Tuesday morning, 00:11am, haven't eaten a good meal in three days, the Job Center haven't processed my claim for job seekers allowance this week and I didn't get the £120.00 I should receive every two weeks on Monday, incidentally on the same week my debit transactions are delayed, my account is over-overdrawn and my bank are stacking charges for every day I don't receive my JSA.
I should get £140.00 by the way but a borough where I used to live is taking £20.00 of it in repayment for Housing Benefit I received, spent on rent like you're supposed to, but couldn't prove that's what I did it with it.
I hate my life. Just hate it. Everything always goes wrong, but not just wrong, but wrong in a way I can't fix that interacts with other bullshit situations to make it even worse.
I should get £140.00 every two weeks, and don't because even though I told the truth they called me a liar.
But I don't.
I should have gotten £120.00 yesterday morning, like I've been getting for months, been able to pay my rent, go food shopping, and see to my Doctors Medical forms to finalize my job application/offer with the London Metropolitan Police service.
But I didn't.
I should have been told how much money I had when I checked my account last week so firstly I wouldn't have overspent and could've afforded food, and secondly wouldn't have run over my overdraft limit and end up paying twice my monthly bank fees next month.
But I didn't.
I should have gotten my medical forms like everyone else has theirs and gotten into full time paid police training by now and not be worrying about being able to feed myself.
But I didn't.
How the bloody fuck can I play this game of life when the dealer keeps cheating and taking everything I have?
I knew this would happen when I transferred my claim from where I was living to here you know. I knew there would be an issue which would result in my claim not going through and I wouldn't receive my money. I just didn't see it happening when I was over-overdrawn and starving, and for it to occur two months after my claim was transferred.
Fuckup number 5: my Job Seekers Allowance doesn't get paid. I called them four times today, from 10:00, to firstly find out why it hadn't been paid, and secondly what I could do to sort it out so I would receive it before midnight tonight. The forth time, thirty minuets before the job center closed, they told me that it would be in my account before midnight. It's 00:24 now, and it isn't. So tomorrow morning at 09:00 I go back to the Job Center and ask them to find out, and they won't be able to tell me and I spend another day asking and being told to wait whilst they find out.
I'm just trying to get into full time paid work. Why does the world keep fucking me over like this? What the hell did I do to deserve this kind of punishment? Always hungry, or bored, or waiting on someone else for weeks to do something they'd do for anyone else in a day or two.
Why am I always fucked?
