunch so I'm sprawling out on the bed" and that she was sore, which my paranoia presented me with an image of her laying languidly satisfied after athletic sex and awaiting nourishment. Probably not that, like, at all, but that's paranoia for you.
I like my paranoia. Given the universe I occupy, and the planet I'm on, and the species I belong to, it's a wise and friendly adviser. But in this case I have little choice but to accept what she says as the truth because it's not like I can find out otherwise. *shrug*
...yeesh, I am totally running out of gas and I've only been here 2 hours. More caffeine I think but I'm done here.
Switched back to Kraddy about 2-3 songs into that Muse album because it was bland drivel and Kraddy's baselines sync with my soul. :P
Couple of matches of Hearthstone, polish off the formatting of my games design journal and then do college coursework till around 11 tonight. More of the same tomorrow.
Bai peeps.
10/10/2014
New Levels of Paranoia and How To Get Goods for Online Stores...
Friday.
Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday...I didn't write that for funzies, I actually thought that, in varying tones of suspicion, because who doesn't suspect something everyone else claims is just awesomesauce?
Not much happened since last I posted.
Had a very large dinner after buying some more potatoes and bread, which I'm keeping in a metal draw built into the framework of the 3 layer bunk bed in my room in the hostel to prevent thieves from taking it.
Settled a concern with my lady friend over an incident with her ex where he's now harassing her, and she's reported him to the police, and I advised her, and checked my advice with my certificate in basic policing tutor, and he told me that my advice was good, and GG basically.
Told my lady friend I was jealous of her [which I am because he's like a better version of myself, or luckier anyway] and she made an effort to get closer to me and I gave her my phone number and that, and another bond got formed basically. Right now I'm just organizing nudes and things from her in places so I'm horny as hell besides. Either I need more pics/vids or I need her naked on my lap, one of the two.
Would do more about that, but she's still mid way through hospitalization and recovery and I'm still fighting my way through ridiculous bullshit to get into the police, so it has to wait. I'm thinking though that if I can sort things out by new years then maybe we can ring in the new year with a BANG, so to speak, hehe.
Then I downloaded S08E04-8 and watched them last night and this morning. Pretty good. More or less. Like the new Doctor. Got a few laughs out of the last episode, which is noteworthy because I laugh maybe once a month because I'm a cynical bastard and too intelligent to find all that much humorous.
Then I got the library and am updating this before doing quizzes and then going running tonight. My freaking right hip/thigh muscle hurts, and think I damaged something over the last week or so. The pain will probably vanish once I get going tonight, I've had enough food, so if it is debilitating I'll simply not run until next Wednesday or something, skip Monday, and see if that helps. It's probably nothing though.
Onto today's topic then; selling merch bought at auction houses on eBay.
A while back, when I was staying in the last hostel I was in, before I had a laptop to download TV, I watched broadcast TV whilst I was eating breakfast and given that it was daytime and I'm a fully fledged adult now, I enjoyed watching shows about airport staff and security operations, like luggage inspection.
A part of one of these shows, I forget which, included a segment on lost luggage and abandoned airplane cargo, which they were selling in publicly accessible auctions.
A Google search later and I found out that auction houses in London represent airports - Hearthrow and Gatwick being the local two - in selling their lost and abandoned swag to the public.
I always wondered how people on eBay and Amazon were able to sell their products so cheaply and where the hell they acquired the goods seeing as the wholesalers and actual manufacturers charged a litteral fuckton of coin to acquire anything, and always sell in bulk quantities.
Turns out, this is probably how. They simply find an auction house which sells this lost and abandoned but perfectly brand new and box sealed product that no owner claimed and no owner is traceable, then buy it for a fraction of it's value [the free SPACE on their property is worth more to the airports than the product is I think, which they were paid to move and keep safe to begin with in any case] and then the new owner sells it online for a 90% mark up.
They can't choose what, they can't choose how much, and they sometimes don't even know if it works.
The goods are sold on sight valuation, that is, someone glances at them, identifies what's sitting there to make sure it's not drugs or weapons or whatever, and then sells it without knowledge of operational status.
However it's a fair bet that inside the box is what's printed outside, you can sometimes get single items, sometimes incomplete items [laptops sans hard drives for example] and sometimes a stack of mint condition product.
It's a fucking epic deal for all concerned - the airports get rid of it at a profit, the buyer sells the product for a huge profit, and everybody wins...well, except the idiot or unforunate chap who lost it in the transportation network anyway, but we don't know who the hell that is.
So, that's what I plan on doing, and if anyone wants in on the game, go Google search auction houses which sell lost and/or abandoned goods from airports in your local big city.
I still don't know how much money it takes to enter play, but by the looks of it just a hundred or so is enough to pick up something cheap but valuable enough to make a few hundred back.
It's something I've always wanted to do; sell stuff online and then buy shop space somewhere. Be one of the links in the chain of provisioning people with products. Be a merchant, basically. But I've never had the money or sources of product to do it. I'm a thinker, not a trader unfortunately.
Nothing says I can't do it as a hobby though. The game designer's form of gambling perhaps. It's one of those things, like making an anthology novels using other peoples work, that I'd like to invest some time and energy in when I have the ability to do so.
And this means I need to gain the resources from elsewhere, such as police work.
Which incidentally, I should be doing right now.
When the time comes I'll post more on this because win or lose it should at least be interesting.
The future holds for me college quiz work, then running, dinner, more college quizzes tomorrow and Sunday, then Monday rent, organize acom for next week, laundry, and revising for the resits that I organized yesterday with my certificate in basic policing course tutor [a different guy to the admin tutor I had a go at last week].
YUP.
OH: Also going to try and arrange some internet time for voice or video with my lady friend. She wanted to cyber sex last weekend but I don't have the ICT resources. I mean, seriously, get to know some people because I've found a highly sexual babe who enjoys being tied up and orgasm tortured and has a really cuddly personality. Fun times are ahead, but you need to meet some peeps to get this stuff, even if you ordinarily hate humanity.
Bai bai.
Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday...I didn't write that for funzies, I actually thought that, in varying tones of suspicion, because who doesn't suspect something everyone else claims is just awesomesauce?
Not much happened since last I posted.
Had a very large dinner after buying some more potatoes and bread, which I'm keeping in a metal draw built into the framework of the 3 layer bunk bed in my room in the hostel to prevent thieves from taking it.
Settled a concern with my lady friend over an incident with her ex where he's now harassing her, and she's reported him to the police, and I advised her, and checked my advice with my certificate in basic policing tutor, and he told me that my advice was good, and GG basically.
Told my lady friend I was jealous of her [which I am because he's like a better version of myself, or luckier anyway] and she made an effort to get closer to me and I gave her my phone number and that, and another bond got formed basically. Right now I'm just organizing nudes and things from her in places so I'm horny as hell besides. Either I need more pics/vids or I need her naked on my lap, one of the two.
Would do more about that, but she's still mid way through hospitalization and recovery and I'm still fighting my way through ridiculous bullshit to get into the police, so it has to wait. I'm thinking though that if I can sort things out by new years then maybe we can ring in the new year with a BANG, so to speak, hehe.
Then I downloaded S08E04-8 and watched them last night and this morning. Pretty good. More or less. Like the new Doctor. Got a few laughs out of the last episode, which is noteworthy because I laugh maybe once a month because I'm a cynical bastard and too intelligent to find all that much humorous.
Then I got the library and am updating this before doing quizzes and then going running tonight. My freaking right hip/thigh muscle hurts, and think I damaged something over the last week or so. The pain will probably vanish once I get going tonight, I've had enough food, so if it is debilitating I'll simply not run until next Wednesday or something, skip Monday, and see if that helps. It's probably nothing though.
Onto today's topic then; selling merch bought at auction houses on eBay.
A while back, when I was staying in the last hostel I was in, before I had a laptop to download TV, I watched broadcast TV whilst I was eating breakfast and given that it was daytime and I'm a fully fledged adult now, I enjoyed watching shows about airport staff and security operations, like luggage inspection.
A part of one of these shows, I forget which, included a segment on lost luggage and abandoned airplane cargo, which they were selling in publicly accessible auctions.
A Google search later and I found out that auction houses in London represent airports - Hearthrow and Gatwick being the local two - in selling their lost and abandoned swag to the public.
I always wondered how people on eBay and Amazon were able to sell their products so cheaply and where the hell they acquired the goods seeing as the wholesalers and actual manufacturers charged a litteral fuckton of coin to acquire anything, and always sell in bulk quantities.
Turns out, this is probably how. They simply find an auction house which sells this lost and abandoned but perfectly brand new and box sealed product that no owner claimed and no owner is traceable, then buy it for a fraction of it's value [the free SPACE on their property is worth more to the airports than the product is I think, which they were paid to move and keep safe to begin with in any case] and then the new owner sells it online for a 90% mark up.
They can't choose what, they can't choose how much, and they sometimes don't even know if it works.
The goods are sold on sight valuation, that is, someone glances at them, identifies what's sitting there to make sure it's not drugs or weapons or whatever, and then sells it without knowledge of operational status.
However it's a fair bet that inside the box is what's printed outside, you can sometimes get single items, sometimes incomplete items [laptops sans hard drives for example] and sometimes a stack of mint condition product.
It's a fucking epic deal for all concerned - the airports get rid of it at a profit, the buyer sells the product for a huge profit, and everybody wins...well, except the idiot or unforunate chap who lost it in the transportation network anyway, but we don't know who the hell that is.
So, that's what I plan on doing, and if anyone wants in on the game, go Google search auction houses which sell lost and/or abandoned goods from airports in your local big city.
I still don't know how much money it takes to enter play, but by the looks of it just a hundred or so is enough to pick up something cheap but valuable enough to make a few hundred back.
It's something I've always wanted to do; sell stuff online and then buy shop space somewhere. Be one of the links in the chain of provisioning people with products. Be a merchant, basically. But I've never had the money or sources of product to do it. I'm a thinker, not a trader unfortunately.
Nothing says I can't do it as a hobby though. The game designer's form of gambling perhaps. It's one of those things, like making an anthology novels using other peoples work, that I'd like to invest some time and energy in when I have the ability to do so.
And this means I need to gain the resources from elsewhere, such as police work.
Which incidentally, I should be doing right now.
When the time comes I'll post more on this because win or lose it should at least be interesting.
The future holds for me college quiz work, then running, dinner, more college quizzes tomorrow and Sunday, then Monday rent, organize acom for next week, laundry, and revising for the resits that I organized yesterday with my certificate in basic policing course tutor [a different guy to the admin tutor I had a go at last week].
YUP.
OH: Also going to try and arrange some internet time for voice or video with my lady friend. She wanted to cyber sex last weekend but I don't have the ICT resources. I mean, seriously, get to know some people because I've found a highly sexual babe who enjoys being tied up and orgasm tortured and has a really cuddly personality. Fun times are ahead, but you need to meet some peeps to get this stuff, even if you ordinarily hate humanity.
Bai bai.
05/10/2014
And Here We Are...
Well, that's one way to do things I guess.
