On Trying...

Evening.

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Writing this inside Google's Chrome browser instead of FireFox cus I was curious to see which ran better [security isn't really an issue for me, it's getting people to NOTICE me that's the bloody trick] and it did, especially TOME: Immortal Arena, the current MOBA game I'm playing, so I decided to swap to this for now.

Easy enough seeing as Google were smart enough to import all my bookmarks and things from FireFox and included the bookmark tab bar which I use all the time. Missing the drag to scroll extension I have in FireFox sometimes, but this thing works better so, suits me.

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• http://www.reallifecomics.com/

I'm a goat and just blew up a gas station with an axe...stuck...to...my...tongue... ._. ...*commits suicide*

That's it, he says from beyond the grave, there is no hope left for humanity.

Some people aspire to make whole virtual worlds as computer games where people can almost live inside mystical lands of pure joy and imagination...and then some people make buggy trippy goat simulators and find out that what people really want in a game is to be a goat who wrecks human society with an dexterous mouth appendage.

This is why we can't have nice things. >.<

• http://tapiture.com/tap/335573164/santa-problemz

You know you've seen waaay too much Californication when you find this funny. xD

• http://www.owlboy.com/wowwiki/mMurlocAggroB.mp3 - :O

Found today that I have matching holes in my trainers, and you could say that it's solidarity between those under the heel of the oppressor. :P #suchanerd

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In darker news; I'm in another fucked up situation [these things are weekly events in my universe].

Got £140 in job seeker benefits this morning and I'm getting another £160 on Monday, leaving me a little less than £300 to cover my new acom costs. I owe my landlady, as of Monday next, £200. I need between £210 and £240 to pay for the deposit and a weeks rent on new accommodation. So either I can pay all the rent I owe here and have nothing to pay for my new living conditions. Or I can pay nothing here and rip my landlady off and have somewhere to sleep next Monday.

Gotta love life eh?

I could probably pay most of what I owe and stay in a hostel, but that's a living death and I'd rather piss her off than go doing that again.

So she's buggered as I need to pay for somewhere to sleep, but asides from not wanting to do it to her, I also might not get away with it because she might at least try to kick me out in the next seven days. It would still be a dam stupid thing to do as she'd miss out on any chance of getting £200 in rent, but she could do it and leave me up shit creek.

I wonder if coppers need to be good liars because I've had more than a little practise. Fortunately it's not hard to sell the lie really as I've waited a week or two before paying my rent in full before so saying that and 'I'll settle up when I go' isn't that odd for me.

I just don't have a better option right now, so this is the way it's going to be. Regret and sorrow are for those who don't get shit on by humans on a weekly basis, however. I don't feel much of anything about the situation [thank the fucking hell for that], I'm just doing whatever I can to keep afloat until I finish my college course and get hired by the police [assuming that fitness instructor didn't blow that shit up with her complaint, but I should be able to appeal it if she does...for crying out fucking loud humanity].

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Sent the seventh or eighth letter to the student loans company about section 4 of my 24+ Student Loan application, giving them the same information those assholes have already been given by me AND confirmed on their own system.

I'm allowed the fucking loan, but they needed a copy of the form with the boxes checked, and sent me a letter with the request and my details on it and everything. So I went to the library, printed off the relevant page, three fucking times mark you, filled out each and sent it back to em with a message saying 'Process it in 2 weeks or it's time for the lawyers'.

I don't see why this shit was so fucking hard to get done, I really don't.

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Dropped about half a dozen pairs of jeans off at a heart health charity shop as I couldn't sell them and am in no mood to try. Got thanked much for the donation [it was just jeans people, wow] and ran away. I just didn't know what the fuck else to do with em. *shrug*

Never buying wholesale shit again and trying to sell it. I'm a magus, not a merchant. I couldn't sell a glass of water to a desert dweller, though I could probably tell him where he is and what type of sand he's standing on after a while.

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Downloaded The Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne, which is meant to be in the same genre as one of my favourite audiobook series called The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher.

I get the impression that it's a bit mediocre as these things go, but I saw it years ago when the first one came out and, as I apparently don't ever forget things I don't forget on purpose which will later come back to bite me in the ass, I'm curious about it now.

