An eSports bar run by publicans rather than a bar run by eSports fanatics, and you want the theme of anything to come before the guys running the game.
I got it into my head to go to Meltdown London, an eSports bar located in North London close to where I live and the only [or so I hear] eSports bar in the UK.
Unfortunately the bar lived up to my expectations, and for those who don't know me you should know my expectations of anything are never very high.
Ordinary pubs are filled with tables before a bar that runs down one wall of each floor, with maybe a stage on the other wall or in a corner for bands and similar.
eSports requires computers and consoles, which require desks and chairs, and generally speaking gaming houses, internet cafes, etc. look something like offices.
Meltdown London fails in both categories because it doesn't have enough seats and tables to qualify as a pub, though there's enough space for dancing, and it has only a handful of PC's and a few consoles, so take out the bar and that's most of my peer geek's and nerd's personal equipment setup.
I gave it it's chance though because I wanted to see some eSports, play some League of Legends [I still haven't gotten a new PC or Laptop yet due to my delayed application to the police service], and maybe even meet some geeky nerdy women who would like my well exercised bod and cute face.
I arrived, in pain due to overdoing the gym yesterday, didn't buy any drinks on the basis that I was there to see not to drink, played a couple of League of Legends matches [a 3/0 Fiora and a 7/3 Rammus if it matters, which isn't bad for my first matches in > 6 months], and waited for a League of Legends tournament to start about an hour or two after I arrived.
The tournament was bullshit. I worked that out after the rules were explained. Guy took a deck of cards, shuffled them, and drew one. Depending on the type - Spades, Hearts, whatever - a ruleset would then be imposed on the 2 person team and their opponents. The rule sets included playing with an upside down monitor and playing with one player holding the mouse and the other the keyboard. I was expecting actual skillful play, even drunk playing but still actual gameplay, not the day the special needs kids got let loose in the internet cafe.
I left when it became apparent that there was a ratio of 3 girls to about 25 guys, and they were taken, the tournament was bullshit, and the only other thing that a misanthrope geek could get out of being in the "eSports" pub when the free PC's were occupied with bullshit tournament was watching League of Legends on the live feed screens, except I had no clue what was going on because the resolution was too low to make out the minimaps and there was no sound so no commentary.
I left, my muscles screaming in agony, bought some pain killers, crisps and kidney bean chilli, got in, ate all three on bread, and watched some Banshee.
Then I spent some time wondering how to become a professional eSports player of League of Legends and a few other games you just don't win when playing against me.
Turns out there is no information anywhere online about the actual process. There's lots of vague advice for...well...HUMANS, along the lines of "You need to be determined and really want it and say goodbye to your social life, blah, blah, blah" which isn't an issue for a creature like me who barely qualifies as a human being.
In short it's 00:45 on a Saturday morning, I've spent several hours realizing I'm surrounded by morons, wishing I had about 1/5th my intelligence so I could fit in with the rest of the idiots who dominate the world, and trying to workout what the fuck I can do with my life other than end it via suicide seeing as no one gives a shit that I exist.
I don't care about very much. When I do care I run into events like the five major fuckups I've had in the past five months. I can't relate to anyone else, even when I go into places which are meant to be designed for people who love the same shit I do. And although I could be a major asset to a great many enterprises no one believes it or will look twice at me.
I'm stuck. I need to work. I want to be productive. But the world doesn't give a shit.
Tomorrow I'm going to post something on Indiegogo, a crowdsourced project for trying to become a pro-gamer. I could play League of Legends 24/7 and beat all comers, but I need about 15 grand UK to do it. It won't work but I need to do something to pass the time and it may be interesting.
Right now, the rest of this Banshee episode, some sleep, and then think on when I'm not so damn tired...