Got in on Friday, went straight to bed without eating anything and slept hard for 12:30 hours. Woke up, ate a fuck ton of bacon and tomato pasta, showered, half shaved, ate another fuck ton of tomato and bacon pasta, flirted some with crush who's just started to report her physically and mentally abusive ex to the police [...I'm a hot smart guy and the sanest nicest girl I've had an ongoing conversation and flirtation with in almost 30 years of existence is attractive, online, and has some sort of kidney syndrome and has been tortured by her exs... *pauses and reflects on life for a bit*...that sounds like my life alright...], crashed back into bed for another 12 hours and found my iPhone had been unplugged about five minuets after I passed out because someone else just OH SO NEEDED to use my fucking charger and didn't have the fucking manners to plug mine back in after they collected their device some 11 hours ago, so charged it and went to finish off my hygienic routine.
Now showered, shaved, brushed, dressed, looking forward to tomorrow when I'll have another handful of coin to buy food with, and sitting in McDonalds, slightly paranoid about the staff either a] freaking that I'm downloading audiobook torrents [I bought my library 2 PC's ago, and I refuse to pay for that shit again, even if I had the fucking money] or b] kicking me out for not ordering food because firstly I lack funds and secondly the library is shut today so I can't go there and use the wifi.
And yes, you can download torrents on public networks which block torrent websites and proxy websites. All you need is a phone with an internet browser that can access the torrent websites [they don't block them on phones as you can't download a torrent client like uTorrent so there's no point], then you copy the magnet link off the page and email it to yourself, access your email on your laptop, copy the magnet link, go into uTorrent, click on menu, insert torrent from magnet link, paste, enter, and then wait as you get 1mb per second speed per torrent on their network, hahaha. :P
Like I said, I've no issue with torrents. Mostly because I use them, as now, to rebuild my library of media that I paid for and downloaded years ago. But also because the fact is that people who subscribe to TV services [Sky, Netflix, whatever] and are stupid enough or morale enough to pay for copies of the media have already paid for the TV I download, AND the people who produce copies of the media itself overcharge for it in a rather greedy manner [go check out the prices of Star Trek episodes, long since paid off for production costs, and you'll see that they're priced like brand new modern TV shows].
I hate most computer games [despite being something of an expert in their design, or should I say BECAUSE I'm an expert in their design] so I don't rip those off, and the last music I bought was Linkin Park's newest, which I paid for, simply because I'm not a big music fan. And movies I see in a cinema for about £5.00 each, not including snax, and never watch them more than once.
That only leaves software, which, let's face it, is only actually cost effective if you're a business. MS Office should be included in Windows like Firefox and Windows Media Player [efficient effective software that gets the job done], Photoshop ain't fucking worth £1000.00, ditto for MS Visual Studio, and beyond those I don't usually use much else to write games thesis info [back when I had time to busy myself with such things] and keep my online ID portfolio reasonable [the ID which isn't connected to this blog].
In my book it isn't media piracy if you can't afford to pay for the product or those selling it over charge for it or, as is the case with TV, if you had a TV and a widely available HDD-TV-Rec device you could pay 30 a month and record several entire series onto the box for about £5.00 each or less.
Call it a crass rationalization if ya like, but I'm happy with it and no one complains to me about it, probably because a] I'm not a torrent website, and b] I'm not even a drop in the sea of people who do it.
Given my shitty existence, this is the least the world owes me in my opinion.
Anyway, back to reality; I feels a lot better than I did, I'm going to go do some college work next, more tomorrow and possibly some on Tuesday depending on when this recruitment company call me to meet an employer. Unlike the end of Friday I'm much better set up physically and mentally to deal with that shit now so that's OK. Just got to try to get my college work done ASAP and hope the Police still have some room to take me by the time I get the work done.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still fucking livid, I still find this bullshit unfair, and if anyone asks me anything I let them know all about it because usually the person asking has fucking contributed to this shitstorm [looking at you Lambeth fucking College], but like I said over the last couple of days, no one gives a flying fuck, they just tell me to do things and I try to do em.
All I can do is try to make progress and hope my efforts go some ways to moving me out from under this flying crap.
Think I'm about done here, or at least I've run out of stuff to type. Going to go play a little Hearthstone, murder two black women who're laughing LOUDLY two seats over, and do college work till around 10 tonight, get up and pay rent, do laundry, and then go the library and do more college work until I get a phone call.
On and on and on...
Got in on Friday, went straight to bed without eating anything and slept hard for 12:30 hours. Woke up, ate a fuck ton of bacon and tomato pasta, showered, half shaved, ate another fuck ton of tomato and bacon pasta, flirted some with crush who's just started to report her physically and mentally abusive ex to the police [...I'm a hot smart guy and the sanest nicest girl I've had an ongoing conversation and flirtation with in almost 30 years of existence is attractive, online, and has some sort of kidney syndrome and has been tortured by her exs... *pauses and reflects on life for a bit*...that sounds like my life alright...], crashed back into bed for another 12 hours and found my iPhone had been unplugged about five minuets after I passed out because someone else just OH SO NEEDED to use my fucking charger and didn't have the fucking manners to plug mine back in after they collected their device some 11 hours ago, so charged it and went to finish off my hygienic routine.
Now showered, shaved, brushed, dressed, looking forward to tomorrow when I'll have another handful of coin to buy food with, and sitting in McDonalds, slightly paranoid about the staff either a] freaking that I'm downloading audiobook torrents [I bought my library 2 PC's ago, and I refuse to pay for that shit again, even if I had the fucking money] or b] kicking me out for not ordering food because firstly I lack funds and secondly the library is shut today so I can't go there and use the wifi.
And yes, you can download torrents on public networks which block torrent websites and proxy websites. All you need is a phone with an internet browser that can access the torrent websites [they don't block them on phones as you can't download a torrent client like uTorrent so there's no point], then you copy the magnet link off the page and email it to yourself, access your email on your laptop, copy the magnet link, go into uTorrent, click on menu, insert torrent from magnet link, paste, enter, and then wait as you get 1mb per second speed per torrent on their network, hahaha. :P
Like I said, I've no issue with torrents. Mostly because I use them, as now, to rebuild my library of media that I paid for and downloaded years ago. But also because the fact is that people who subscribe to TV services [Sky, Netflix, whatever] and are stupid enough or morale enough to pay for copies of the media have already paid for the TV I download, AND the people who produce copies of the media itself overcharge for it in a rather greedy manner [go check out the prices of Star Trek episodes, long since paid off for production costs, and you'll see that they're priced like brand new modern TV shows].
I hate most computer games [despite being something of an expert in their design, or should I say BECAUSE I'm an expert in their design] so I don't rip those off, and the last music I bought was Linkin Park's newest, which I paid for, simply because I'm not a big music fan. And movies I see in a cinema for about £5.00 each, not including snax, and never watch them more than once.
That only leaves software, which, let's face it, is only actually cost effective if you're a business. MS Office should be included in Windows like Firefox and Windows Media Player [efficient effective software that gets the job done], Photoshop ain't fucking worth £1000.00, ditto for MS Visual Studio, and beyond those I don't usually use much else to write games thesis info [back when I had time to busy myself with such things] and keep my online ID portfolio reasonable [the ID which isn't connected to this blog].
In my book it isn't media piracy if you can't afford to pay for the product or those selling it over charge for it or, as is the case with TV, if you had a TV and a widely available HDD-TV-Rec device you could pay 30 a month and record several entire series onto the box for about £5.00 each or less.
Call it a crass rationalization if ya like, but I'm happy with it and no one complains to me about it, probably because a] I'm not a torrent website, and b] I'm not even a drop in the sea of people who do it.
Given my shitty existence, this is the least the world owes me in my opinion.
Anyway, back to reality; I feels a lot better than I did, I'm going to go do some college work next, more tomorrow and possibly some on Tuesday depending on when this recruitment company call me to meet an employer. Unlike the end of Friday I'm much better set up physically and mentally to deal with that shit now so that's OK. Just got to try to get my college work done ASAP and hope the Police still have some room to take me by the time I get the work done.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still fucking livid, I still find this bullshit unfair, and if anyone asks me anything I let them know all about it because usually the person asking has fucking contributed to this shitstorm [looking at you Lambeth fucking College], but like I said over the last couple of days, no one gives a flying fuck, they just tell me to do things and I try to do em.
All I can do is try to make progress and hope my efforts go some ways to moving me out from under this flying crap.
Think I'm about done here, or at least I've run out of stuff to type. Going to go play a little Hearthstone, murder two black women who're laughing LOUDLY two seats over, and do college work till around 10 tonight, get up and pay rent, do laundry, and then go the library and do more college work until I get a phone call.
On and on and on...
10/07/2014
On Kakky...
...*long sigh*...
Currently Im up to my nostrils in deep, thick, brown kak.
Can't remember what I posted last about 3 days ago, and Im not going to go check cus its annoying to do so on an iPhone, but this is where I am now:
I've arranged accommodation in a hostel. And except for a slight issue with this weekend I've been able to book it so I can stay here for the whole week concurrently so long as I book a week in advance. I would've booked this with the management, but the assholes who run this reasonably priced place said that they're always fully booked and only do bookings online. Hail the age of automation, where no one can think for themselves and no one cares so long as the money keeps coming in. Trading your humanity for efficiency and the precious, precious coin.
The price of acom changes from week to week, next week being 97 and the following week being 101 for example, and its more than I was paying, and my diet is suffering accordingly, but Ive got enough money to not be hungry.
That's a bed to sleep in and food to eat, the basics anyone needs from day to day.
Now for the shit storm...
My PC broke after I updated my media on my mobile devices on Monday, so I've got only the first 3 Iron Druid Chronicles audiobooks and first 3 Dresden Files until...well some point in the future when I can get a new PC.
I've seen cheap laptops running Windows XP on Gumtree and that would do to let me download my audiobooks and that from places like Audible, I just need to find 50-75 quid from somewhere to make everything a lot more bearable.
Asides from this, I obviously can't do any college work in the hostel, only at the college itself. I should be there right now but I exhausted myself running across central London yesterday to check in with the job centre and don't feel like moving, much less running for an hour south to the college campus.
(My music player ran out of battery shortly before I went out the door, so Im writing this and charging it.)
And due to one of those stupid protocol before sense situations, again, again, I could find that the money I'm using to sleep indoors and eat with could vanish, and the first I would hear about it would be the same day I need to spend it. It just depends on how much attention people are paying to me.
This is fucking hilarious because the only time people ever pay me any attention is to fuck my shit up. When I really need help they ignore me, but when I need them to ignore me to help me they might as well be The Demon with 10,000 eyes.
If I'm ignored for 8-10 weeks, and I do my college work, then at best I'll be hired by the police, job done. And the training pay, which is greater than full time, will allow me to get proper accommodation and a life.
If not then I may, at worst, end up homeless and unable to finish my certification and therefore unemployed and on the street.
The phrase 'Dangerous Game' comes to mind. The one bright spot is that there's only a slim chance that the shit will hit the fan, but given that this is my life I'm expecting it to go to shit in about 3 and a half days.
I'm doing nothing illegal you understand, its just the nature of the government aid that at one and the same time is propping up my pathetic excuse for an existence and may snuff it out in passing if I'm not careful.
My aim currently is to get my college work done and maintain my acom, and that's it.
8-10 weeks of learning policing, being bored out of my skull, and worrying about my position collapsing and then Ill be employed with the money to take care of everything.
