...I would start off by typing swear words here, most of which would be quite inadequate to properly describe my feels, so let's go with, FUCK, and leave it at that and move onto why I feel the need for a long, long, LONG diatribe of vehement exclamation.
...
I am applying to the metropolitan police service in the city of London, England, UK.
I have passed all of their recruitment tests, done 95.86% of the certification course you need to pass in order to be accepted into police training, and done all but 16 of the questions for the closed book exams. Once I've done this last handful of task I will then be into paid training where I learn the equipment and admin side of the biz to go with my knowledge of legislation and morality instilled in me by a college in London.
I choose to join the police service because, since the economic crash, I can't get work with anyone else. I have no work history, no references, and my education, although formidable, is also uncertified self taught learning [I'm not eligible for any form of funding to get the certification anymore].
So, every two weeks I have to come into a job center in the UK, sign on and survive for another two weeks on job seekers allowance and housing benefits once I show them that I've applied for a set number of positions in the last couple of weeks [which I do because you never know your luck unless you press it]. Fine. In effective in actually finding me work [the job center staff are one step above processing computers because they never actually confirm anything I'm telling them to be true or provide me with practical advice] and I can't afford to replace any of my aging shit, but it keeps me alive.
I wake up on Wednesday and goes for epic run to check-in with job center, thinking that once done, I can get some college work done, the last 5% of the coursework, revise for my exams at the end of next week, and catch up with reviewing information in time for starting training.
That's when they hit me with an epic case of Fuck You, a technical term used here to describe the retardation of their own mandate.
You see, because my adviser...sorry, 'job coach', got it into his head that I would be quitting signing on this week [I never actually told him that] and I couldn't provide him with the precise start date of my paid training [I need to take the resit, which can't be sent to the examiners till the end of the month, they need to process my pass certificate, and then I need to give that to the police who then tell me to show up here and then for training] he now has me coming to the job center on a daily basis [according to a management command, though I think that's bullshit just so I can't blame he himself for annoying the shit out of me with daily check-ins] and is referring me to a company tomorrow who, he assures me will find me a position in a week or two [though that's bullshit, because they've already sent me to another called A4E who didn't do shit to actually help me].
So instead of getting the last of my course done using my toy PC, instead of my ancient phone, at a reasonable pace and getting the information I need to know into my head, this asshole has me seeing him daily for no actual purpose [he asks me if I've applied, I say yes, he then sends me to see a job seeker help company and that's all he does] so the best chance I've got to get into paid employment is now crippled.
I'm just gonna write this as large as I feel is reasonable to convey the stupidity here:
A COMPANY WHO'S ENTIRE GOVERNMENT MANDATE IS TO ASSIST ME INTO FINDING WORK IS TAKING AWAY/SLOWING DOWN MY BEST CHANCE TO GET INTO FULL TIME PAID TRAINING/EMPLOYMENT.
So...yeah...I got a fair bit to swear about right now.
I swear to whatever fucking gods might be reading this, when I went to do my fitness test with the police, I got ill with the first illness I had in 10 years, a fucking chest infection, and barely scraped through on no food and little sleep due to lack of money and exams the next day, right around the time I got evicted from my place of residence for more than a year.
After that I went to do the majority of the coursework for my Certificate in Basic Policing college course, and my PC broke so I ended up doing 75% of it on my phone and failed to answer a number of exam questions I'm now doing in the resit [which incidentally I have to pay for] due to a combination of not being able to work quickly enough and stress.
So I get a computer which will allow me to finish off the coursework and ace the final tests and maybe catch up a bit so when I start training I'm not so clueless as I am currently, and the fucking job center says 'ya know what, we don't believe this college course and your application to the police is worth shit, so we're going to cripple you, have you apply for jobs you won't get 5 days a week and scare the shit out of you because the only reason you're still breathing is because of us and we're now searching for an excuse to make you a starving homeless person'.
And there's no help.
There's never any help.
Chest infection, money and sleep, and eviction, well, perfect storm made up of back luck, asshole flatmates, and circumstances, OK, that was shit, but I got through it, even if the fucking fitness examiner bullied me right there and then during the test [not even kidding].
PC broken, well that could've been resolved by using the PC's at my college, but they were closed for the summer and complaining about this to my admin and course tutor had zero effect. I still have to lodge a formal complaint about that shit once I've got a bit of time to actually deal with it. I didn't know Gumtree had toy PC's for sale for £50. If I had, I would've got one months ago and go on with it, but I didn't know.
The job center is just one more event in a line of shitty events that enrages me when-during Week 10, the final official in class exam at the college, there this blond women there who was all smiles when she handed in her final test. I overheard her and the course tutor chatting and she said she had aced all the tests, done all the coursework, passed the recruitment interviews and that she'd have to tell her boss at her full time job that she was quitting next week.
I have an IQ of 175 points. My memory, my aptitude, my general mental functionality is somewhere in the genius zone. I'm creative, imaginative, witty and my advice normally borders on the prophecy from God scale as 'from his mouth to your ear'.
The trouble is, if there is just a thing as God, although I prefer to just consider existence as 'The Universe', whatever there may be behind it's design, it fucking hates me like a fine sexy promiscuous young women hates a flaming case of genital herpes.
Being brilliant matters not one fucking iota when the world does its best, at every turn, either to fuck you up or not explain why what you're doing does not work.
And there's no helping it. I can't complain to anyone, no one cares, no will change their mind. If I went into the job center tomorrow for my third appointment this week and spoke to my adviser and explained all this to him [probably several times because he's got the intellect of your PC mouse] he would shrug and say 'can't be helped' or 'it's the law' or 'I don't have any evidence of that', because he's already said, without prompting, all of those things to me this week.
No. What I've got is this: do everything he asks for. Put up with it. Try to develop the morale to get the last of my work done on the weekend and give a shit long enough to either find some temporary work [and get the adviser off my back] or finish my application with the police and give him a start date [which can't physically be done for another 23 days I believe.
Under normal conditions I wouldn't blink. I would just deal. But it doesn't stop. It doesn't end. It just keeps going. I solve one issue, I pass one test under stupid and unfair conditions with a side order of bullying or unfair treatment, and then, after the dust all hits the floor, I get hit again by something else.
Literally I said to myself 'there will be something at the end of the course which will cripple my ability to finish it, I don't know what, but it will happen' and lo, what happened?
[Library wifi cut out before I could post this so I've no idea, three days later, how I was going to end it, but I think the point is made, FML]