Going to finish off the last few of The Watch novels, a sub-series in The Discworld Chronicles by Terry Pratchett, to round up my umpteenth listen of all 40 odd Discworld novels, and then give it a go.

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I've got this picture of this A-List celebrity called Maggie Grace on my desktop, who's this goddess blond chick who played the love interest in S06 of Californication, and the teenage sister in Lost.

Beautiful women, but usually I ignore celebrities because they tend to be the modern equivalent of aristocrats; elite social society who're totally out of touch with the common troll in the street due to their wealth, fame, and socialist life style.

Occasionally though I get interested in the buggers because sometimes they turn out to be real human beings who're just incidentally uber famous and have actually have some genuine talent.

James Spader for example. I've seen a shit ton of media in my time and the way he acts and the parts he plays makes him something special in the field. Don't know about him in her personal life, bar what's on Wikipedia, but the guy can fucking act man. Peter Dinklage too. That guys a fucking legend for his work in Game of Thrones.

Anyway, my point here was that Maggie Grace's Twitter stream is filled with quotes and things...fuck, actually here and now they seem like pretentious nonsense, like most quotes really.

People take the statements of the professionally witty, remove them from their context and use them to make some abstract point no one except for them really understand. Or they end up sounding like a motivational poster, and I hate that shit. Those are the modern equivalent of 'Hang In There Baby' cat posts, and just as empty and meaningless.

SHE'S FUCKING HOT, that's my point. She's hot and for a moment I thought she might be intelligent but it's more likely that she's just a pretender, like the rest of her actor ilk.

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I keep checking out Craigslist Los Angeles missed connections for these posts being made by this closet-transsexual girl called Dodger who is a vlogger from YouTube [most of them are being posted by her, and you'll see it after a while of reading them that they all share a similar theme and structure] who I'm beyond in love with [the type of love that the sight of them makes your melt into a puddle, where they can do no wrong, and you'd eat your own arms to touch them with a toe] and is, in case you haven't gathered, a mad as a spoon.

She posts on there due to crippling social-anxiety which prevents her from having normal relationships, or maybe she's just trying to fuck with me, I've never quite clarified that really.

Point is that I'm never going to email her ever again, but I do check it from time to time. Not entirely sure why really. Probably out of 'love', but that shit is toxic and so's she so I'm staying far away from her for my own benefit. It's not a healthy situation, and she's not mentally healthy. Doesn't stop me feeling how I do, but just because the poison tastes nice doesn't mean you should drink it.

I want someone to love and be with, but I'm too damaged, too much of a freak, too intelligent in the wrong way to ever achieve that. It's just nice to think that someone out there desires my company and is on my side sometimes, even if they should be institutionalized for being terminally batshit.

[This is one of those things that you shouldn't try to contact me about...if I put contact details anywhere on this site anyway...because I know what the truth is, and that's all that matters. I have nothing to prove here.]

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SOHYEH: swapped to Chrome over FireFox, teehee, ripping off my landlady so I have somewhere to sleep, student loan companies are fucking annoying [if I owed them money they'd be on my ass like fireants], selling shit is hard, listening to the Iron Druid Chronicles after The Discworld, Maggie Grace is hawt, and I'm still playing TOME. Also gotten used to the new Linkin Park album, The Hunting Party, and quite enjoying it now.

Going to get some sammitches and eat some fruit and then do college work for five hours.

I've sent out a bunch of emails to various leasers but they probably won't reply to them. Gotta put some credit on my phone tomorrow and start calling people.

When I went out today I didn't cough as much as I thought I would, but I do think it's a bad case of strep because when I exerted myself [which is pretty dam easy because I've not gotten any exercise in weeks] I started coughing my guts up, so I expect anti-bios will be able to take care of it.

Doctors. Wednesday. GG.

And that's it; college work, searching for acom. Day 1

Post again tomorrow.

Good evening.

On Renting...

Sup.

Still Sunday [two in a day, but I missed Saturday due to flagellation...look that shit up bitches] and sometime around mid-afternoon I found enough of me to shower and go to the hypermarket for foods, of which I've not yet eaten cus my flatmates are camping in the kitchen, as usual.