Just have to make it that far. The finish line. The boss battle. The last mile. It's a bitch. But at least it'll be the end, one way or the other.
Because if this shit falls apart I'm walking into fucking traffic the day after.
03/07/2014
On Resolution...
Evening.
Good news bad news day today [heh, I can write].
Woke up and ate scrambled eggs on toast with the odd mod that the egg was simply whisked before being microwaved and more like an egg stake than scrambled.
Played three matches of TOME: Immortal Arena to wake up and scored well with the new champions on free rotation [I've only been able to buy 2 so far]. Their Wizard, their Angel and their Pyromage. I love the champion functionality in the game, even if they are individually mostly just variations on a theme. The themes are good, so their variations are fun. Taking bloody ages to level up though and I want access to their version of runes and masteries.
---
Then got an email from the medical department of the MPS.
On the one hand it sounds like I've passed the Day 2 and will be getting into training, which is good. I'm choosing to take it that the fucking fitness instructor didn't detonate my fucking application.
On the other hand they told me I need to hand in a form from my GP before they can offer me a place, which I've got signed and passed but can't get from them because the thing costs £20, which isn't much but I've just been evicted and need new accommodation which I'll be lucky to get with the money I've got.
I pass the Day 2 despite a chest infection, I pass my exam despite flu, I get through the weekend from hell only to be evicted the following weekend, whereupon I need £20 for a doctors form and need to find somewhere new to live despite having two more exams on the weekend.
THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY THE WORLD HATES ME PEOPLE. :O
Last summer this wouldn't have been an issue for me. I could've paid everything and I was healthy and had no money troubles. This summer it's just one thing after another, making any given task I need to complete a fucking bitch.
And the worst part is that I still have to do it.
I have to move and hope I can find somewhere new to live. I have to do my college work and pass my exams. I have to find £20 for a fucking signature on a form and hope it's not too late to get into their recruitment round.
And it'll all be for nothing [pain without gain] because in two weeks time it'll be some other nightmare, depend upon it.
The one bright spot here is that, as I said before, I'm learning how to deal with some really stupid shit and bad timing, especially in terms of people management.
At the moment I'm working on finding new acom and passing this weekend's exams. After I've gotten a roof over my head again then I'll deal with the MPS recruitment process.
---
One bright spot is that I woke up this morning and didn't try to cough up my lungs, so the meds that I've been taking every five hours seem to be working. I can even wheeze now without then spending a couple of minuets coughing, which I've not been able to do in three months, so that's nice.
As I said; give me shit to deal with and I'll grab my shovel, but I need my health to do it.
It's amazing though that you spend three months with this persistent health issue and a few pills later and it's almost entirely gone. A drip, a drop of really odd tasting chemicals later [the roid I'm taking is the oddest thing I've ever had in my mouth, Salbutamol Sulphate] and your biology sorts itself out. Amazing.
---
Found a new place to live. It's off on the other side of London in Heathrow, near the airport, but it's close to the MPS offices where I'm doing my testing and the same distance from the college campus where I'm doing my certification course, so that's alright.
Only costs £70.00 per week with two weeks deposit too. A bit of an issue with that I'm not currently employed, but I've got a viewing tomorrow and I think he'll understand about me being on benefits for two more months before working for the police service.
It's this place or moving into a hostel on Sunday anyway as I've got to be out on Monday.
£70 a week should be fine, it'll give me extra money to sort myself out for now, and I rarely go out so with the Barclay's cycle hire service I should be able to make the distance a few times a week to my regular check in with the benefits office and to get to college so I'm sure it'll be OK.
I could use the exercise besides given that I had to stop running for the last several months due to this chest infection. Need to get my fitness back up before training.
---
This hot mess is out on the 17th of July. :D
The first Planet of the Apes movie was really well written and entertaining, so I'm expecting great things of this. I'm going to go see it at Peckhamplex in Packham London. £7 for fucking 3D viewing. Never go to those overpriced fucking Odeons.
I'm erudite. I'm intelligent. I'm learned. It's one of my key aspects. If you ask me to describe myself, somewhere in the list of characterizing locution is going to be the word 'Genius'.
And I like Michael Bay's fucking movies.
I watch them because sometimes I enjoy two or three hours of TICK, TICK, BEWM. I'm not expecting Shakespeare, I'm expecting bullets and fireballs and would be angry if I didn't get it.
Like the man said in response to critique: "I make movies for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime." And I might be bordering on 30 but as is well known, the first step to wisdom is to perceive as a small child. And I passed that a long time ago, and a part of me, the part that is fed every time I sprint when running, loves the Transformer movies for giant robots kicking the oily crap out of each other.
Stop pooping on the guy for making bad movies people, he gives ya what you pay for. D:
---
That's about it I think. Going to go play a couple of TOME matches and then write up the revision materials for Saturday so I can study them today and tomorrow and probably on the way to my lecture on Saturday.
*rubs palm across head* Ah, maybe I will go shave, THEN deal with college mats, AFTER gaming. Stupid freaking hair.
Today: shave and college work [revision mats first].
Tomorrow: 4pm viewing of property which requires about 3 hours to get to.
Saturday: college lecture and exams.
Sunday: Remove possessions from flat, either into new room or hostel.
Monday: Depends on new room or hostel. If new room, buy foods and do college work. If hostel, find new room and college work.
That's the next few days. Fun, fun, fun...oy vey...
Good news bad news day today [heh, I can write].
Woke up and ate scrambled eggs on toast with the odd mod that the egg was simply whisked before being microwaved and more like an egg stake than scrambled.
Played three matches of TOME: Immortal Arena to wake up and scored well with the new champions on free rotation [I've only been able to buy 2 so far]. Their Wizard, their Angel and their Pyromage. I love the champion functionality in the game, even if they are individually mostly just variations on a theme. The themes are good, so their variations are fun. Taking bloody ages to level up though and I want access to their version of runes and masteries.
---
Then got an email from the medical department of the MPS.
On the one hand it sounds like I've passed the Day 2 and will be getting into training, which is good. I'm choosing to take it that the fucking fitness instructor didn't detonate my fucking application.
On the other hand they told me I need to hand in a form from my GP before they can offer me a place, which I've got signed and passed but can't get from them because the thing costs £20, which isn't much but I've just been evicted and need new accommodation which I'll be lucky to get with the money I've got.
I pass the Day 2 despite a chest infection, I pass my exam despite flu, I get through the weekend from hell only to be evicted the following weekend, whereupon I need £20 for a doctors form and need to find somewhere new to live despite having two more exams on the weekend.
THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY THE WORLD HATES ME PEOPLE. :O
Last summer this wouldn't have been an issue for me. I could've paid everything and I was healthy and had no money troubles. This summer it's just one thing after another, making any given task I need to complete a fucking bitch.
And the worst part is that I still have to do it.
I have to move and hope I can find somewhere new to live. I have to do my college work and pass my exams. I have to find £20 for a fucking signature on a form and hope it's not too late to get into their recruitment round.
And it'll all be for nothing [pain without gain] because in two weeks time it'll be some other nightmare, depend upon it.
The one bright spot here is that, as I said before, I'm learning how to deal with some really stupid shit and bad timing, especially in terms of people management.
At the moment I'm working on finding new acom and passing this weekend's exams. After I've gotten a roof over my head again then I'll deal with the MPS recruitment process.
---
One bright spot is that I woke up this morning and didn't try to cough up my lungs, so the meds that I've been taking every five hours seem to be working. I can even wheeze now without then spending a couple of minuets coughing, which I've not been able to do in three months, so that's nice.
As I said; give me shit to deal with and I'll grab my shovel, but I need my health to do it.
It's amazing though that you spend three months with this persistent health issue and a few pills later and it's almost entirely gone. A drip, a drop of really odd tasting chemicals later [the roid I'm taking is the oddest thing I've ever had in my mouth, Salbutamol Sulphate] and your biology sorts itself out. Amazing.
---
Found a new place to live. It's off on the other side of London in Heathrow, near the airport, but it's close to the MPS offices where I'm doing my testing and the same distance from the college campus where I'm doing my certification course, so that's alright.
Only costs £70.00 per week with two weeks deposit too. A bit of an issue with that I'm not currently employed, but I've got a viewing tomorrow and I think he'll understand about me being on benefits for two more months before working for the police service.
It's this place or moving into a hostel on Sunday anyway as I've got to be out on Monday.
£70 a week should be fine, it'll give me extra money to sort myself out for now, and I rarely go out so with the Barclay's cycle hire service I should be able to make the distance a few times a week to my regular check in with the benefits office and to get to college so I'm sure it'll be OK.
I could use the exercise besides given that I had to stop running for the last several months due to this chest infection. Need to get my fitness back up before training.
---
This hot mess is out on the 17th of July. :D
The first Planet of the Apes movie was really well written and entertaining, so I'm expecting great things of this. I'm going to go see it at Peckhamplex in Packham London. £7 for fucking 3D viewing. Never go to those overpriced fucking Odeons.
I'm erudite. I'm intelligent. I'm learned. It's one of my key aspects. If you ask me to describe myself, somewhere in the list of characterizing locution is going to be the word 'Genius'.
And I like Michael Bay's fucking movies.
I watch them because sometimes I enjoy two or three hours of TICK, TICK, BEWM. I'm not expecting Shakespeare, I'm expecting bullets and fireballs and would be angry if I didn't get it.
Like the man said in response to critique: "I make movies for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime." And I might be bordering on 30 but as is well known, the first step to wisdom is to perceive as a small child. And I passed that a long time ago, and a part of me, the part that is fed every time I sprint when running, loves the Transformer movies for giant robots kicking the oily crap out of each other.
Stop pooping on the guy for making bad movies people, he gives ya what you pay for. D:
---
That's about it I think. Going to go play a couple of TOME matches and then write up the revision materials for Saturday so I can study them today and tomorrow and probably on the way to my lecture on Saturday.
*rubs palm across head* Ah, maybe I will go shave, THEN deal with college mats, AFTER gaming. Stupid freaking hair.
Today: shave and college work [revision mats first].
Tomorrow: 4pm viewing of property which requires about 3 hours to get to.
Saturday: college lecture and exams.
Sunday: Remove possessions from flat, either into new room or hostel.
Monday: Depends on new room or hostel. If new room, buy foods and do college work. If hostel, find new room and college work.
That's the next few days. Fun, fun, fun...oy vey...
On Troubles...
Always with the troubles. Two weeks ago it was flu, a fitness test and an exam. This week it's eviction and two exams. For crying out loud.
---
Woke up. Coughed up a lung. Was asked to talk by my landlady. Said I had to go to the doctors. Went out.
Got a text demanding that I leave my current acom today as I've not paid my last two weeks rent. Negotiated to stay until Monday on the basis that I always pay what's owed and have done so in the past.
Got to the doctors, LATE by ten minuets, but managed to get in to see the doctor through negotiation [I'm getting good at reasoning with people it would seem...or lying anyway] which might have had something to do with the fact that I ran to get there on time and coughed up my other lung in the waiting room. Doctor said I had a chest infection [DUUUH] and prescribed me 9 anti-bios pills A DAY with a steroid inhaler which I need to take 8 times a day. Had it for 3 months and I'm not ridding myself of it and the NHS paid for the meds so wth.
