Tempus Fugit...

Sup. Thursday. Few things happened, although little that's a big deal.

Paid rent and things [things being laundry and buying bulk food items] on Monday. Have to relocate hostels again, again, this coming Monday after everywhere else in central London got mysteriously booked solid in it's cheaper beds.

The whether sours, the summer is over, and suddenly where I had no issues of accommodation over the summer, where it cost me about 60 a week for the crappy 'it's somewhere to sleep indoors' accommodation I'm currently staying in, everywhere is now charging 100-130 per week. Mother fucking assholes.

So I'm now moving out of central London into North East and staying in somewhere which is still costing me 10 more than where I was, about 80. Its going to be a pain in the ass to move, but there's no choice, I need the money.

I especially need the money because on Tuesday, got an email from the police recruitment office reminding me that I never handed in some medical documentation to them. Said medical documentation is simply a form which I filled out and my doctor, who I haven't seen, apart from that fucking chest infection, in ten fucking years, signed and is now charging me £30.00 to buy from him, like it was some sort of effort for the bastard to sign off. No discounts for the unemployed either. Bastards. There was a hint though that unless I get my recruitment with the MPS finished soon then they'll cancel my application, so I have to hand it in and this Monday.

So of course, after that I get a phone call from the recruitment office the job center referred me to asking [See: telling] me to come in for my marching orders the following day at 11am. And like I predicted they told me that 4 days a week, 6 hours a day, I need to be doing some sort of ill-defined job skills training course for 8 weeks, and the other day, Monday, I need to check in with their offices.

So in this hand we have the Metropolitan Police Service telling me to hurry the fuck up with my application.

And in this hand we have the Job Center telling me they're here to get me into work whilst taking the time away I need to finish off my certification course and be prepared for training with a job skills training course which is designed for people who have 1/10th my intelligence if that.

Like usual, my life is organizing itself so what should be a fairly easy task - a few quizzes and a 2 hour exam - is neigh impossible because humanity is trying to help me...and people wonder why I hate humans.

The one bright spot is that this doesn't seem all that hard really.

The college work, after a bit of organization, appears to be no more than 1-2 days hard work. 2/3rds of the remaining coursework quizzes were 0-10 questions long, and I did them. The remaining 3 are 25ish each. Then I just need to answer about a dozen questions in the exams, which shouldn't be too hard once I look up the answers and drum them into my abused skull.

I have time for that little work...I think...though that still leaves me behind in the revision of the materials so I know what I'm about on the first day of training.

I'm not at all confident about this job skills training course thingy though. I've done such things before and what they amount to is a lot of busy work without any real guidance.

What's currently got me at a loss though is that I've told the job center, the job recruitment company, and will tell the people teaching this course they're forcing me to do, about my neigh finished certification course and impending training into the police...and no one seems to care or even noticed...

I feel like a man with a doctorate in some complicated subject who has been told that the start date of his new positing is forthcoming but not yet defined and being told by the job center that by government regulation he needs to take GCSE Maths and English, of the grade they teach illiterate immigrants.

5 minuets from victory the people keeping me alive have decided to cause the maximum damage they're able to snatch it away from me...

Normally I would consider it grossly imprudent and unwise, but when I have the start date and it's all settled and paid for until I actually enter training, I'm going to tell that asshole at the job center who calls himself my 'Job Coach' that he's a fucking bastard for trying to screw me over at the finish.

I mentioned previously that I had stripped a gear and gone apeshit at my college course tutor. I did a stupid, stupid thing and replaced that fucking gear. I need to tare it out and go a bit more apeshit, first on this job skills recruitment company and then at the job center.

The thing is that they haven't crossed that line yet. I can still win this if I get the work done. If it looks like I'm going to fail though because of them, I will let them have it. I have to. I won't lose this, not after everything.

...

Lady friend is OK. Sorta.

A week or two back she had a wire inserted into her guts through a thing called a stoma for some syndrome thingy. The wire went too far in and was hurting her so she got permission to pull it out a bit. This made it come out entirely and she got sick again. Got it put back in this week and it's apparently hurting like hell and she's got a fever and her doctor is making a house call today.

She sent me a pic this morning of herself, deathly pale except for flushed cheeks. The picture was cute and her personality is cuddly. I think I'm being toyed with by the universe again.

Last girl I showed real interest in turned out to be a transsexual [though I'm bi, so thats a non-issue] and insane - she is still cyberstalking me and posting messages addressed to me on the Los Angeles division of Craigslist's Missed Connections boards.