In the meantime I've been looking over the next few days, which are probably going to annoy the ever loving shit out of me.

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My landlady is expecting £165 tomorrow plus £90 for the next week, or £255.

What I owe is actually £30 less than that as she's charging me £10 more than I care to pay for the room at a rate of £100 a week, when it's worth only £80 according to the council, and I'm paying £90 out of choice because I like living here. It's a cheek anyway because she was charging me £70 when I moved in and we increased it by mutual consent until I dropped it to £90 from £100 once I learned what it was actually worth.

I will only have about £210 available so she's not getting £255. Plus I need to eat this week so £180 is more accurate a figure of what she's getting. Although frankly I'm entertaining thoughts of paying £0.00 and moving everything into storage and paying for a hostel bed until I can move into this £55 a week place [assuming they're fully booked as of now].

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On the one hand, she's been better than any other landlady or lord I've ever had so I don't want to do that. On the other hand, over charging me for one and half years means she owes me more than that. I'm honest and fair, and if you're not then I make you pay for it.

That's how I deal with people who mess me about. My parents never cared about me, so I stopped caring about them; I just disowned them and left them confused as to why I vanished.

It's so much easier and cleaner to be passive-aggressive than outright aggressive, especially as it's much harder to counter effectively once performed. Sneaky sneaky is always a winner.

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Besides anything else though my landlady can't do anything to me by law in the time remaining except complain.

To evict me she'd need a court order, which she'd have to pay for and acquire which would take more than 2 weeks. If she blocks my access to the property then I could have her and anyone who assists arrested for theft [taking of my property unlawfully] or assault and battery [prevention of lawful access and physical force to prevent access to the property].

She might not know her rights, evidenced by believing that she's responsible for repairing the kitchen window for example because that is actually the property owner's responsibility, but I know mine.

I don't want to go through all this you understand, but I'm trying to ensure my application to the police goes through, and I need money to do it, and that means my rent is late.

My life sucks ass and in trying to make it suck less, and in so doing someone has to suffer to pay for it. I'm trying to spread that suffering around a bit so no one get's too much. It's just how life works.

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That said, she gave me this big speech on being hard-done-by, oh we've got a baby, oh we've got bills to pay, my husband has to cover it all cus I'm on holiday [ye gods, what's one of them?], oh our rent is going to be unpaid and we won't have a good reference, WAAA, well...

Is that a wide screen TV I see in your living room? The kid has waaay more toys than I did as a child, even though this was 25 years ago. He has £10 dolls, £50 plastic rideable cars, and a £100 playhouse in the garden. I had trees. You have a fish tank too. I don't have more than 2 sets of shoes. BBQ tonight is it? That's nice. How nice for you that is. I'll be lucky to eat egg for protein this week. That mobile you're using to send me bitchy texts, that a newest model iPhone is it? FUCK.

I hate it when people try to lie to me.

I can tell when people are lying based on the tone of their fucking voice for crying out loud. I'm a fucking epic liar and know all about 'just enough truth to rot the claim to the core whilst keeping it believable' method of lying, and you stand there and give me the hard-up spiel!?

...Good grief...I've learned, oh hells bells have I ever learned. I've learned about assholes and how to play the game of bugger the other bloke, and although she's smarter than I gave her credit for she's got no cards in her hand.

UPDATE: 00:33, 23/06/14: Ya know, I thought about it some and realized that they probably have savings. I mean, how stupid would you need to be to go around buying things like widescreen TV's and not keep a few hundred aside for emergencies.

I don't cus I live week to week, but these guys have their own apartment so surely they've got enough to cover it. And she gives me the hard-up speech? Pff.

Tomorrow when I go to the bank I'm just going to pay a reasonable amount, probably 2 weeks at £90, and use the rest to arrange the new acom and that.

If she asks me why I've not paid in full, start with 'Because I didn't get it all back from the buggers who took it out last week', then onto 'It's in your own interests to wait for the rest next week' and finally 'Look, according to UK law you can't evict me without a court order, and you won't get one in 7 days, and if you try it's technical theft and you can be arrested'.