Fun part is that after I take them they fuck with my senses and make me feel weird. Not bad precisely but I got on a train and went in the wrong direction twice before I got to my home stop. xD
My blood test for Hep B hasn't been delivered to my doctor, so I now need to chase that up from Lewisham Hospital, and my signature form required for my police medical is going to cost me 20 quid to claim, which is fucking criminal seeing as I need it to gain employment.
BY THIS TIME I felt like I was cooking so I spent a couple of hours cooling off in front of a fan with a window open.
Then I tried to look for a new room, but by this time it had gone 6pm so I could only phone a few of private leasers, and most of those turned out to no longer be renting. Resolved to get on with college work and then tomorrow morning and afternoon ring around to try to find somewhere to rent from. Either way, on Sunday I'm moving out, it just depends if on Thursday and Friday I can find a new room to rent or if I'm moving into a hostel on Sunday. I really don't want to go living in a hostel again, but on the plus side I can still look for a new room to rent after that point, and I'll have two weeks before Week 7 of my certificate in basic policing course, with yet more exams, so I'll have time to look for somewhere new to rent in week one and in week two do my college work.
I'll have somewhere to sleep, and that's the main thing, but given that it's now summer it's probably not going to be the same place for more than a few nights in a row, but on the other hand it'll only be for a week or so before I can move into a new room.
Stressful work, but in my current position it's my only option.
A few weeks to find a new place, a few more to purge this chest infection, and a few months to clear my college course and be hired by the police, whereupon my training pay will go to pay for:
Plus, if I can find a penny or two, some new fucking clothes and other personal equipment which I needed replacing about a two year ago.
Now now I've taken about 30 minuets out of my very early morning college work time to write this, and I need some food to take with my meds.
So basically things are fine and not fine at the same time and I'm working from day-to-day here.
Which is a bitch to find because even though I'm technically a student and practically hired by the coppers, you tell people you're a needy individual on DSS [acom speak for housing benefits apparently] and they reject you out of hand as someone who can't pay their rent.
I spent an hour today convincing someone that it might be late but I always pay my rent debt eventually, which is quite accurate. Of course I wish I could hand a month and pay monthly and had the option of living somewhere which was at least adequate, but staying is hostels is what I've got to work with until I get into police training.
I'll have a bed, and that's about as much I can hope for at the moment in the short term.
It does seem sometimes like the harder I push to improve my life in the long term, the worse it becomes.
I could've started this 10 week course a year ago and had no issues passing both the fitness side and the academic side without this flu, chest infection, eviction fucking nonsense, but instead I get one weekend in hell after the next.
I'm amazed I've not terminally fucked something up yet, although the jury is still out on my Day 2 thanks to that fitness instructor, and as for getting out of this flat with everything I own and into another room without losing my shit...ask me in two weeks.
RIGHT: I'm done. Getting sammitches and then going back to college work for a couple more hours. About half a week left to do and 2-5's quizzes, so it's not that much, but I really need to review a fuckton of it, and need to put in some serious revision for Saturday's exams.
Unlike every other time in my past, maybe, just maybe, putting myself through sheer fucking torture, stress and hellish circumstances might actually pay off if at the end of it I actually become a policeman and get paid to do good work.
If nothing else though, this shit that I'm going through is teaching me two things; work under pressure and how to lie, react and negotiate with people who don't want to deal. I stopped myself at least three times when talking to my landlady from saying the wrong thing that would've seen me in a hostel right now, and I coughed more than I needed to in order to get to see the doctor this afternoon.
My course tutor was right; policing, dealing with people, is half due authority and half personal charisma. I didn't think I had any of the latter, but I got what I wanted out of today using my words rather than rights. Maybe I've got a bit of talent in that area. :)
FOOD. :O
---
Woke up. Coughed up a lung. Was asked to talk by my landlady. Said I had to go to the doctors. Went out.
Got a text demanding that I leave my current acom today as I've not paid my last two weeks rent. Negotiated to stay until Monday on the basis that I always pay what's owed and have done so in the past.
Got to the doctors, LATE by ten minuets, but managed to get in to see the doctor through negotiation [I'm getting good at reasoning with people it would seem...or lying anyway] which might have had something to do with the fact that I ran to get there on time and coughed up my other lung in the waiting room. Doctor said I had a chest infection [DUUUH] and prescribed me 9 anti-bios pills A DAY with a steroid inhaler which I need to take 8 times a day. Had it for 3 months and I'm not ridding myself of it and the NHS paid for the meds so wth.
Fun part is that after I take them they fuck with my senses and make me feel weird. Not bad precisely but I got on a train and went in the wrong direction twice before I got to my home stop. xD
My blood test for Hep B hasn't been delivered to my doctor, so I now need to chase that up from Lewisham Hospital, and my signature form required for my police medical is going to cost me 20 quid to claim, which is fucking criminal seeing as I need it to gain employment.
BY THIS TIME I felt like I was cooking so I spent a couple of hours cooling off in front of a fan with a window open.
Then I tried to look for a new room, but by this time it had gone 6pm so I could only phone a few of private leasers, and most of those turned out to no longer be renting. Resolved to get on with college work and then tomorrow morning and afternoon ring around to try to find somewhere to rent from. Either way, on Sunday I'm moving out, it just depends if on Thursday and Friday I can find a new room to rent or if I'm moving into a hostel on Sunday. I really don't want to go living in a hostel again, but on the plus side I can still look for a new room to rent after that point, and I'll have two weeks before Week 7 of my certificate in basic policing course, with yet more exams, so I'll have time to look for somewhere new to rent in week one and in week two do my college work.
I'll have somewhere to sleep, and that's the main thing, but given that it's now summer it's probably not going to be the same place for more than a few nights in a row, but on the other hand it'll only be for a week or so before I can move into a new room.
Stressful work, but in my current position it's my only option.
A few weeks to find a new place, a few more to purge this chest infection, and a few months to clear my college course and be hired by the police, whereupon my training pay will go to pay for:
- Better acom close to where I'll be working plus transportation.
- Covering the housing benefits overpayment not overpayment as I was entitled to the money
- The debt I've got and had with my bank for several years which is slightly more than the housing benefits overpayment
Plus, if I can find a penny or two, some new fucking clothes and other personal equipment which I needed replacing about a two year ago.
Now now I've taken about 30 minuets out of my very early morning college work time to write this, and I need some food to take with my meds.
So basically things are fine and not fine at the same time and I'm working from day-to-day here.
- Today I do college work, and then sleep.
- Tomorrow I search for new acom and write up revision mats.
- Friday I search for new acom and revise for my exams.
- Saturday I go to college and take two exams.
- Sunday I move my things out, probably in a hostel for fucks sake.
- Monday I search like blazes for a new room.
Which is a bitch to find because even though I'm technically a student and practically hired by the coppers, you tell people you're a needy individual on DSS [acom speak for housing benefits apparently] and they reject you out of hand as someone who can't pay their rent.
I spent an hour today convincing someone that it might be late but I always pay my rent debt eventually, which is quite accurate. Of course I wish I could hand a month and pay monthly and had the option of living somewhere which was at least adequate, but staying is hostels is what I've got to work with until I get into police training.
I'll have a bed, and that's about as much I can hope for at the moment in the short term.
It does seem sometimes like the harder I push to improve my life in the long term, the worse it becomes.
I could've started this 10 week course a year ago and had no issues passing both the fitness side and the academic side without this flu, chest infection, eviction fucking nonsense, but instead I get one weekend in hell after the next.
I'm amazed I've not terminally fucked something up yet, although the jury is still out on my Day 2 thanks to that fitness instructor, and as for getting out of this flat with everything I own and into another room without losing my shit...ask me in two weeks.
RIGHT: I'm done. Getting sammitches and then going back to college work for a couple more hours. About half a week left to do and 2-5's quizzes, so it's not that much, but I really need to review a fuckton of it, and need to put in some serious revision for Saturday's exams.
Unlike every other time in my past, maybe, just maybe, putting myself through sheer fucking torture, stress and hellish circumstances might actually pay off if at the end of it I actually become a policeman and get paid to do good work.
If nothing else though, this shit that I'm going through is teaching me two things; work under pressure and how to lie, react and negotiate with people who don't want to deal. I stopped myself at least three times when talking to my landlady from saying the wrong thing that would've seen me in a hostel right now, and I coughed more than I needed to in order to get to see the doctor this afternoon.
My course tutor was right; policing, dealing with people, is half due authority and half personal charisma. I didn't think I had any of the latter, but I got what I wanted out of today using my words rather than rights. Maybe I've got a bit of talent in that area. :)
FOOD. :O
26/06/2014
On Thursday...
...WAT... :O
Currently somewhere between food coma and oxygen deprivation.
Went to the hypermarket, bought a french stick, a tin of soup, and some crisps, with some premix chicken, bacon n sweetcorn mayo. Then ate quite a lot of all of it between coughing my lungs up cus for some reason the cold air made my lungs fill with fluid.
Can't fucking wait for the doctors on Wednesday when hopefully they'll be able to give me something so I stop coughing when I move about a very short walk.
Used to run 20 miles as a matter of course. Now I wheeze and cough up fluid when I take a short stroll to the hypermarket. Fucking life man, it sucks.
*takes caffeine pills* Leets do dis...
---
Listening to Linkin Park's newest album called The Hunting Party, which I had no idea had come out 2 weeks ago. I don't listen to music that often and remember to check to see if the few bands I like have released anything new lately about once every six months, if that. Takes me a few gos to decide if I like it or not, and am usually not impressed by the first play through, and currently I'm thinking this is drivil, but I always think that. I know me...Guilty All The Same sounds pretty cool though...
Need to restore iTunes is what cus without a music equalizer for Rock music just don't sound right.
---
Still watching Californication despite what I said, which isn't surprising. What I said was that it was hollow nonsense for stoners, but it grows on ya, and the creators have found their feet now and actually inserting some drama into it around S03-4 where Hank has a lot of relationships and then it comes out he boned a 16 year old and he hits rock bottom.
Wouldn't say it's inspired poetry or anything but it's better than the only other thing I have on my plate at the moment called 'Perception', which is a generic cop show with a twist of neuroscience. *shrug*
---
Shaved my face, head and naughty regions this morning.
Face cus I have uber stiff wire beard and it's like termites are trying to eat me if it grows beyond a few millimeters, so beards are out of the question.
Head because otherwise you can see this halo around my head where the tops thinning out and it looks really stupid, and because no hair is best for exercise, although that's a non-issue until I get my lungs sorted out. And
And naughty bits because I hate public hair. It's uncomfortable, it's heating, and chafes. Plus sexual activity is just easier without it in the way. The only issue with this is shaving every 5-6 days results in a sandpaper effect everywhere you shaved. This is cool on the face and scalp, but not so much on your nads. Worth it though in my view.
Each to their own, but I roll with my lawn mowed.
The irony of course is that I'm an ape everywhere else, and have a mane on my upper back which is kinda neat. Excess testosterone is probably why I'm going bald, but also why I'm strong and usually healthy, and I've never liked having hair on my head, so it's all for the best probably.