Her name is Brooke Lawson, also known as Brooke Leigh, from Press Heart to Continue. That boyfriend of her's is a cover because she's insane. Either she is dating him and...well, I would say fucking with me, but sane people who are fucking with someone else don't post for 4-5 years now I think, messages on an online message board to someone else, or she is lying about dating him and using him as a cover to maintain plausible deniability about any statement I may make [such as this one].

I don't care really. I hate the fact that I can't have my Twitter unlocked and simply be me anymore without that fucking creeper seeing whatever I post and posting on CL about it though. I did care about her and tried to have some sort of friendship and so on with her, but she's too mad to do anything of the sort with me.

So I have a new lady friend...who is ill and will continue to be ill indefinitely because her condition is genetic...like I said, the universe enjoys fucking with me because the only two girls who have shown interest in me as a person rather than as an ambulatory penis were/are ill, in the head and in the body.

I liked them both, but my newer lady friend at least appears to eventually be able to get better and at least talks directly to me instead of by proxy, so it's a step up I guess. Such is my retarded existence.

...

I am now hungry so I think I'm gonna go eat something and then do college work.

Tomorrow I'm going to cover the ongoing development of my thesis come industry journal on games design.

The long and short of that is that I posted on Reddit a link to view the file and some details about my intent and purpose in writing it, and the denizens in the Games Design subreddit reminded me why I don't interact with me so called peers, and hate forums; if you don't run into trolls, you still can't avoid the idiots.

Details to follow.

Good after to you all.

On Bad Days...

...Fuck me...

Woke up.

Got evicted because I'm subletting and my landlady has decided not to renew her lease after the rent was increased.

Had wheeties.

Got rejected for a minimum wage job at SEGA which I was screened for on the basis, if you can believe it, 'the calibre of applicants has been very high during this process'.

Played some Hearthstone to relax a bit from these two blows before trying to find somewhere new to live, apply for another job, and do my college work which I paid for using yet another Student Loan.

Lost every one of the ten matches I played.

...OK...bad day...

My student loan is currently on hold because they require some more information from me. This information I've given to them twice already; once over the phone, once in writing. Currently dealing with their complaints department about it.

Said complaints department, for fun, decided yesterday afternoon to ring me up as a curtsy call to tell me that they were aware of my complaint.

Not that they had or were going to do anything about it. Not that they needed me to do anything about it. Just that were aware of it.

This would've been fine, except for the fact that at the time I was dead asleep because my sleep pattern is currently fucked and I'm sleeping during the day, and then couldn't get back to sleep afterwards.

Bastards.

That phone call was yesterday.

So right now it's around 6pm.

• In a month I'll have no where to live and to find new accommodation I need to find one of the few leasers who will rent to someone on housing benefit.
• In a week I'll have next to no food budget as I use what little money I have to pay for a deposit on new accommodation [I never did actually have one where I'm currently living].

Meanwhile my brain is trying to pretend reality doesn't exist. It's a defensive mechanism of my psychological makeup. When reality get's too much to deal with, it tries to pretend it's not there. That playing games and having fun is more important that getting on with things.

I was struggling to deal yesterday with the prospect of doing my college work. Now...

---

I did have one crazy idea on how to resolve this; rent a storage container.

They cost, on a weekly basis, for the same size room, about half what I pay in rent.

Gain 24 hour access, somewhere close a gym for the shower and toilet, do my college work at the college where I'm studying, buy a cooler and few bags of ice each week that cost a pound each for food storage, and construct a nest inside the container.

I've seen pictures of people who've built actual honest to gods mansions out of storage containers, water proofed, wired with electrics and piped with plumbing. After all, a storage container is just a metal box and a house is just a concrete box.

The issue is with this is twofold.

• Firstly, most places don't have 24 hour access to the compounds they're built on. The best place I found does [and is sammitched between a 24 hour gym and an Iceland store], but would need me to be a customer for eight weeks before they'd give it to me. Doable maybe, but still...
• Secondly, my housing benefits are paid for a property. My job seekers isn't, so one hundred and forty every two weeks, forty on rent every week, works out at sixty every two weeks which is slightly less than what I have now with free access to amenities [bathroom, water, kitchen, etc.].
• Plus there's the obvious issue of what you're allowed to store there and the owners might take issue with a person living in one of their boxes.

Having a full time job, buying boxes and land and so forth, then doing them up works because I've seen it. But this impromptu set up only has the singular advantage of being accessible in the short term.

I've tried living in a hostel [instant access, pay by the day accommodation] and it's not something I ever want to repeat, which is why I was looking into this to begin with.

Finding another room to rent might be easier.

---

A few days ago my biggest issue was taking care of my college work before the weekend, with a side of chasing up results from interviews and my student loan.

Now I'm virtually homeless and starving is the only way to fix it.

Fucking hate my life, but hating it isn't going to fix anything, so I had best go get on with it.