Precise run down of the situation from my perspective; either she buys my extended technically true lie, the fact that if she evicts me she'll get nothing more, or the abject fact that she literally can't evict me without being arrested for trying.

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I've not paid my rent on time in the last few weeks because I'm damn used to landlords and landladies trying their best to fuck me over on my way out the door.

She's not got a deposit from me, she's got rent owed from me, and she's got no legal recourse against me to stop me going or claim the money. This keeps her honest. She doesn't dare try to throw me out because she'll get nothing if she does. She doesn't piss me off either in case I go and don't pay up. If I paid her that would let her do whatever she wants. I'm using debt as a power, weakness for control.

No. All she's got is my honesty. Now, that will get her the money for the time I spent here, eventually, but I'm not going to starve or be homeless to do it. Granted for that piece of bull about being hard-up I'm tempted to screw her over as poetic justice, but there's no real need to as she can't boot me out using force by the law so.

Human empathy. Consideration. Care.

It's amazing how these qualities are so lacking in so many so called people, and how the effect bounces around. The property owner doesn't care so my flatmates pay for it, who then bitch at and annoy me but find resistance, who then annoy the property owner by not paying, and around and around we go.

Besides that, it's amazing how people rent property and then lose all interest in it. It's just money. Don't worry who is living there and why, don't worry about building maintenance, don't worry about circumstances or show human consideration to the people living there, it's just money. If it's coming in, gravy, if not, evict em and find someone else who'll pay consistently.

That's landlords in my experience, and I expect most people would say the same. I wouldn't think like that if I had property. I've been on the ass end of that attitude for way too long.

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What I wanted was to leave her cleanly, all debts settled, all my things in a taxi and moved to my new like-for-like accommodation.

What I have instead is almost the opposite of that.

If I don't kill myself trying to get into the police [this weekend being a near-miss] then maybe my next acom will be like that. I get training pay, I can do the work, I just need this lung issue resolved and about 3 months...and maybe remain calm at my Day 2 appeal because of that bloody fitness instructor's complaint. FUCKING ASSHOLES MAN, that gods dam fitness instructor.

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Going to go make noodles and pizza and do some cleaning and maybe do a little college work before getting a good nights sleep.

Tomorrow doctors, pay some rent, cancel tribunal, book room at the inn [£55 a week place], maybe move stuff into storage that I don't need ready access to, and write up revision materials for Week 6 exams.

Two exams, writing up the revision materials ASAP so I can spend an hour a day drumming them into my skull for 2 weeks. Then just spend the remainder of the time doing the coursework. My major catch up last week whilst ill got me through most of the work itself but not the quizzes, but those are comparatively short, it's the reading and that which takes up most of the time.

But that's it; move and course/work revise...WELL, except for a couple of bits of information that I was lacking from the Day 2, like the doctors sign health sigh-off signature but that's just errand work.

Once I've been to the doctors and gotten some anti-bios or something for this persistent lung issue I can do college work and exercise no worries. And the extra money from lower rent costs can be used to buy new clothes and things.

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Was considering if the vent that I've sealed up with duck tape caused my persistent cough. My flatmates have told me about mold in their room and things which has given their kid health issues, so I wonder if the same has impacted my lungs and will only clear up once I've left.

If that's true, and I can find a law which stages that vents are the property owners responsibility than I could sue her for making me sick in a civil suit.

Bit tenuous though that. I'd need to prove that whatever is in my lungs got there from exposure to whatever is living in the flat. This would probably cost more to check than I could get from winning, and might not even have been what is causing it.

I think it's strep personally. Cold air running fed lactic acid to strep bacteria and that's why it flares up when I exert myself and makes it hard to breath due to pneumonia. I need anti-bios to kill it which is why it's not gone and why I got flu recently by trying to power through it.

Probably not the mold here that caused it, even if it's not helping in getting rid of it. I just suspect it since it got bad about 2-3 months ago when the whether changed from winter to summer.

Move and doctors for anti-bios and I should be OK. It was just a bugger with the fitness test, but I got through it anyway.

Watevs...

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Just give me three months and I should be in fine condition to start training as a copper.

Gonna try anyway.

FOOD. :O <<<