---
What else...
---
From my todo list I'm taking some me time today to update my blogs. This post, art assets, URL cleanup, and some programming, which incidentally I'm now blogging about in the Codex Mundus [Book of the World].
---
I'm basically rebuilding my games engine and adding in some of the new concepts I've been thinking about for a while, such as base program structure of primary/secondary UI's aaand spherical voxel based environments which can be customized by the user. I'll add those in as soon as I've disemboweled my quaternion based camera perspectives demo which showcases every possible perspective of 2D projected computer games.
Essentially what I'm making here is something between League of Legends and Landmark/Everquest Next which is an evolution of Minecraft.
Notch was a bloody pillock who knew and probably still knows all about programming but didn't and doesn't know games design, Sony are making all the same mistakes he did plus a bunch of new ones as they know graphics but not games design, and Riot Games can suck my cock for their mismanagement of an admittedly great MOBA.
I know more than they do because I'm smarter than they are. They are just luckier than I am which is why they have the money to build this shit.
---
What I fucking want more than anything right now is for someone to pay me money to build games so I could build a working prototype of my games thesis and then call these AAA studios and cultural icons a bunch of useless fuckers.
Among the philosophical issues with this notion is this; building the best game of all time, the most efficient, the most fun, the most well crafted doesn't actually mean shit because if and when I do it I'm going to be so pissed that I had to and did it under these circumstances that I'll insult anyone willing to produce it to the point of rejection.
I day dream of being given an award for building the best game of the year or some shit and then smashing it to bits with a hammer or something on stage and calling these people who've never thought about what they're doing properly idiots who have no right to pat me on the back for proving their lack of insight.
A craftsmen, an artisan, a genius doesn't care for the opinions of no-less-men. He only cares about the work. But the fact is:
That's just it really; these assholes don't know what they're doing, but they're in the position to do it, whereas I know what I'm doing, but no one wants to be shown that their hard work and effort is effectively an elephant's painting compared to a Picasso.
I just hate humanity, and in that special way that only those who actually know how fucking wrong everything is can hate it.
Whatever.
---
Tomorrow I need to get on with college work and then look for new acom at the start of next week before doing 2 exams for my certification in policing course on the weekend, and moving into new acom at the start of the following week.
---
Skipped the Tribunal today.
I know I made a big fuss over going anyway but I needed a shave, I needed to clean my shit up, I needed some me time, I didn't need to go to a tribunal and try to explain myself to a bunch of assholes who weren't going to believe me in any case.
The whole reason I wanted to cancel the tribunal was to get on with my own nonsense which once taken care of will get me employed with the police.
Taking time out from that in any respect is simply a waste of time. Chillax today, college work tomorrow, not waste time today, chillax tomorrow, and then college work on the weekend.
---
Some idiot contacted me about buying my vinyl weights set. Offered me a good price for them and then realized that they were vinyl and said that his mate's set cracked during 80kg deadlift and he got injured. Personally I find this utter nonsense. Had these things three years, used them for all kinds of exercise and never had an issue. Pillock.
---
...Thank fuck for that, the caffeine is finally kicking in.
And that's it really.
Cleaning my room and catching up on my laundry, updating my blogs with art and info, looking forward to doctors on Wednesday, college work tomorrow, no specific drama at the moment so long as I can focus and get the job done. Have a look at Codex Mundus for my programming work, please do.
GG.
Have a good one.
---
PS: Been trying to work out why I keep swearing and I think it's because I'm subconsciously quite angry over the tribunal fiasco. I'm right, they're wrong, and there's no way I can resolve it in my favor because no one gives a shit.
The thing with me is that my thoughts are logical and walled off from my emotions, so if I'm cogitating substantially I don't feel very much on the surface. My diction however belies that.
When injured I swear sulphurously, not because I mean the words but because the words are tied into my emotions. The logical part of my brain is processing the injury and trying to work out what to do about it, to mitigate and control the pain, etc. Reason and consciousness is latched to the information of my senses. The emotional part of my brain however is feeling pain, and as my diction is latched to my emotions I swear without feeling. My mouth runs but my consciousness isn't associated with what's being said.
Maybe it's because I'm a genius but I've always found that when I'm in one area of my brain - programming, for example, requires logical processing - I'm disassociated with other areas - I hardly ever laugh or feel pleasure because I spend most of my time employing reason for example.
Compartmentalization. Being in the zone. The warrior and the scholar.
I wouldn't say this role mechanism is unique to me, but it is something I'm better at then most people.
Anyway, I was just wondering what the fuck I was pissed off about. Probably the tribunal. Shit happens. Shit passes. It's cool.
Fin.
Currently somewhere between food coma and oxygen deprivation.
Went to the hypermarket, bought a french stick, a tin of soup, and some crisps, with some premix chicken, bacon n sweetcorn mayo. Then ate quite a lot of all of it between coughing my lungs up cus for some reason the cold air made my lungs fill with fluid.
Can't fucking wait for the doctors on Wednesday when hopefully they'll be able to give me something so I stop coughing when I move about a very short walk.
Used to run 20 miles as a matter of course. Now I wheeze and cough up fluid when I take a short stroll to the hypermarket. Fucking life man, it sucks.
*takes caffeine pills* Leets do dis...
---
Listening to Linkin Park's newest album called The Hunting Party, which I had no idea had come out 2 weeks ago. I don't listen to music that often and remember to check to see if the few bands I like have released anything new lately about once every six months, if that. Takes me a few gos to decide if I like it or not, and am usually not impressed by the first play through, and currently I'm thinking this is drivil, but I always think that. I know me...Guilty All The Same sounds pretty cool though...
Need to restore iTunes is what cus without a music equalizer for Rock music just don't sound right.
---
Still watching Californication despite what I said, which isn't surprising. What I said was that it was hollow nonsense for stoners, but it grows on ya, and the creators have found their feet now and actually inserting some drama into it around S03-4 where Hank has a lot of relationships and then it comes out he boned a 16 year old and he hits rock bottom.
Wouldn't say it's inspired poetry or anything but it's better than the only other thing I have on my plate at the moment called 'Perception', which is a generic cop show with a twist of neuroscience. *shrug*
---
Shaved my face, head and naughty regions this morning.
Face cus I have uber stiff wire beard and it's like termites are trying to eat me if it grows beyond a few millimeters, so beards are out of the question.
Head because otherwise you can see this halo around my head where the tops thinning out and it looks really stupid, and because no hair is best for exercise, although that's a non-issue until I get my lungs sorted out. And
And naughty bits because I hate public hair. It's uncomfortable, it's heating, and chafes. Plus sexual activity is just easier without it in the way. The only issue with this is shaving every 5-6 days results in a sandpaper effect everywhere you shaved. This is cool on the face and scalp, but not so much on your nads. Worth it though in my view.
Each to their own, but I roll with my lawn mowed.
The irony of course is that I'm an ape everywhere else, and have a mane on my upper back which is kinda neat. Excess testosterone is probably why I'm going bald, but also why I'm strong and usually healthy, and I've never liked having hair on my head, so it's all for the best probably.
---
What else...
---
From my todo list I'm taking some me time today to update my blogs. This post, art assets, URL cleanup, and some programming, which incidentally I'm now blogging about in the Codex Mundus [Book of the World].
---
I'm basically rebuilding my games engine and adding in some of the new concepts I've been thinking about for a while, such as base program structure of primary/secondary UI's aaand spherical voxel based environments which can be customized by the user. I'll add those in as soon as I've disemboweled my quaternion based camera perspectives demo which showcases every possible perspective of 2D projected computer games.
Essentially what I'm making here is something between League of Legends and Landmark/Everquest Next which is an evolution of Minecraft.
Notch was a bloody pillock who knew and probably still knows all about programming but didn't and doesn't know games design, Sony are making all the same mistakes he did plus a bunch of new ones as they know graphics but not games design, and Riot Games can suck my cock for their mismanagement of an admittedly great MOBA.
I know more than they do because I'm smarter than they are. They are just luckier than I am which is why they have the money to build this shit.
---
What I fucking want more than anything right now is for someone to pay me money to build games so I could build a working prototype of my games thesis and then call these AAA studios and cultural icons a bunch of useless fuckers.
Among the philosophical issues with this notion is this; building the best game of all time, the most efficient, the most fun, the most well crafted doesn't actually mean shit because if and when I do it I'm going to be so pissed that I had to and did it under these circumstances that I'll insult anyone willing to produce it to the point of rejection.
I day dream of being given an award for building the best game of the year or some shit and then smashing it to bits with a hammer or something on stage and calling these people who've never thought about what they're doing properly idiots who have no right to pat me on the back for proving their lack of insight.
A craftsmen, an artisan, a genius doesn't care for the opinions of no-less-men. He only cares about the work. But the fact is:
- Notch is an idiot and produced shit for kids. But those kids love Minecraft.
- Sony are a bunch of amateurs and are congratulating each other for their fine work. And people join in because they're the only game in town.
- Riot are so far up their own ass they're looking out through their own nostrils. And people worship them as despite being assholes their MOBA is the best MOBA available.
That's just it really; these assholes don't know what they're doing, but they're in the position to do it, whereas I know what I'm doing, but no one wants to be shown that their hard work and effort is effectively an elephant's painting compared to a Picasso.
I just hate humanity, and in that special way that only those who actually know how fucking wrong everything is can hate it.
Whatever.
---
Tomorrow I need to get on with college work and then look for new acom at the start of next week before doing 2 exams for my certification in policing course on the weekend, and moving into new acom at the start of the following week.
---
Skipped the Tribunal today.
I know I made a big fuss over going anyway but I needed a shave, I needed to clean my shit up, I needed some me time, I didn't need to go to a tribunal and try to explain myself to a bunch of assholes who weren't going to believe me in any case.
The whole reason I wanted to cancel the tribunal was to get on with my own nonsense which once taken care of will get me employed with the police.
Taking time out from that in any respect is simply a waste of time. Chillax today, college work tomorrow, not waste time today, chillax tomorrow, and then college work on the weekend.
---
Some idiot contacted me about buying my vinyl weights set. Offered me a good price for them and then realized that they were vinyl and said that his mate's set cracked during 80kg deadlift and he got injured. Personally I find this utter nonsense. Had these things three years, used them for all kinds of exercise and never had an issue. Pillock.
---
...Thank fuck for that, the caffeine is finally kicking in.
And that's it really.
Cleaning my room and catching up on my laundry, updating my blogs with art and info, looking forward to doctors on Wednesday, college work tomorrow, no specific drama at the moment so long as I can focus and get the job done. Have a look at Codex Mundus for my programming work, please do.
GG.
Have a good one.
---
PS: Been trying to work out why I keep swearing and I think it's because I'm subconsciously quite angry over the tribunal fiasco. I'm right, they're wrong, and there's no way I can resolve it in my favor because no one gives a shit.
The thing with me is that my thoughts are logical and walled off from my emotions, so if I'm cogitating substantially I don't feel very much on the surface. My diction however belies that.
When injured I swear sulphurously, not because I mean the words but because the words are tied into my emotions. The logical part of my brain is processing the injury and trying to work out what to do about it, to mitigate and control the pain, etc. Reason and consciousness is latched to the information of my senses. The emotional part of my brain however is feeling pain, and as my diction is latched to my emotions I swear without feeling. My mouth runs but my consciousness isn't associated with what's being said.
Maybe it's because I'm a genius but I've always found that when I'm in one area of my brain - programming, for example, requires logical processing - I'm disassociated with other areas - I hardly ever laugh or feel pleasure because I spend most of my time employing reason for example.
Compartmentalization. Being in the zone. The warrior and the scholar.
I wouldn't say this role mechanism is unique to me, but it is something I'm better at then most people.
Anyway, I was just wondering what the fuck I was pissed off about. Probably the tribunal. Shit happens. Shit passes. It's cool.
Fin.
24/06/2014
23/06/2014
On Monday...
YEEE GAWDS, I feel like a roast pig without the spit pole. -_-
Woke up at 8 this morning, coughed up a lung [I have a doctors appointment on the cards, I'm getting it checked, shut up], got dressed and went out. Bought breakfast, got on a train, went two stops, and started walking the length and breadth of the borough.
10am till 6pm, walking in the hot sun, stopping every once in a while to either a] buy a drink, or b] perform an errand. Must have been 20 bloody miles in total.
---
Got an appointment with the opticians [cus it's been more than 2 years since I got my balls checked, teehee] and doctors [cus if I don't I might die in my sleep when I stop breathing].
Didn't get my doctors form signed though cus when I went to go print it off cus I had forgotten to bring my other copy with me, the buggers in the library said they wanted 2 quid for a replacement library card and wouldn't give me my account number again.
Just so you understand, they couldn't give me an 8 digit number even though I only ever use the library for print outs and dropped like 10 quid in there to print off my police forms, but would be happy to charge me 2 quid for a replacement card cus I forgot to pick the thing up twice in a row now when trying to give them money.Bastards. And I don't normally do this, but Peckham Library, 4th floor, staffed by mammonite assholes.
Plum forgot about cancelling the dam Tribunal hearing for that housing benefit issue right up until I was an hour down the road and didn't want to walk back. That's on the 26th so I'm doing it tomorrow before it comes and goes [whoops].
Booked a sign-on time on Wednesday with my job adviser to check in and be paid my job seekers and housing benefits. Took all of 2 seconds.
Then tried to book a bed in this inn I mentioned the other day which costs £55 per week. Trouble is that it's summer and fully booked, which wasn't a complete surprise really. Lady said there weren't many people leaving so don't expect a bed [though my instincts said she was lying, although either way I wasn't getting a bed there], so now I've got to find somewhere else to stay in 2 weeks.
This resulted in some thought in another library down the road and some calculation.I did look into putting my stuff into storage, but Big Yellow wants about 90 quid a month to do it up front. Do that and there goes my deposit for a new room so that's a non-starter.
Paid what was owed for last week to my landlady, in full and more than she was technically entitled to, £165 instead of £135, which is £100 per week for the last 4 weeks now, but I've not paid for this week or my last week which will be next week, so I'm hoping paying what she wanted for last will keep her quite for now.
Besides, it's sheer sense that she's not going to evict me sooner than 2 weeks from now. She wants the 200 for the next two weeks, and I don't bother her, and chances are that I will pay it eventually. No point in chucking me out now for the stress and the 200 she would then have to pay.
...granted, she's not getting it as I need to cover the costs of new acom, one way or another, but she doesn't know that. *shrug* I'm still considering it asshole tax for the stupid lie about being hard-up. People who don't have money don't drop 15 quid on charcoal when their pay as you go hot-water gas boiler runs out of credit.
Fact is that I can either keep everyone satisfied and nobody happy or I can make a few people happy and few people angry, and I'm opting for the former.
I'm not ruining my one-every-six-months application to the coppers cus my landlady doesn't want to use her savings to cover the last fortnight's rent on her flat.
I've paid something, and the rest will be [only it won't be] forthcoming so she'll just have to deal with it.
It's student season around now so I shouldn't have any issue finding a new place to stay. There's lots of rooms for rent online for around £60-80 per week, so I should find somewhere easily enough, and if shit does hit the fan I'll just stay at a hostel for week or two. I really don't want to be doing that last one, but I might not have an option.
Asides from all that I also did my food shopping. Not a lot really except salad seeing as firstly I'm moving soon and don't want to take it with me and secondly don't have time or energy to make anything more complicated. Must get some tuna at some point as well.
---
Tomorrow I'm going back to the doctors for that form, the housing office for the tribunal, and a few places which might be willing to buy my weights, some garden forks and some jeans off me, none of which I want to take into my new acom due to weight and all of which would've gone into storage.
Right now though I'm playing today's quests in Hearthstone, then getting egg and bacon salad, and doing some college work as soon as I've made notes on my todo list for tomorrow.
OH: I also need to go have a shower cus I smell and my shirt is covered in salt stains from where I leaked all over it today. Also I need a shave cus the ring around my head from where my headline is receding is visible. I wish all my hair would just fall out and stay like it so I don't need to shave anymore.
---
Also, I've said it in the past but I'll say it again, the one good point about summer is the women.
Wandering around so much today, everyone going at the same leisurely pace, I spent about 20 minuets basically mesmerised by a really fine black bootie.
I don't normally like black chicks, there's just something slightly off about their appearance, my preferences being amazonian white women, like the atypical Texan blond [sans the fake boobs and bleached hair of course].
The apex example of my tastes is Dianna Dahlgren who's so dam cute and built out of spring steel which could only be better if she was a transsexual as I'm bi and prefer dick to pussy, although her torso is awesome.
Harry Treadaway, if I was naming attractive guys, would be a good example of my tastes there. Checked Google and he looks like a hipster in most of his pics and as for the hair...but he's cute in Penny Dreadful though.
Point is that black chicks have a certain elegance of form and feature, and their skin makes me think of lush chocolate. I have a new appreciation of them from today's ambulations.
---
OK, woke up, got cooked, did things, did my best, do more tomorrow. Yup.
---
OHOH: Started watching Californication...and I just got why it's called that cus of CaliFORNICATION.
Bit stupid to start with but it got better eventually when it turned out the guy was sleeping around cus he's a hyper cynical, misanthropic writer who uses sex and drugs to dull the pain of existing with better perceptions than other people.
Just like me really except I exist by trying to ignore the world instead of bathing myself in distractions...except for maybe writing excessively long blog posts and playing games, but that's better than booze, drugs and pussy...I think...although I wouldn't mind trying the last with a side order of dick too... *shrug*
---
Whatever.
Game time.
22/06/2014
On Aftermath...
Got to college.
Just about made it and was just about ready for the exam. The tutor did two things of note:
Firstly after the exam he read over the papers we handed in. Told us that no one had really missed the point entirely but we could skip copying the question in our answer; give two examples of, two examples of, etc.
And secondly he said, and this is dam nonsense, that we all need 100% on the exam. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT, which means that every single one of us will be taking a retake of the questions we got wrong at the end of the course because no one aced it first try, and that's a fact.
Nearly fell asleep three times during the lecturing, and then got told we've got two more exams next week. Joy. On the other hand [each week is 2 weeks apart] I've got 2 weeks to prep, the flu is abating and all I've got to do is move out of my current acom and revise so it's not too bad really.
I say my flu is fading, but when I stopped yesterday for some reason my throat nearly closed with mucus forcing me to wheeze and then cough until it cleared. What the hell with that? Right now I'm coughing and tasting nasty. I'm going to the doctors on Monday for signatures for the police so I'll make an appointment with them and get checked out.
Asides from that, I got in...OK, god dam, I thought it was 6:42pm. xD
It's 6:42am, and I slept from around 6 last night right through till 6 this morning. I was wondering why the sun hadn't set yet and thought I had been asleep only an hour or two. Only just put it together that I've been out for 12 hours.
So, was awake from 12am till 5-6pm, 12-12+4 = a full waking day [8am-8pm, plus 4 hours is midnight, 8 hours sleep till 8am] which is like 1-2 in the morning. Slept for 11-12 hours and feel like I could use 11-12 more.
Resting today, cleaning this evening cus I can't see my bedroom floor, going to the doctors tomorrow for my throat and signatures, plus a few other places, including cancelling the housing benefits tribunal and Big Yellow Storage to arrange a hole to throw my crap into for the time being and my new residence to book to a bed.
I'm dehydrated, starving, my vision isn't happy, I wish it nighttime, and I'm still coughing and/or wheezing. My abuse corpus isn't happy about being put through the last three days.
As I said before; other people don't have to do this shit. Other people don't get flu right before a fitness exam, other people don't have exams the day after, other people don't need to half kill themselves to accomplish their goals.
The world doesn't hate other people like it hates me. It gives or it ignores, it doesn't give and then put them through hell in the getting.
Whatever, I'm going back to bed.
Just about made it and was just about ready for the exam. The tutor did two things of note:
Firstly after the exam he read over the papers we handed in. Told us that no one had really missed the point entirely but we could skip copying the question in our answer; give two examples of, two examples of, etc.
And secondly he said, and this is dam nonsense, that we all need 100% on the exam. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT, which means that every single one of us will be taking a retake of the questions we got wrong at the end of the course because no one aced it first try, and that's a fact.
Nearly fell asleep three times during the lecturing, and then got told we've got two more exams next week. Joy. On the other hand [each week is 2 weeks apart] I've got 2 weeks to prep, the flu is abating and all I've got to do is move out of my current acom and revise so it's not too bad really.
I say my flu is fading, but when I stopped yesterday for some reason my throat nearly closed with mucus forcing me to wheeze and then cough until it cleared. What the hell with that? Right now I'm coughing and tasting nasty. I'm going to the doctors on Monday for signatures for the police so I'll make an appointment with them and get checked out.
Asides from that, I got in...OK, god dam, I thought it was 6:42pm. xD
It's 6:42am, and I slept from around 6 last night right through till 6 this morning. I was wondering why the sun hadn't set yet and thought I had been asleep only an hour or two. Only just put it together that I've been out for 12 hours.
So, was awake from 12am till 5-6pm, 12-12+4 = a full waking day [8am-8pm, plus 4 hours is midnight, 8 hours sleep till 8am] which is like 1-2 in the morning. Slept for 11-12 hours and feel like I could use 11-12 more.
Resting today, cleaning this evening cus I can't see my bedroom floor, going to the doctors tomorrow for my throat and signatures, plus a few other places, including cancelling the housing benefits tribunal and Big Yellow Storage to arrange a hole to throw my crap into for the time being and my new residence to book to a bed.
I'm dehydrated, starving, my vision isn't happy, I wish it nighttime, and I'm still coughing and/or wheezing. My abuse corpus isn't happy about being put through the last three days.
As I said before; other people don't have to do this shit. Other people don't get flu right before a fitness exam, other people don't have exams the day after, other people don't need to half kill themselves to accomplish their goals.
The world doesn't hate other people like it hates me. It gives or it ignores, it doesn't give and then put them through hell in the getting.
Whatever, I'm going back to bed.
19/06/2014
On Crazy/Stupid...
Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy or stupid or crazy stupid or stupid crazy...probably best to go with all three, really.
23:20, I've got to be up and moving in 4 hours 40 minuets for a FITNESS TEST, and I'm blowing yellow goo out of my snout and listening to the popping noises from my nose.
At this point, I just said FUCK IT, SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK and decided to write up answers to the Week 5 Victims and Witnesses Certificate in Policing exam on Saturday.
Had to pause around Question 4 because I just realized that, beyond the nonsense about legislation and you can arrest a chap for this but only if this and if he crosses the room and stands on one leg whilst blowing his nose you cant arrest him for that but you can arrest him for this but if he drops the tissue on the ground this gets added to it BLAAAH, I actually kinda love the information analysis and management as much as games design.
They're equally as fascinating for their depth and complexity.
During the Day 1 mental interview I took at the same place I'm off to later on today they had us do scenario interviews with people and I enjoyed that too. Reading what had gone on, formulating questions, finding out information, it was very engaging.
It was odd just how much I enjoyed it really seeing as most of my life I've avoided people on principle, but I guess it's the difference between social engagement and social work.
I'm not here to be their mate, I'm here to find out what they know and make everyone's lives better and safer. It's system management, not interpersonal socialism, and I can do the former with a concussion.
Point is that I think I'm going to enjoy being a copper, which is awesome news because things I don't enjoy I tend to subconsciously fail.
Anyway, all I need do is roll up at MPS offices tomorrow, ask a few questions, do a few laps, explain about the raging flu and mucus [god dam you universe] and then come home and memorize this victims and witnesses lark for the follo...for to-mor-row...[god dam you universe].
Landlady might be pissed that I'm not paying a couple of hundred in rent I owe until Monday, but life can be hard sometimes, like being evicted mid first-job-in-five-years-six-month-employment-process [bitch].
My ability to see the other person's point of view, normally something that makes your average star look a lil tiny by comparison, has been severely diminished as of late.
Sometime around flu the week of a fitness test/exam was when it happened, I think.
Still got the utmost consideration for other people, that's built in, but those assholes who made my personal situation worse still have a target on their foreheads.
Breaks over, I think, back to it.
Day 2, sleep, revision, Wk5 Exam, SLEEP, then probably running around on Monday seeing to getting Day 2 form info I'm currently missing and doing week 5 of my college course, plus moving out.
Won't be so bad. Place I'm going to is about half as cheap as it is here so I'll have spare money from my benefits, I'm putting most of my stuff into storage before hand, and to be frank, having to go to the library or not having wifi in my room [last I checked it was either wifi on the first floor or a goods nights sleep on the second floor as the ground floor has live music at night] to do college work will probably do quite a bit for focusing my ability to concentrate.
My main goal and occupation in life is to pass the certificate in basic policing course, and thus far I'm blagging it. Doing tests because I've created a database of course content and searching it for the answers. I've not memorized most of the information from the first four weeks or done the optional reading or activities. I've not looked like an idiot thus far because my tutor is a pillock who reads presentation notes from the online database and most of the work is common sense, and I'm morale and smart so.
Gotta memorize that nonsense too. PACE, very important. Describes my future powers and code of conduct and things.
Must get on with this...
23:20, I've got to be up and moving in 4 hours 40 minuets for a FITNESS TEST, and I'm blowing yellow goo out of my snout and listening to the popping noises from my nose.
At this point, I just said FUCK IT, SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK and decided to write up answers to the Week 5 Victims and Witnesses Certificate in Policing exam on Saturday.
Had to pause around Question 4 because I just realized that, beyond the nonsense about legislation and you can arrest a chap for this but only if this and if he crosses the room and stands on one leg whilst blowing his nose you cant arrest him for that but you can arrest him for this but if he drops the tissue on the ground this gets added to it BLAAAH, I actually kinda love the information analysis and management as much as games design.
They're equally as fascinating for their depth and complexity.
During the Day 1 mental interview I took at the same place I'm off to later on today they had us do scenario interviews with people and I enjoyed that too. Reading what had gone on, formulating questions, finding out information, it was very engaging.
It was odd just how much I enjoyed it really seeing as most of my life I've avoided people on principle, but I guess it's the difference between social engagement and social work.
I'm not here to be their mate, I'm here to find out what they know and make everyone's lives better and safer. It's system management, not interpersonal socialism, and I can do the former with a concussion.
Point is that I think I'm going to enjoy being a copper, which is awesome news because things I don't enjoy I tend to subconsciously fail.
Anyway, all I need do is roll up at MPS offices tomorrow, ask a few questions, do a few laps, explain about the raging flu and mucus [god dam you universe] and then come home and memorize this victims and witnesses lark for the follo...for to-mor-row...[god dam you universe].
Landlady might be pissed that I'm not paying a couple of hundred in rent I owe until Monday, but life can be hard sometimes, like being evicted mid first-job-in-five-years-six-month-employment-process [bitch].
My ability to see the other person's point of view, normally something that makes your average star look a lil tiny by comparison, has been severely diminished as of late.
Sometime around flu the week of a fitness test/exam was when it happened, I think.
Still got the utmost consideration for other people, that's built in, but those assholes who made my personal situation worse still have a target on their foreheads.
Breaks over, I think, back to it.
Day 2, sleep, revision, Wk5 Exam, SLEEP, then probably running around on Monday seeing to getting Day 2 form info I'm currently missing and doing week 5 of my college course, plus moving out.
Won't be so bad. Place I'm going to is about half as cheap as it is here so I'll have spare money from my benefits, I'm putting most of my stuff into storage before hand, and to be frank, having to go to the library or not having wifi in my room [last I checked it was either wifi on the first floor or a goods nights sleep on the second floor as the ground floor has live music at night] to do college work will probably do quite a bit for focusing my ability to concentrate.
My main goal and occupation in life is to pass the certificate in basic policing course, and thus far I'm blagging it. Doing tests because I've created a database of course content and searching it for the answers. I've not memorized most of the information from the first four weeks or done the optional reading or activities. I've not looked like an idiot thus far because my tutor is a pillock who reads presentation notes from the online database and most of the work is common sense, and I'm morale and smart so.
Gotta memorize that nonsense too. PACE, very important. Describes my future powers and code of conduct and things.
Must get on with this...
17/06/2014
On Bleh...
...Go away...
...
Woke up. Tried to write. Failed. Failed again. Gave up. Watched 24. Showered. Went to hypermarket. Bought processed food and meds. Coughed. Came home. Coughed more. Drinking caffeine.
2 days until my fitness test. Ran 3-4 times in the last two weeks. Fucking assholes.
Watching Longmire and new Falling Skies.
Wanted to write more on games design. My quadfecta of good MMORPG design, plus games design thesis from MOBA base to MMORPG flourish. Can't right now. Just can't focus. Ba...
Tomorrow I need to go cancel this tribunal and see a fucking doctor. Don't know why I've been putting it off continually but this is no joke. Someone has to look at my throat. Months of wheezy wet coughing isn't fucking right.
...
*flips table*
...
Woke up. Tried to write. Failed. Failed again. Gave up. Watched 24. Showered. Went to hypermarket. Bought processed food and meds. Coughed. Came home. Coughed more. Drinking caffeine.
2 days until my fitness test. Ran 3-4 times in the last two weeks. Fucking assholes.
Watching Longmire and new Falling Skies.
Wanted to write more on games design. My quadfecta of good MMORPG design, plus games design thesis from MOBA base to MMORPG flourish. Can't right now. Just can't focus. Ba...
Tomorrow I need to go cancel this tribunal and see a fucking doctor. Don't know why I've been putting it off continually but this is no joke. Someone has to look at my throat. Months of wheezy wet coughing isn't fucking right.
...
*flips table*
16/06/2014
On Illness...
I did not make that, but it's entirely accurate to my personal circumstances, except I'm not even half that positive a person and currently hate the universe [as though I ever stopped] on the basis that I HAVE THE FIRST FUCKING FITNESS TEST OF MY ENTIRE THREE DECADE LIFE ON FRIDAY FOR MY FIRST JOB IN FIVE YEARS FOR CRYING OUT BLOODY LOUD.
---
Woke up. Prayed for death. Watched 24. Stumbled to the hypermarket nearby. Bought Beechams All-In-One. Drank a third of the bottle. Bought a fuckton of fruit, two pizzas, several large cans of caffeine, and some breakfast cereal, all of which have in common one factor; I can unpeel/unwrap/pop/pour into bowl and devour in one easy movement. Felt better as the meds hit my blood and the caffeine started to soak into my glands.
Bravado aside, cus I currently feel proud of myself for climbing out of my cave and getting to the hypermarket for meds when lesser mortals would've just laid in bed and whimpered, I really, really need a doctor to check my fucking lungs out. For months now if I wheeze on purpose it sounds wet and makes me cough and that can't be right. I think I gave myself flu by taking large quantities of Guaifenesin which reportedly causes, in large quantities, whatever is in your lungs and bronchi to go upwards into the back of your throat and sinuses which is where all my mucus is currently residing.
My current plan is to simply buy some more All in One on Thursday and drank half the bottle Friday morning to disable whatever is effecting me long enough to do the fitness exam. They might find that I'm ill, but a] can't disqualify me on temporary flu and b] it'll allow me to move long enough to pass the running test.
---
I just have to make this point again and again:
I can't find a job in years.
I decide to apply for the police as they only care that someone can pass their tests and get their certification, rather than dismissing individuals based on their CV [the military was an option to but I've got a root objection to taking orders for lesser minds, which means pretty much everyone, including officers of higher rank; my personal judgement supercedes any other in most circumstances if I know what the situation is about, so I don't take orders easily].
OK, so I'm taking instruction from a bloody pillock on police protocols [laws, the justice system, police powers, etc.] and the material is disorganized and verbose garbage, but once I reorganize it, it's fine.
I pass the in-person interview Day 1 despite being massively tired, hungry, and inexperienced with customer service by simply being an intelligent and sensible human being.
And now, in the same fucking week, I have both a fitness test, an exam, flu, a long term and persistent respiratory condition which makes it hard to work-out, plus hanging over my head, a benefits tribunal and eviction, with unsympathetic assholes in every position of authority who's views about my personal situation consist of 'It sucks to be you, trolololol'.
I don't think the point can be raised too many times; why the fucking hell is the universe so fucking hard on me?
I mean, it's not just giving me a beat down, it's not just ignoring me, I don't just have social issues to deal with.
It's that if I don't try to accomplish anything, then it's pretty bad because I have nothing, no life, and no possibility to things getting better. I just exist and survive.
But when I try, it's never just a case of a challenging course, or tests to be completed, oh no, for me, for little ole me, I have to have some extra edge to the event in question which makes it a few times harder than it would be for anyone else.
I get intelligence, and a family who hate intellectuals.
I get to go to university, and a course run by people who don't understand the subject.
I get a deep and passionate interest in games development, and live in a country where there's hardly any industry, whilst those in the industry are a bunch of clowns.
So, after I abandon my family, find a new source of education, and try to take an interest in a new career, I then have to deal with a counterproductive factor at each stage; lack of mental focus during mental testing, illness during fitness testing, idiotic tutor during essential education, and so on.
Sometimes I really do wonder if this, life, is some sort of highly realistic game of The Sims, and my personal player is the type of bastard who waits until his Sim goes swimming and then removes the ladder to the pool, then sits there cackling to himself before posting the video on celestial YouTube.
I don't know.
What choice do I have?
It's this, apathy and stasis, or death.
Fighting the gods, mortal death or eventual death, those are the only real options.
I just wish there was a reward somewhere.
Good, good, now you've worked hard, done a good job, proved your mettle, here's a bag of wonga, go have fun on your Alienware PC in your own apartment with your kitters named Deathwing, GG.
That's what everyone else seems to get, even if they've got the intellect of a pet rock. Instead I get this shhhit plus people asking me why I'm so fucking angry all the time.
I mean, why do you think?
---
Fuck it, whatever.
I wasn't going to post today but the meds revived me enough to at least do some bitching so I can probably do some more college work now.
Tuesday-Thursday I've got to revise Victims and Witnesses for my exam on Saturday. This means by the end of today I want the Day 2 forms filled out and out the way.
Do those forms and then Week 4 of the college course online mats today then, revise three days, fitness interview, exam, and then online quizzes and week 5 next week, along with checking in with the job center.
The week after [the very start of next month] I have to move out. And at some point in the next 10 days, well 3 days really, I need to cancel my benefits tribunal hearing, which I still haven't done as I've not taken the three hour jaunt to take care of it.
...hold up:
MONDAY: Day 2 Forms / Week 4 and Quizzes
TUESDAY-THURSDAY: Week 5 Exam Revision
WEDNESDAY: ERRANDS
- Cancel Housing Benefits Tribunal by Wednesday
- See Job Adviser for Sign On Appointment
- Arrange acom
FRIDAY: Day 2
SATERDAY: Week 5 Exam
WEDNESDAY: Job Centre Plus Check In
WEEK STARTING 30TH: Move things into storage and into acom
THRUOUT: Apply Week Daily
That's the stuff. My todo list for the next couple of weeks.
I just hope I'm well enough to go wandering on Wednesday and fit enough for the test on Friday, plus I can remember wtf the answers are to the exam on Saturday.
At this point, I can but give it a go.
Going to go add some pictures to http://codexars.blogspot.co.uk/, eat some more fruit, play a lil Hearthstone maybe whilst so doing, and then fill out Day 2 forms whilst not-watching Game of Thrones, which is fucking awesome.
Adieu.
12/06/2014
On Ruby...
So apparently there are some side effects to frying one's brain like an egg in the sun, which I know I did cus my head is tanned from the top down now.
Said side effects include the world feeling like it's fogged with yellow heat haze. ._.
Slowly feeling better and eating, for some strange reason, like a piranha. Haven't eaten very much in the last few weeks and lost quite a bit of weight, but so far I've eaten wheeties, a salad and egg on toast one after the other in the last few hours. Go figure.
---
When I woke up this morning in the aforementioned sun stroked haze something fairly amusing happened.
I was watching the end of S05 of 24 where Jack is in his prime and hunting down the treacherous President in that hoodie and blue jeans, pulling off quite a nice bad ass act in the process, and didn't have the mental wherewithal to get undressed.
I wasn't wearing a shirt because it was too hot even for the copious bear suit I have on over my skin, so I just fell asleep wearing my blue jeans sometime around 3am.
This resulted in about two handfuls of change, which I collected from breaking up notes yesterday as it was too hot to riffle through coins to pay for anything, coating the bottom of my bed from my pockets.
When I woke up I staggered to the kitchen desperate for a drink, but on the way I heard coins dropping to the floor every few paces.
Turns out the aforementioned two handfuls of change were glued to my back by sweat and pressure on flat disks of metal and were now dropping off one by one as I moved.
I had to laugh at that. xD
---
Because of being cooked yesterday I didn't get to cancelling the Tribunal and getting a new check in time with the job centre and today. Just gonna leave it till Monday, grab my phone and some credit and make a couple of calls job done.
This will solve both issues because a] I don't know where the Tribunal is to cancel the hearing, so phone some clerk to the Tribunal who I have the number for and ask him what I need to do to cancel it and arrange repayment, and b] I can't get to my adviser in person to book a new appointment time for not next week but the week after but I have his number to.
I hate phones. Email is so much easier but so many organisations don't readily have and so many people can't just write an email and send a reasonable reply.
People look askance at me when I say I hate phones. Then I send them the same look when they say they don't have an email address. Ever heard of Gmail man?
I dun know.
---
So fall out from yesterday is that I feel like underdone pork [fun fact: humans taste sorta like pork], I need to apply for 2 jobs before the end of the day and record that on the job centre website even though neither of them will reply, and my appetite has returned from it's holidays.
Gonna do college work now and then drag myself outside for some running.
---
The only other thought that's peculating through my gently cooling neural pathways is that my primitive brain would give a significant quantity of things to get to call the camgirl Ruby Renegade mine.
I've got a draft post about porn on here and the basic fundamental point is that it's not enough to have beauty, lots of people are beautiful by general standards, you need the right kind of driving mind and instincts behind it.
I mean, yes, Ruby's hot and she works at maintaining it, but that's true of a lot of girls. And besides, she's Asian, and Asian girls almost by design don't even have to try to look as cute as kittens to any Western male, it's just built in like humans typically have hair.
The point is that Ruby isn't just a hottie on cam. She is beautiful and she works at her performance to the best possible effect. She does what she does almost perfectly.
Alright so she could use a better camera for her live shows, that part is a lil unprofessional really. And the background music she uses is sometimes a little too hard [Korn for example] even if she is a rock chick. It just kind of spoils the mood as I listen to that stuff for violent acts like exercise, not sensual acts like orgasms.
However she has the perfect figure, and she has just enough makeup, and she knows what we want to see her do, and she squirt cums on camera, doesn't over do it with the moans or sexy talk, and the aftermath is never just 'I came, now I might as well be chatting with my mother and not realizing I'm butt naked', but kind of sensual glow effect which is actually quite appealing.
I've seen anything and everything, and out of all the things, if I could have sex with anyone, it would be Ruby and then some. Assuming of course two things; firstly that she would be into it (obviously, but I thought I had better make the point) and secondly that she had the right kind of personality.
I don't take it as writ that amazingly sexy female equals intelligent and capable human being [though some sort of hobby as a fighter or something is fantastic as far as my caveman instincts are concerned].
I would just like to think that one of the most beautiful, sexy and desirable creatures that I've ever encountered in any regard isn't a bleedin pillock.
Not that any of that matters really. She's a camgirl and they, very rightly, go in for keeping a very large and solid wall between themselves and their audience.
I prefer to think of her as an example; there are potential lovers like Ruby out there, and if you ever get the chance, try your best to impress and don't settle for less.
A boi can dream. Of this. Very, very naked and nearby... :>
Said side effects include the world feeling like it's fogged with yellow heat haze. ._.
Slowly feeling better and eating, for some strange reason, like a piranha. Haven't eaten very much in the last few weeks and lost quite a bit of weight, but so far I've eaten wheeties, a salad and egg on toast one after the other in the last few hours. Go figure.
---
When I woke up this morning in the aforementioned sun stroked haze something fairly amusing happened.
I was watching the end of S05 of 24 where Jack is in his prime and hunting down the treacherous President in that hoodie and blue jeans, pulling off quite a nice bad ass act in the process, and didn't have the mental wherewithal to get undressed.
I wasn't wearing a shirt because it was too hot even for the copious bear suit I have on over my skin, so I just fell asleep wearing my blue jeans sometime around 3am.
This resulted in about two handfuls of change, which I collected from breaking up notes yesterday as it was too hot to riffle through coins to pay for anything, coating the bottom of my bed from my pockets.
When I woke up I staggered to the kitchen desperate for a drink, but on the way I heard coins dropping to the floor every few paces.
Turns out the aforementioned two handfuls of change were glued to my back by sweat and pressure on flat disks of metal and were now dropping off one by one as I moved.
I had to laugh at that. xD
---
Because of being cooked yesterday I didn't get to cancelling the Tribunal and getting a new check in time with the job centre and today. Just gonna leave it till Monday, grab my phone and some credit and make a couple of calls job done.
This will solve both issues because a] I don't know where the Tribunal is to cancel the hearing, so phone some clerk to the Tribunal who I have the number for and ask him what I need to do to cancel it and arrange repayment, and b] I can't get to my adviser in person to book a new appointment time for not next week but the week after but I have his number to.
I hate phones. Email is so much easier but so many organisations don't readily have and so many people can't just write an email and send a reasonable reply.
People look askance at me when I say I hate phones. Then I send them the same look when they say they don't have an email address. Ever heard of Gmail man?
I dun know.
---
So fall out from yesterday is that I feel like underdone pork [fun fact: humans taste sorta like pork], I need to apply for 2 jobs before the end of the day and record that on the job centre website even though neither of them will reply, and my appetite has returned from it's holidays.
Gonna do college work now and then drag myself outside for some running.
---
The only other thought that's peculating through my gently cooling neural pathways is that my primitive brain would give a significant quantity of things to get to call the camgirl Ruby Renegade mine.
I've got a draft post about porn on here and the basic fundamental point is that it's not enough to have beauty, lots of people are beautiful by general standards, you need the right kind of driving mind and instincts behind it.
I mean, yes, Ruby's hot and she works at maintaining it, but that's true of a lot of girls. And besides, she's Asian, and Asian girls almost by design don't even have to try to look as cute as kittens to any Western male, it's just built in like humans typically have hair.
The point is that Ruby isn't just a hottie on cam. She is beautiful and she works at her performance to the best possible effect. She does what she does almost perfectly.
Alright so she could use a better camera for her live shows, that part is a lil unprofessional really. And the background music she uses is sometimes a little too hard [Korn for example] even if she is a rock chick. It just kind of spoils the mood as I listen to that stuff for violent acts like exercise, not sensual acts like orgasms.
However she has the perfect figure, and she has just enough makeup, and she knows what we want to see her do, and she squirt cums on camera, doesn't over do it with the moans or sexy talk, and the aftermath is never just 'I came, now I might as well be chatting with my mother and not realizing I'm butt naked', but kind of sensual glow effect which is actually quite appealing.
I'm not gonna link it, but if you can find it, look for the PoV blow job she did on her knees to a dil on a wall. If you're into women it'll crack your personal engine block.I'm in my late twenties, never had an issue with abstinence or addiction where my own corpus is concerned [I just don't have that kind of personality...caffeine doesn't count at this point, not when your blood is 9/10ths go-jooce] and I'm a hardcore geek who lives online.
I've seen anything and everything, and out of all the things, if I could have sex with anyone, it would be Ruby and then some. Assuming of course two things; firstly that she would be into it (obviously, but I thought I had better make the point) and secondly that she had the right kind of personality.
I don't take it as writ that amazingly sexy female equals intelligent and capable human being [though some sort of hobby as a fighter or something is fantastic as far as my caveman instincts are concerned].
I would just like to think that one of the most beautiful, sexy and desirable creatures that I've ever encountered in any regard isn't a bleedin pillock.
Not that any of that matters really. She's a camgirl and they, very rightly, go in for keeping a very large and solid wall between themselves and their audience.
I prefer to think of her as an example; there are potential lovers like Ruby out there, and if you ever get the chance, try your best to impress and don't settle for less.
A boi can dream. Of this. Very, very naked and nearby... :>